The Miracle of Hope
by Ellaurora
Summary: Bella lived in a world of loneliness and neglect. Her life was nothing but pain, until she met Edward Cullen. He showed a new life. A new life full of love and passion. The were invinvincible against the world until reality stepped full summary inside
1. Preface

**Summary: Bella lived in a world of loneliness and neglect. Her life was nothing but pain, until she met Edward Cullen. He showed her a new life. A new life full of love and passion. The were invincible against the world until reality stepped in. Left all alone emotionally and physically, Bella is forced to raise her child, Leila Hope Swan, all on her own. After 5 yrs, it seems that Bella will never regain her lost love and life again, but what happens when she comes face to face with Edward Cullen once again?**

**Warning: Some characters will appear out of character than they do in the Twilight Saga. Also, some content is dark as Bella is completely lost with her life before Edward. Please Comment! I hope you like it!**

~Preface~

I still remember that feeling when he touched me. My whole soul would light on fire, blazing passions running like wild flames through both of our systems. It was inescapable; neither of us could deny the feelings we shared for one another.

I was young; we were both young. We were both naive to the world, unaware of reality and the issues we must all come to face. We were young and invincible, thinking we could handle anything life threw at us, together, hand-in-hand, but something happened. I changed. He changed. We both changed. We grew up.

I had never known what love was, never felt a feeling so strong in my life. I wanted him with me forever and forever, always consuming my life. They all told me I was too young to understand, that I couldn't possibly be in love. I didn't believe them and didn't care, neither did he. It's not till now that I understand what a fool I made of myself. Everyone was right. I was too young and didn't understand a thing about a serious relationship and now I am paying the price every day. I have to get up in look in the mirror to the face that holds nothing but burdens and mistakes. But, they were wrong about one thing. I was in love with Edward Cullen and the short time we spent together was the best in my life.

I might regret my recklessness and my mistake to ever get involved with a boy like Edward Cullen, but there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret the miracle we made. He might be gone, but the child he left me with still remains. She is my life and the only love I will ever have. I have been raising her all on my own for nearly five years and I have tried as hard as I could, doing the best I could possibly manage.

I will raise my daughter with a clear and practical head on her shoulder, teaching her through all the mistakes I made. I might be full of pain and suffering, but my daughter will never feel a part of it. I will tell her my stories and memories of all that you have to lose when you are young and innocent. I will make sure she doesn't follow in my foot steps and make the mistake of falling in love with a hopeless relationship. She will learn to not let her passions and emotions get the best of her and cloud her judgment and reality. After all, what is love if it doesn't last and only leaves you feeling lost and hopeless?


	2. First Meeting

**Okay, so this is going to be split up into two different books. One of the past and one of the present. This is the past and starts where Bella is just starting to get to know Edward. Also, some adult content and issues so be forewarned! Enjoy and comment pls!**

_BOOK ONE: The Past is Dead and Gone_  
~Chapter 1~

~February 2005~

The halls were dark and creepy as I made my way down the bottom floor of the Port Angeles Preparatory School in Port Angeles, Washington. I tried to ignore the pain in the side of my ribs and the numbness consuming my whole body as I limped through the darkness. I tugged at my navy blue sweater that was a part of my school uniform, trying to yank it down as far as I could over the short plaid shirt. A draft was blowing into the halls from the classrooms I walked by and I crossed my arms over my chest in an effort to keep warm, ignoring the sharp pain it caused.

I finally made it into the afternoon sunlight that was setting before me and limped my way across the parking lot to my old run down red Chevy pick-up. During school hours, it stood out against the brand new fancy cars of all of my classmates, but in the practically empty parking lot, it fit in more than ever. Just like me. I didn't fit in with any of my classmates. I only belonged in the darkness and shadows of life.

I was different than all of my other classmates. I was from a broken family with little money and I had a practically broken soul. The other students came from rich, wealthy families of doctors and lawyers, while my mother had long been gone and my father was a policeman. They all liked to pick on me and make me feel more miserable than I already am, as proof to what just happened to me.

His name was Tom Brewster and he had his own ways of picking on me. He was a member of the football team, weight lifting team, and baseball team. After school, I would often study in the library for hours, not wanting to face the emptiness and grief consuming my whole house. Tom had found me wandering the halls one late afternoon and it was then that he had first taken advantage of me. It had been going on for a few weeks and I didn't fight it anymore. He wasn't too forceful with me anymore and I learned to just accept it. Besides, I was nothing else in life. I had no friends, no family, I was just lost in the world.

I was on a scholarship at Port Angeles Prep. I had attended Forks High School, back in my home town of Forks, but my father wanted me to get a better start in life than I had already had, so I was enrolled in Port Angeles Prep on full scholarship.

I was smart, although not as smart as many other students. They all came from families of smart backgrounds, while mine wasn't even close. I wasn't close with any of my other relatives. They were all either dead or moved far away. My mother had been a drug addict and abandoned me and my father when I was very young. All I had left was my father and a house full of sad memories and pain.

The sunlight streamed through the windows as I watched the snow fall outside the classroom windows. I had my head down on my arms as my daze was geared toward the glistening snow outside. The rest of the class was as wild and rambunctious as ever and my history teacher struggled to get their attention. I sat in the back, all by myself, away from the mayhem that encompassed all of these lives. I glanced around at all of them. All of the pretty tall blondes and brunettes, with perfectly tan skin even in the dead of winter. They looked like they belonged on the runway and not in a school history class, while I probably looked like a homeless victim despite my matching uniforms with them. My meager curly, brown hair, dark chocolate eyes, and snowman white skin had nothing on their natural beauty.

"Settle down!" Mr. Flint yelled as I sighed and glanced back out the window to the snow. Finally everyone began to shush up and Mr. Flint cleared his throat to begin his lecture.

"Alright, it is time for your last big grade in this class for your senior year," he said. The whole class began to cheer like a bunch of monkeys at the words "senior year". "We will be doing debates and you and your partner will each be assigned a topic to debate against another pair with. This is a big deal and will count as a big part of your final grade," Mr. Flint continued. His short speech was followed by a series of moans and groans from each student and I just wanted to get up and shout "get over it".

"Alright!" he said, "This is a big deal which will be taken seriously. In order to see that it is, I will be assigning partners." Another chorus of whines occurred. "Once you are assigned your partners, I will then assign you your topics," he continued.

I decided to go back to my daze as Mr. Flint began to call out the partner pairs. I was awakened from my state of soon to be unconsciousness when I heard him call my name.

"—Bella Swan, you will be paired with Edward Cullen."

I heard a few girls whine at that and looked around to see all of their pouting faces full of disappointment. Edward Cullen was probably known as the most attractive and richest guy in the school. His mother owned her own furniture line, Cullen Furnishings, full of modern day and trendy leather couches and kitchen sets while his father owned his own hotels, L'hotel de Cullen, in places such as Manhatten, Los Angeles, and even Tokyo and Paris. Why such a family would be living in the middle of nowhere like off the border of Forks, but supposedly his mother wanted him to grow up away from the busyness of city life and in a nice quiet area.

"Alright, meet up with your partners for the remainder of class! I will come around with each of your topics!" Mr. Flint yelled as desks and chairs began to scrape the floors as the students reluctantly moved to meet with their partners.

I stayed in my seat and sat up to get out a clean sheet of notebook paper when I heard the chair beside me scrape the floor and a tall handsome body sat down next to me.

"Hi Bella," he said strangely, almost polite. It was weird; I didn't think anyone really knew me let alone talk to me in such a polite manner. I was so used to their taunts and jokes, and I suddenly felt like I would give Edward Cullen a chance to prove whether he was just like the rest of them or someone stuck in a world he didn't belong, just like me.

I looked up into his green eyes and noticed they were smiling at me in a very welcoming gesture. "Hi," I stuttered, sounding like a complete idiot, as blood rushed to my cheeks. He was one of those people who was so attractive up close that you couldn't help but blush every time they met your eyes.

He chuckled a bit and said, "You ready for this debate?'

It took me a minute to come out of my daze of just studying his every move, but I tried to answer as coherently as possible, "Uhh, I guess so. I'm really not one for public speaking though."

He chuckled again, his eyes still smiling. "Why am I not surprised," he said, but it didn't seem as if he was mocking me, more like teasing me like a friend would.

I attempted to smile back, but it only made me blush more and I looked away in embarrassment. Thankfully, Mr. Flint had wandered over with our topic to save me from my moment of shame.

"Ahh," he sighed, "Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan, this will sure make an interesting debate. You will be going against Emmett and Jessica and your topic is abortion. You will also be taking the con stance, so start your research and good luck!"

Mr. Flint sauntered away, leaving me once again alone with the handsome Edward Cullen and a horrid debate topic. I had hope for an easier one that wasn't so controversial, but I had to make do with what I got.

"Well this will be fun," Edward teased.

"Yeah," I mumbled, still looking down.

"So," he started, "When do you want to meet to work on this?"

"Uhh, 'sup to you," I muttered.

"Okay, how about after school then, or do you work or do any sports?" he questioned.

"No," I said, continuing my downward stare.

"Didn't think so," he said, "Well we'll meet then tomorrow and go from there. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I muttered in the same tone as previous, "I spend most days after school in the library so we can meet there."

He laughed a little louder than his previous chuckles, "Why am I not surprised. Belle Swan, you sure are an interesting girl, but it will be a delight getting to know you."

I finally released my glance from my notebook paper and looked up into his warm green eyes. I noticed they had sprints of honey in them, and my insides tingled in a new way. He smiled his friendly smile down at me and I thought to myself, maybe Edward Cullen wasn't a bad guy. Maybe he wasn't like the rest of my classmates, stuck in a world full of themselves. Maybe Edward Cullen was someone who had a sense of reality and could understand me…


	3. The Friend I Never Had

~2~

"Oh, so how about this?" Edward Cullen said as he held up a book in front of my face. He pointed to a line of small text and I squinted to read it. "We might be able to fit this into one of our speeches," he said.

We were seated in the library and had been for the past 3 hours. It was also our fourth trip to the library afterschool to work on our stupid debate.

"Uhh, I guess we could work it in somewhere," I said quietly staring at the line of print he was still pointing too.

"Yeah, I really think it could help us win," he said, his voice full of excitement, his smile beaming.

"Okay, if you really think so, you can use it in your speech," I said back smugly.

He laughed back at me, his warm eyes and smile beaming at me. I had been wrong about Edward Cullen. I had stereotyped him before I even got to know the real Edward. After spending four hours a day for four days, I had come to the conclusion that he was not as bad as all his other classmates. He was just simply a victim of peer pressure.

Now, that's not to say I really knew him and we had suddenly become best friends. Edward still ignored me in school when I did see him and we didn't really have any other conversations aside from those about the debate, but he was still someone I began to feel comfortable around.

"Okay," I started, "We need to decide who is going to be the first speaker and who is going to be the second."

"Well," he said in a smug tone which made me giggle and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear shyly, "I know that Emmett is going to be the first speaker and Jessica is going to be the second because Emmett is nowhere near as capable as Jessica to make sense during a public speech. So, do you want to go against Emmett or Jessica?"

"Uhh," I said looking down in shyness, "I was kind of hoping to be the first speaker because you just seem like you can provide better arguments than I can."

"And because you think I'm better at public speaking," he teased, grinning at my embarrassment.

"Yes that too," I muttered quietly, still looking down.

"Okay, that's fine, I'll be the second speaker," he said throwing his hands up and leaning back on his chair as if he had just given up on a game.

"Really?" I gasped thankfully.

He threw his head back and laughed, "Yes, I figured that was how we were going to do it anyway."

"That's what I hoped," I said in relief, looking into his emerald eyes.

He continued to smile at me when his cell phone began to go off. "Oh shit, hold on a sec," he said digging into the pocket of his blue button-down shirt.

"Hello," he asked into the phone. I looked away from him and pretended to scan some pages of one of the books we had open on our table.

"Hey Mom," he continued, "No, I'm at the library, remember I told you I had a project for school to work on…yeah, I was going to meet you there after…oh it is? I'm sorry Mom, I didn't mean to keep you waiting…yeah, okay, I'll be right there." And with that he shut his phone and sighed.

"Listen," he said turning back to me, "I'm really sorry, but I have to go."

"Okay, that's fine," I said meeting his apologetic eyes.

He nodded and began to pick up his books and bags as I turned my nose back to the book I was reading. He began to get up and walk away, when he turned around and said to me sweetly, "Can I walk you out? I don't want to leave you here all alone. It's getting pretty late."

I looked back into his eyes and felt his worry and care pour into my soul. "No, I'll be fine. I'm leaving soon anyways."

"Are you sure?" he questioned worried.

"Yeah," I said although it came out weak. I wanted more than ever to walk out to the parking lot with him, but I knew it just wasn't right. He had such a different life than me. It would be awkward.

He was just about to turn away and walk out when one of the lights on the far side of the library went out and I gasped frightened.

"That's it," he said turning around, "You're coming with me." He started stuffing my books into my bag and I reluctantly got up to walk out of the library with him.

The hallway was dark and creepy as usual as we walked down it toward the doors to the parking lot, but other than usual, I felt safe with him next to me.

"So, I'm sorry I had to leave like that," he mumbled.

"It's okay," I mumbled back reassuringly.

"Yeah, well my parents were being…annoying," he said exasperated.

I just nodded my head, looking forward toward the door.

"I bet your parents are just as annoying. Always wanting you home with them and wondering where you are," he said.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Not really. My dad works late and my mother moved out on us a few years back."

He nodded back, not really understanding, "Yeah, divorce is pretty common these days."

Silence had fallen between us as I struggled to keep up with his long strides. He was so tall and strong, while I was just a short little weak link. Suddenly, the door to the weight room opened up and I jumped back in fright as I saw my worst fear step out.

I cowered to the side of Edward, refusing to look in Tom Brewster's direction as he walked past us, glaring hard over his shoulder with fury written all over his face. I knew he was looking for me, but would he dare try with Edward so close to me.

"What's up with him?" Edward asked confused as soon as Tom was out of hearing distance.

I just shrugged my shoulders again and soon enough we made it to the parking lot where I was safe at last from the horrors of school. I was thankful for letting Edward walk me out, for if he didn't, I would be stuffed in the janitor's closet with Tom, gasping for breath and struggling to feel…

Our cars were two of the last left in the parking lot and he walked me over to my red truck.

"So, I think we got pretty far on it today," he said to me smiling.

"Yeah," I nodded, looking at my feet, admiring the mud covering my black Mary Jane's.

"So, I know tomorrow is a Friday, but do you want to work on it afterschool too? I think we can finally get all the research done," he said.

"Yeah, sounds cool. I don't really do anything on Fridays anyway," I said looking up at him, although his face was in the shadows of the setting sun and I had to squint to make out his eyes.

He laughed, "Oh Bella, you never cease to amaze me."

"What do you mean?" I questioned. I wasn't sure if he was making fun of me or not.

He chuckled, "Nothing, just that, you are very different."

I looked down in embarrassment, feeling my blush coming on. He was definitely picking on me.

"Not in a bad way," he suddenly rushed out apologetic, "I was just saying that you're very different than other girls that go here and I like that about you. You make for a very interesting debate partner." He smiled sweetly at me and I felt more blushes coming on. He had just told me he liked me! Edward Cullen liked me! I felt like flying!

But I didn't show it. "Oh, thanks," I muttered, barely audible.

"Well, I'll see you later," he said cheery, knocking me playfully on my shoulder with his fist.

I watched as he walked away and climbed into his silver Volvo. I watched as his slender hands spun the steering wheel and backed out of the parking lot. He waved at me as he drove out and I felt my insides go all tingly. And for the first time, I smiled to myself. It wasn't a smile of laughter or to try to make myself feel better. It was a genuine smile of happiness. This strange Edward Cullen, whoever he was, was making me happy. A feeling I don't think I've felt for a long time or since I could remember. I smiled to myself as I drove all the way home, thinking of how amazing Edward was and how much I wanted more than ever to count on him, as the friend I never had.

**Please comment and tell me whether you like it or not! This part of the story will start to go fast so I can get to the main part of it, 5 years later.**


	4. Saved

**Warning: This chapter contains some violence and adult content. **

~3~

The trampling of feet and the slamming of doors sounded like thunder coming down the hallway. I tried to push my way through the busy crowd, so I wouldn't be late to my third period class. It was no use, I was always late and my teacher didn't care enough when I told him I always got stuck behind people. Apparently, I'm supposed to have magic super powers!

I felt a few angry elbows jam into my side and a few nasty pushes against my shoulder as I struggled to push them all out of the way. They were like a herd of cattle; strong, stubborn bulls who wouldn't move if a bull dozer was coming for them.

I had finally reached the doors to go upstairs when it opened abruptly, slamming into my face and knocking me to the ground, my books spilling over. Of course, no one cared enough and just simply trampled over them, laughing as they went.

I was on my hands and knees on the floor, scooping them up into a pile and scooting back against the lockers, deciding to wait until the crowds died down before I went to class. I put my head down on my knees when I felt a soft hand press down onto my shoulder and soft breaths caress my face.

"Are you okay?" Edward said sweetly, "Didn't you hear me calling your name down the hallway?"

I looked up shock into his eyes and shook my head in disbelief. Had he actually wanted my attention in public, in school? In front of all his peers who so often like to joke and laugh at me.

He took my two hands into his and I felt his soft palms press into them. He pulled me up to his feet so I could be level with him and then bent down to pick up my books. I looked around and saw some weird glances and stares in our direction but the main crowd had long since been gone. Only a few stragglers were left in the hall now.

I was amazed that Edward Cullen was becoming such a friend to me. He talked to me in the hallway and helped me up just like a normal friend would. Or at least, that's what I saw in the movies and on TV. I never had someone be nice to me; I was so used to the laughing. This was all so foreign to me.

He pressed my books back into my arms and leaned back away from me. He looked around cautiously and I knew he was embarrassed to be interacting with me, the weirdo.

"So," he stuttered, "I just wanted to tell you, that I can't meet with you after school today. I promised my friend I would help him out with something and that so happens to be today, and I forgot, I'm so sorry."

I nodded, "S'okay," I said to the floor. Maybe that would appreciate my words.

"Yeah," he said, stuffing his hand into his pockets and looking around nervously like we were sneaking around. I wanted to scream at him to just go if it was so hard for him to be around me in public, when one of his friends interrupted instead.

"Yo, Edward, c'mon man, let's go," a buff male, by the name of Emmett I thought, called down the hall to us.

"I'm coming," Edward called back. He turned back to look at me. "Well, I gotta go, I'll see ya Monday," he rushed out and I watched as he walked quickly away from me. What was I kidding myself, Edward wasn't my friend. He was just like the rest of them. He walked away from me like I was a disease, but as he left, I thought I saw a glimmer of hurt and apology buried somewhere deep in those green eyes…

The orange lights flickered above me and I decided to pack up my stuff and exit the library. It was proof that my life was pathetic by the way I stayed at the school library till 5:30 on a Friday night.

I walked out into the dark halls, that were darker than usual, and into my danger zone. I was too busy thinking of the piece of pizza I could whip up at home for dinner before I had my nightly crying jag, that I didn't see the weight room doors open ahead of me.

I heard the crashing sound as a tall, dark male walked briskly down the hall way, slowing down when he saw me. I knew it would be best to turn around and run, but he would catch me. I felt lost as Tom always made me feel and I wished that Edward was by my side just like he had been the previous nights.

I heard Tom's heavy breathing when he stopped just a few feet in front of me. I was frozen in place, my bag hanging off my shoulder, my face to the floor. _Not tonight Tom_, I prayed, _please_.

"So I see you been hanging with Cullen lately," he shouted loudly, making my whole body wince and my eyes squint tight together.

"What, he is like your protector or something?" he yelled even louder. He had moved closer and I felt him tower over me, breathing down my face, but I still didn't move a muscle and kept my face down to the floor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his big strong hand come up and in a flash, I felt it whip across my face. I heard the crack it made and the force of his strength made me stumble back. Unfortunately, he had caught me by the arm and pulled me up against him. "Answer me when I'm talking to you bitch!" he screamed at me. "You've been hanging around Cullen all week after school and I saw you two in the hallway this morning, now tell me, are you his now?" he continued to yell.

I shook my head weakly. "Answer me!" he yelled as he shook my shoulders and I felt my head bob back in forth.

"No," I squeaked out as tears came to my eyes. My cheek was still reeling from the pain of his hit and I was dying for an escape.

"Liar!" he screamed.

"I'm not!" I screeched back at him, not holding back my tears as they fell.

"Well, then why don't you send your new little boy toy a message," he began harshly, furiously whispering into my ear. His cold breath made me shiver, "You are mine and nobody else's. Tell him to get lost, or I will deal with him myself."

I nodded silently through my tears as he pulled his mouth away from my ear and threw his fierce lips onto mine. I struggled to pull away from him but he only latched onto me harder. In seconds, my bag was thrown off of my arm and I was thrown back into the same old familiar closet.

He was using a new force with me, one that he had never used before, and I guessed it was from his anger and resentment. I felt my whole body crash back into the shelf holding supplies when he threw me into it and I landed on the floor, my whole body scraping against the cement.

I turned my head and watched him in horror as he bounded to the door and picked me up off the ground by my brown curly hair. I let out screeching screams until he threw me back onto the floor, and he began to unzip his pants.

Before I knew it, he crashed down on top of me, lifting my skirt up. I pushed against his chest as hard as I could, screaming loudly. "NO!" I shouted at him and I pulled on both of his ears with my free hands.

He got up, dragging me up with him angrily. "Shutup!" he screamed in my face and then I was back on the ground, my ribs slamming down hard against it. He was back on me, yanking at my sweater and skirt and I felt them both rip under his rough fingers.

I screamed louder, kicking my legs to get him off of me, when I heard the footsteps of someone else bound through the small closet, slamming the door open.

Tom was suddenly off of me, but before he left me for the strange figure in the door, he put his fist into my eye to keep me down on the floor. I scrambled up onto my knees, holding my side where the pain stabbed me, and crawled to the back of the closet, leaning onto the metal shelves for support. Finally, I glanced back around and saw Edward Cullen attacking Tom through their screams.

"You leave her alone!" he screamed in fury into Tom's face, "Do you hear me? You will never lay a hand on her again you sick son of a bitch!"

With one last punch to his face, Tom fell back and Edward rushed to me clinging in fear to the closet shelf, trying to scoop me up. I saw the anger written all over his face and I was afraid to go to trust this new side of Edward.

"No, don't touch me," I screamed, as he tried to pick me up.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," he said calmly to me, and I willingly let go so he could scoop me up into his arms.

My arms were thrown around his neck, and my face was pressed against his broad chest as he jumped over Tom and ran through the dark school hallway with me in his arms. My eyes were still closed and body still shaking from fright as we made it into the parking lot. I was too distracted trying to block out the recent events that I didn't notice him stuff me into the front seat of his car. I crumpled into a tiny ball on the black leather seat and felt him climb into the driver's seat and speed out of the parking lot and onto the road. I glanced up outside the window and said, "Where are you taking me? What about my car?"

"We'll get it later," he spit out, his temper still angry, "I have to make sure you're okay right now."

"I'm fine," I tried to reassure him, although I knew I was far from fine.

"Don't lie to me," he said loudly, although still caring, "You're bleeding all over the place and I saw the way he handled you."

I looked all over my body and saw the bruises beginning to form and felt the blood gushing from my nose. I felt my tears of fear begin to fall again. Edward's worried eyes glanced over at me from the road and I saw all of his anger disappear, and in replace, was his sorrow.

"Don't worry, I'm going to make you okay," he cooed sweetly and I believed it. I felt like I could trust him, despite what happened earlier in school. As we pulled in through the gates to the driveway of a tall white mansion, I knew that this boy was like a true friend to me. He saved me from my worst nightmare and he was here to help me pick up the pieces…


	5. Fallen Angel

**Okay, after this chapter, it's going to go pretty fast now so I can get to the present. So yeah, please comment and tell me if you like it or the idea of it or what not! Thanks for reading!**

~4~

The sun was completely set and the full moon shined down on the glistening driveway full of cold wintery ice. I looked up to the towering great white mansion that glowed in the moonlight. I still sat crumpled into a little ball on the black leather seat and after parking in the garage, Edward came around to lift me out of my seat.

There were three other cars sitting in the driveway; a black Mercedes, a bright red mustang convertible, and a black Range Rover. I looked at them in awe, wondering how a family could afford such magnificent vehicles.

Edward carried me in his arms just the way he had on our way out of the school. He went into the door off the garage, which led into some kind of sitting area in the basement of the house. "Aren't your parents going to be wondering what you're doing?" I whispered up to him.

"Shh, no they're not home," he whispered back soothingly. I wondered at that fact. After all, there were three other cars besides his in the garage, how many other ones did they own?

I felt shivers go down my spine at the thought that we were alone. What was he going to do to me? Was he going to try to take advantage of me in my weak state, just like Tom? I was scared and wanted more than ever to be out of his arms and run away, but a part of me trusted him and knew to stay with him.

We walked up a pair of stairs in the basement which led to a long hallway full of rooms, and I could see the large dining room and kitchen at the end of it and the large round foyer, housing the front door, at the other end. Off of the foyer, I saw a large ornate staircase, however, he didn't go toward it. Instead he creeped to the kitchen, which was empty, and went to a small little staircase of the edge of it. There were thousands of rooms and small hallways on the top floor, and he walked down the one long hallway until he got to a small door. I thought for sure it would be his bedroom, but instead, it opened to another small hallway with a small little sitting room on one side, a bathroom on the other, and a bedroom in the far center.

"This is my wing," he whispered to me. He had his own wing? Wasn't your own bedroom enough?

We walked into the big, round bedroom, which held thousands of pieces of designer furniture. The navy blue bed faced the door on the back wall in the far right, and on the other side of the back wall, were two glass doors that led to a balcony. He put me onto his bed and muttered, "Be right back," as he went into the bathroom. I continued looking around the room, at the walk-in-closet next to the door. Next to it, were large wooden shelves that sat on the floor, housing a large stereo system and a flat screen TV was above it, hanging from the wall. A desk was on the right wall, with a tall apple computer making up half of it. There was also some kind of a fancy leather chair next to it.

Edward came back into the room, holding bandages, a bowl of water with a wash cloth, cleaning alcohol, tissues, paper towels, Neosporin, and Tylenol. "Here," he said handing me a couple tissues as sat next to me on the bed, "Put them over your nose to stop the bleeding."

I did as he told me and flinched as he reached to take my arm, where a long bleeding cut was from being slammed into the shelf. I continued to wince as he cleaned the dried blood with water and then poured alcohol on it. "Sorry," he whispered, "I'm not a doctor. You'll have to pardon my techniques."

"S'okay," I muttered and his hands on my arms began to feel more tender as he cleaned the cut. Even though I was in a great deal of pain, from all parts of my body, tingling sensations still ran through it as he touched me gently.

He worked in silence while he cleaned my wounds, but I didn't mind the silence. It only made the moment more peaceful. When he was done with my lower body, he moved onto my face which, other than my ribs, hurt more than anything else. He removed my hand that was held over my nose and took a wet washcloth to wipe over my entire face. I sucked in gasps as the warm water stung my swollen face.

"I'm sorry," he breathed onto me. He face was only inches from mine and I felt his breathes on me as he breathed. My nose had stopped bleeding, and he washed the dried blood off of my face. "Alright, I don't think it's broken," he muttered pulling back from me to start cleaning up supplies. He stood up to walk into his closet and came back out with a long maroon T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "Get those clothes off," he said quietly, handing me his clothes, "The bathroom is just right down the hall."

I nodded and walked to the bathroom as I knew from my way in. It was painted a warm cream color and I walked over to the marble sink to look at my swollen face in the mirror above it. My right eye was black and blue and swollen half-way shut, while my left cheek was bright red and swollen, and the area surrounding my lips were bruised too. I lifted off the torn sweater to see my pale skin covered with black and blue marks. I could even make out to hand prints on both of my shoulders where Tom's hands had been to shake me hard. I let out a sob at the sight of my body. What happened to me? What was my life coming to? Tom had never hurt me this much before. Sure, I had a few bruises, but I never looked this beaten up.

I changed into Edward's clothes and walked back to his bedroom where he was out of his uniform and in a white T-shirt and jeans. I admired the way the white T-shirt stretched over his large, muscular torso and felt a pang of want to feel those muscles under his skin.

I tried drying my tears so he couldn't see them, but it was too late. I saw the look of hurt in his eyes and he took my uniform away from me, flinging it onto the floor and pulled me down to his bed. I sat on it against the wall, tugging my knees into my chest. I ignored the protests of pain my sides gave me.

He sat down next to me, sitting on his knees, and touched my chin to bring my face to look at his. My saddened brown eyes locked with his sorrowful green. He brushed my hair out of my face and tenderly ran his fingers over my swollen cheek and eye. I felt my soul fly at his touch and my anxious breathes came fast.

"I'm sorry I couldn't fix this," he said, still gently running his hands over my face.

"S'okay," I muttered back.

He sighed angrily, taking his hands off of my face to his in. He leaned his head back against the wall, covering his eyes with his strong hands, "It's not though," he choked out in fury, "how could he hurt you like that?" I just shrugged my shoulders. "He's done it before, hasn't he?" he questioned, turning his face back toward mine.

I nodded quietly, "How'd you know?"

"By the way you were acting," he said shaking his head, "You weren't in shock or anything. You just accepted it."

"He's never done it this bad before," I whispered.

"That's not the point," he said angrily, "He shouldn't have done it at all! How long has he been taking advantage of you like that?"

"Just for a few weeks," I answered back.

He put his hands over his face again. "You were just like her," he said quietly into them.

I looked up at him confused. "Like who?" I asked worriedly.

He turned to meet my eyes again, "My sister," he sighed, "Her name was Rosalie and she was constantly being beaten by her boyfriend, Royce." He turned to look straight ahead in a daze, but I continued to stare at him, listening to his every word, "She was 19 at the time and I was 13. Her bedroom was right near mine and I'd hear her come home late at night. She'd be holding her side or her hands would cover the side of her face. I'd hear her whimper in pain and I finally came out one night and asked her what was wrong with her. She told me Royce would get angry with her a lot of the time and would abuse her for it. She had the same expression you had on. She just accepted it. She told me to not say anything because she loved Royce and she didn't want to get him in trouble and I was so stupid that I did as she said." He began to gasp for breaths and I knew he was sobbing furiously in the darkness. "Then one day," he choked out angrily, "We got a call from the hospital saying that they found her on the side of the road, beaten and raped. They rushed her to the hospital but it was too late. She was already dead. Apparently Royce and group of his buddies had done it, and they arrested the bastard. But what does that matter, she's dead because she was too afraid to stand up for herself, and to think I could have stopped it." He began to sob even harder and I crawled up to him on the bed, rubbing my hand over his arm in an effort to soothe him.

"Please tell me you won't be so stupid as my sister and let yourself get killed by a scum like Tom," he said to me.

"I won't," I muttered, and paused a few moments before saying, "Thank you for saving me."

"What other choice did I have?" he said, "I heard your screams and you were so helpless."

"How did you find me?" I asked quietly.

He sighed and turned to look at me, "I felt bad for how I treated you in school today and I wanted to go apologize. I decided to just drive by the school to see if you were still there so I could talk to you, and when I saw your truck still there, I decided to go find you. As soon as I got into the building, I heard your screams and protests and I ran to the supply closet where I heard Tom beating the shit out of you and I walked in and tried to help you as much as I could."

"Well, you really helped me. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be lying on the cement floor of the supply closet."

He winced when I said that and whispered, "Please don't talk about it like that."

I nodded, "Why didn't you call the police or bring me to a hospital."

He looked away from me, "I should have, I know, but I was in complete panic mode and I wasn't thinking about Tom, just you, so it didn't occur to me to call the police on him. And now, it's probably too late. He's long gone. As for the hospital, I don't know, it sounds weird but I kind of wanted to help you myself. I know it sounds selfish, but it was kind of like you were someone close to me and I had to be the one to help you; almost like you were my sister."

I nodded, "Well, thank you, again."

He nodded back and suddenly the sound of footsteps from outside the door could be heard. He hurriedly picked me up and my bloody uniform and brought me to his closet. "Hold on for one sec," he promised as he shut the door. I listened as his parents came into his room and I heard their mumbles from behind the door. They sounded like a fairly young couple, laughing as the rich do, with not a care in the world. When he hurriedly pushed them out, he came back to the closet to get me and placed me back on his bed.

"Sorry," he whispered, "I didn't know how they would react to you being here."

"S'okay," I mumbled.

He sighed, "You say that a lot."

I shrugged, "Maybe because it lets me know that things are okay even when they're not."

He stared at me in confusion, "Are things not okay with you often?"

I shrugged, "I guess."

"How so?" he asked concerned.

I sighed heavily, "Well, I mean currently my life is in ruins. I'm sitting here beaten up by some sicko that thinks he has some sort of claim to me. And then there's the fact, that I go to a school where I'm treated like the plague. I've never had a real friend in my life accept in elementary school, and I don't even remember what happened to him. Not to mention, I don't have much of a family either. My father works long hours just to keep us financially stable and my mother was a drug addict who abandoned us when I was 9. So basically, that's the state of my life right now and s'okay."

He shook his head in sorrow, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," I said, "Life is just the luck of the draw. You lucked out and got a stellar lifestyle, while I wasn't too lucky. It's okay, I've accepted it."

"Oh Bella," he breathed into my face, "Would it be wrong to say that I admire you?"

"How so?" I asked bewildered.

"By the way you just accept everything. You don't see fit to whine or moan about any of it and I only wish I could be like that too. The way you look at everything is just amazing to me," he whispered. I nodded. "Come on," he continued, "You should get some rest. You can sleep on my bed. I'll bring you home in the morning."

"Where will you sleep?" I asked.

"On the floor," he said.

I nodded my head and started to lay back on his pillows. "Don't be afraid," he whispered to me, "Tom will never lay a finger on you again, I'll see to that."

"How?" I asked.

"Bella," he whispered into my face, "I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you and protect you from everything the world throws at you."

"I don't want you to do it out of pity," I answered hurriedly at him.

"I'm not," he answered back genuinely, "Please trust me. I care for you Bella. You have changed my life in so many ways, just by the way I look at it. Please, just let me in to help you. I want to do for you what you've done for me. Just trust me, please."

I stared into his green eyes and I knew the answer. "I do trust you," I breathed.

He leaned over and kissed my swollen cheek and I felt the sparks fly and the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. He then kissed my swollen eye, then my painful nose, kissing every bruise on my face with his tender lips, and then finally, touched his gently to my bruised lips. He only did it lightly, barely even touching them, but I still felt the magic soar through me.

"Good night Bella," he breathed when he was finished, "I'll be right here."

I climbed under the covers of his bed and watched as he silently made up a bed for himself on the floor. I thought of how much my life had changed in just this one day and wanted to be with Edward for a long time. I didn't want to ever leave his side and I knew I was beginning to fall in love with him, but whether that was good or bad, I didn't know, but I didn't care either. He was becoming an angel to me and I didn't ever want to let him go.


	6. Heaven

~5~

~March 2005~

After my incident with Tom, Edward had promised he would dedicate himself to being there for me; to be the friend I never had. I knew it would be difficult for him, being that I wasn't socially accepted, but I was happier than ever to have him always by my side. Of course, it took a while for him to get comfortable with me.

For the first week after the incident, it seemed as if nothing had changed and it upset me more than ever. I had really thought our relationship would change. He stayed afterschool in the library with me every day and walked me out to my car. We would pass Tom sometimes, but he never tried to pull anything over on me or Edward and I felt safe at last from his wrath.

The next week, Edward surprised me by actually sitting next to me in history class. It was the only class we had together and I saw everyone's shocked eyes turned toward us, but he acted as if he didn't notice a thing and I was very appreciative of that.

Over the next few days, he started to walk me in the hallways, always protecting me, and the week following, he started to sit with me at lunch. I no longer had to endure the scorn of the cafeteria all by myself in the corner, for he was right there with me.

"Hey, do you wanna go out or something on Friday?"

I was sitting at my lunch table, with my nose in a book, when Edward wandered over to sit down next to me as usual. I was a little shocked by him asking me. I had never gone out with anyone in my life and it felt foreign to me.

"Uh, I don't know I might be busy," I stuttered.

"Oh come on, doing what? Putting your nose in a book as usual?" he teased.

I chuckled and laughed at his joke with him, "Probably."

"You need a break, come on, it'll be fun. It'll be like hanging out here, but ten times better," he persuaded.

I smiled crookedly at him, "What did you have in mind?"

He smiled and sighed, "I don't know, whatever you want, just something to get you out in the public. You need room to breathe."

"And what do you know about my breathing room?" I teased.

He laughed, "I know that you need to get out and go somewhere different. So, come on, we could go to the mall, the movies, out to eat, you name it!"

"Hmm," I pretended to ponder, "Could you take me to Paris, Tokyo, or Milan?"

"If that's what you really want," he joked along with me.

I laughed, "Okay, fine, I'll go out with you."

"Yes!" he practically jumped up and down. "Hey, how about we go to the winter carnival downtown."

"But it's the end of March, isn't it a little cold for carnivals?" I asked.

"Well, that's why it's call the winter carnival," he said.

"Okay fine, I'll go, but if it's too cold, I'm leaving," I said.

He smiled at me at the combined fact that he had won me over and that I was going to spend tonight with him. "I'll pick you up at 6," he said cheerfully.

I decided to not go to the library afterschool, and instead, I drove him to get ready for Edward and our night out to the carnival. I decided to get some homework done and then at 5, I knew it was time to get dressed. I put on a pair of jeans and converse and decided to pair them with a long sleeve black sweater. I grabbed my winter coat, and a matching blue scarf, gloves, and hat. I bounded down the stairs at 5:45 to meet my dad in the kitchen.

"Where're you off to?" he asked gruffly. He had just come home and was still wearing his police uniform. He was unshaven and in his late years, had let himself go. He rarely ever smiled and rarely ever had any contact with me.

"I'm going out tonight," I said, trying to smile at him.

"With who?" he hmped.

"My friend," I answered.

He nodded his head, "What time are you going to be home?"

"I don't know," I said, "Around 10, maybe later."

He nodded again, "Alright, well call if you need anything." He grabbed a plate of spaghetti that was sitting in the microwave and walked out to the living room. I felt my smile turn down. I didn't have a family like Edward. My dad was never concerned as to what I was getting myself into. After my mom, he didn't really care anymore. No one could ever disappoint him as much as she did.

I decided to wait outside for Edward and he didn't disappoint. He was right there, pulling into my driveway at exactly 6. I hurriedly climbed into the silver Volvo and looked up into his smiling face.

"Ready to go?" he asked beaming at me.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed, smiling back at him.

"Come on, Edward, you can do it!" I screamed at Edward as he attempted to use the squirt gun to move the monkey up the pole. He was facing two other couples, both competing for the same prize; a giant brown teddy bear.

"I'm trying," he called as another basket swooshed in and sure enough, the bell sounded and Edward threw his hands up. He had won the game.

I started screaming and jumping up and down, while the guy running the game handed over the giant teddy bear to Edward.

"Oh my god, you did it!" I screamed jumping into his arms. He was laughing as I was screaming and cheering for him.

"Here's the stupid bear," he said, stuffing the giant stuffed animal into my arms. I hugged it close to me and knew I wanted to keep it forever to remind me of Edward and all that he meant to me. He was willing to do anything for me and I never had someone like that before.

We wandered over to the hot chocolate cart and he bought one for each of us. "I can't believe I actually won that thing," he said handing me my hot chocolate.

I laughed, "Well you looked so determined to get it."

"Hey, I wasn't leaving till you were hugging that fury little bastard."

I threw my head back and cracked up. He always had a way with his humor, "Thank you!"

We walked out of the carnival and began to stroll down the sidewalks of Port Angeles which were lit up with bright lights.

"So what are you going to call that thing?" he asked me.

"Hmm, I don't know, what do you think?" I said.

"Well, first you have to know if it's a boy or girl," he said matter of factly.

"Boy," I said quickly.

"Okay then, you could always go with the usual Teddy," he said and I shook my head no making a face. He laughed and continued. "Okay, how about Theodore?" he asked in a fake proper accent. It made me laughed even harder. He was so easy to have fun with and just be with. No wonder every girl in school swooned over him.

"How about Sunny?" I said.

"Sunny?" he said giving me a face.

"Yeah," I answered confidently, "Because he was given to me by someone who truly brightened up my life, just like a sun brightens up the dark sky. You bring me warmth every day, just like the sun."

He smiled at me and I saw the glints of honey in his eyes dance in the moonlight. "I love that name," he cooed sweetly and his face came just inches from mine. We stared into one another's eyes and he whispered, "You have no idea how much you have done the same for me. Every day I've spent with you has made me happier than ever and I never want it to end."

I smiled back at him, "Me neither."

"Good, 'cause you can't rid of me that easily," he said and I threw my head back and laughed. He smiled too and grabbed my free hand in his. His eyes locked with mine passionately and I knew he was contemplating kissing me. He seemed to wonder whether it would be okay or how I would react, but as he began moving his head closer to me, I leaned mine up to him to let him know I wanted nothing more than to kiss him too.

At last his soft lips pressed onto mine and I felt my tingling sensations shoot all through my body. The magic soared through both of us and I wanted to stay in that moment for the rest of my life. I felt like all my life, up till this moment, I had been living in a hell full of human cruelty and pain, but now, I had finally made it to heaven…

**Thanks for reading! Please comment!**


	7. Forever

~6~

~April 2005~

After the winter carnival, I guess it was safe to say that Edward and I had become a couple. He had brought me home after and we kissed passionately in his care before my father came outside to see why Edward was still idling in the driveway.

The student body though was a little wary of our relationship. Edward would hardly ever talk to any of his friends anymore because they would just insult me. As for the other girls in the school, well, they still attempted to flirt with him class, but he would just ignore them and stare into my eyes. I felt like a princess with Edward.

I still thought it weird for Edward to want to be with me. He was so wealthy and handsome, he could have any woman he wanted, but for some reason, that woman was me. I felt like I wasn't measuring up to his standards, but he didn't appear to feel that way at all.

We spent every day together, or every day that we could. I had gotten a job at a local diner being a waitress. I needed the money. I was going to college in the fall, NYU, and I needed something to help pay my tuition. Edward, on the other hand, had got accepted into Harvard and he didn't have to worry at all about paying bills. His parents had that taken care of.

Edward had come over my house a few times and met my father, although their conversations were hardly long. My father, Charlie, was aware that we were a couple, but he didn't want to know what exactly we were doing. He mumbled a few times that I was too young, but I didn't really care about his opinions. Edward's parents, on the other hand, had no idea Edward had a girlfriend. He told me he would bring me to meet them eventually, but I felt like that day would never come because they would never approve of me for their son.~

~A warm breeze blew through the spring air and the sun beat down lightly onto the earth. I leaned up against Edward's arm as we sat up against a tree in the park. I was trying to concentrate and do my homework, but Edward was making it hard as he kept stroking my face with his soft fingertips.

"What do you say to coming and meeting my parents this Saturday?" he asked me sweetly.

I put my book down and looked up at him, "You mean you want me to meet your parents?"

He smiled, "Of course I want you to meet my parents. You're my girlfriend and you're special to me."

"But will they approve of me?" I asked doubtfully.

"It doesn't matter what they think. I just want them to know that there is someone in my life I care deeply for," he cooed.

I nodded, "Well I want them to know about me, but then, I don't know."

"Listen," he began, "My parents are throwing some kind of a spring party with about 50 of their friends and co-workers. As their son, I'm required to attend and they told me that I could invite someone if I wanted too, and there isn't anyone else I would want to endure this party with but you, so will you come?"

I smiled at him and decided I would come. I wouldn't disappoint him. He meant the world to me and I would do anything for him, even if I meant going to meet his parents. I made him wait a few seconds for my answer, and I as I answered him back, "What should I wear?" I watched the smile spread across his face.~

~I was stuck in a pale pink sundress with a white sweater as we made our way up the front steps to Edward's house. He was dressed in a faded blue button down shirt and blazer. Before he opened the door, I whisper, "Do you think they'll like me?"

"Of course they will. You're beautiful," and before we went in, he leaned down to kiss my lips tenderly.

The whole foyer was decorated with spring flowers and decorations and people were wandering around talking to one another. I followed Edward to a smiling couple who were smiling and standing on the large ornate marble staircase. The way they looked lovingly at their son, told me they were Mr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife, Esme.

"Hello Edward," said Mr. Cullen as we got closer to them, "And who do we owe this pleasure to?" He didn't look old at all compared to my father. He looked to be in his mid-30s and he was the picture of Edward, only with golden blonde hair in place of Edward's brunette.

"Mom, Dad, this is Ms. Isabella Swan," said Edward sweetly, smiling at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"It's lovely to meet you, Isabella," said Mrs. Cullen. She was wearing a bright yellow sundress that accented her slim figure and her brunette hair was swept up into a high bun.

"It's nice to meet you too," I echoed, "Please, call me Bella."

"Very well, Bella," she said kindly.

"Well, we'd like to get to know you now Bella," said Mr. Cullen, "But we must run and say hello to the rest of our guests. Save a spot for us at lunch, son."

"Yes sir," Edward answered and with that they walked away to mingle with the rest of their party guests.

Edward decided to take me on a tour of his house so I could officially see it. The last time I had been there was that horrid night when the incident with Tom occurred. He brought me through all of the rooms, and I admired all of the fancy decorating in each, while the rest of the guests were outside in the pavilions and cabanas on the vast back lawn. In the living room, I found myself studying a picture of a young boy and a young woman. They boy appeared to be a young child, while the girl was merely a teenager. The boy had messy brunette hair and the girl had long golden hair and blue eyes. She was the picture of pure and natural beauty.

"That's me and my sister," Edward said as he caught me studying the picture.

"She's beautiful," I remarked of the pretty blonde.

"Yeah, everyone thought she was. She had a mixture of both of my parents' best features," he said.

I nodded my head, still not able to take my eyes off the picture. "Come on, we should probably go meet my parents for lunch," he said and I reluctantly followed him out of the room, staring at the beautiful picture as I left…

~"So, Bella, tell us about yourself," said Mr. Cullen as we sat at our table for lunch. The table was set with the most beautiful china I had ever seen, that glistened under the sunlight.

"Well, I go to Port Angeles Prep with Edward," I stuttered.

"Oh really?" said Mr. Cullen looking up from his plate, "Now where do you live?"

"I live in Forks," I answered back.

"Oh, and what do your parents do?" asked Mrs. Cullen.

"Well, my father is a police man," I stuttered nervously, looking at Edward for support, but he seemed to be looking down at his plate so I continued solo, "And my mother moved out on us when I was younger."

"Oh, what a shame, but that must mean you have very little money to support yourselves?" Mrs. Cullen said.

"Yes, but my father works as hard as he can and I recently got a job too," I answered back.

"What do you do?" asked Mr. Cullen.

"I'm a waitress at a diner in Forks," I answered. I watched the frowns on both of their faces. Each one mimicking the other's. They seemed to be very unhappy at the prospect of their son going out with a waitress.

"Well how on earth do you afford Port Angeles Prep?" Mrs. Cullen asked.

"I'm on full scholarship. I used to go to Forks High School, but my father wanted a better life for me, so I didn't turn out like my mother, so he moved me over to Port Angeles Prep," I stuttered.

"Interesting," Mrs. Cullen said, giving me a disapproving nasty look. "Will you excuse my husband and son, I need their help with something in the kitchen," she finished.

I nodded my head and watched as they went back inside the house, leaving me all alone. "I'll be right back," Edward whispered before he walked away.

I sat there for ten minutes, glancing around at the other party guests in their designer clothing talking about life as if there wasn't a care in the world. _How nice it must be to be rich_, I thought. They never had anything to worry about. They had their money and their successful careers that brought them all the happiness in the world, while my dad and me struggled to live day by day. Their life was like a fairy tale, while mine was just a nightmare.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it read 2:00. I had to be in for work at 3:00, so I decided it was time to go get Edward and tell him I had to leave. I pranced across the lawn, hurrying back toward the house, catching the snooty glances from the guests still finishing their lunch. I could just imagine their thoughts. _What's that dirty broke girl doing here?_

I made it to the porch of the big mansion and went inside. I looked around the hall, but didn't see Edward or his parents anywhere. I heard angry murmurs coming from behind the kitchen doorway, and I tiptoed carefully to listen to what was going on.

I stood outside the white kitchen door that was slightly ajar, my back pressed against the wall, struggling to listen to their angry words.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into!" I heard Mrs. Cullen shout.

"Oh, and what is that supposed to mean Mom?" retorted a furious Edward.

"It means that you don't know how much this relationship with this girl can ruin things!" she yelled back.

"What things?" he questioned.

I stood confused against the wall. How could I ever ruin Edward's life? But, Mrs. Cullen was quick to put her two sense in. "Well, your career for one thing. You're going to Harvard this fall; you need to study and work hard so you can take over the business for your father. You won't be able to do that with this girl as a distraction!"

"She's not a distraction," said Edward.

"Yes she is," said Mrs. Cullen, articulating every syllable, "She simply does not understand how hard you have to work and the pressure that is on you. She could never possibly understand."

"And how would you know if she understood or not?" he said back sarcastically.

"She's not from our social class, Edward. She lives a completely different life. She comes from a poor, disheveled family. It's a wonder how she even got into Port Angeles Prep. After all, she's not very bright. She would never understand the hard work people like us must do," Mrs. Cullen finished.

I continued to stand frozen, aghast at how his mother could make such assumptions about me. She didn't even know me.

"I'll have you know that she's very bright. She got into Port Angeles Prep on a full scholarship," Edward said back. I felt relieved that he had stuck up for me.

"That may be," started Mrs. Cullen again, "But that doesn't excuse her manners and the way she was brought up. Her father is practically scum and I'm sure he mother was no improvement. God only knows what that mother of her was. She could have been a prostitute or a heroin addict for all that we know!" I felt the tears began to sting my eyes. How could she say that about a family she didn't even know. I thought of my dad and how hard he worked to proved for me. We may not have a close relationship, but he still tried his best for me. I felt the tears come on his behalf. "That girl will just take after her rotten parents. She'll never go anywhere. Edward, why don't you understand, she's just a slut! You need to let her go before she comes anymore involved with you and deprives you of all that you have worked hard for," she finished.

The tears began to fall. I thought of the way she called me a slut and how I wouldn't go anywhere in life. Was I really making Edward's life so miserable? I thought we had a real connection, was it all just a lie? Was I just manipulating him?

"You don't understand," Edward said, hardly above a whisper.

"Edward," his father started. I hadn't even realized he was with them, "I think your mother is just simply upset by the fact that you're risking your life for someone who isn't worth it. You should pick someone with better standards." The tears came even harder. I couldn't think of losing Edward. I didn't want to hear this anymore. I didn't want to face Edward after this conversation and I was ready to just walk out.

"Yes, exactly," his mother chimed in.

"Well, you can both go to hell," he said as the door quickly flung open, revealing a tear-strained me standing behind him.

"Bella," Edward whispered and I saw the hurt in his green eyes.

"Edward, get back here," his mother yelled at him from behind the door.

I turned around and ran for the front door, yanking it open as hard as I could. I didn't want to be in this house, with all the fancy decorations and flowers everywhere, everything that symbolized the power and money the Cullen family had in the world; all the power and money that I was deprived of. The one rift me and Edward's relationship.

"Bella," I heard Edward call behind me as I ran down the marble steps for the long winding driveway. I wanted to escape as fast as possible, but I had barely made it to the gate when Edward caught my arm and whirled me around to face him. "Where are you going?" he asked shocked, as if the recent conversation with his parents had never happened.

"Is it true?" I yelled into his face that was only inches from mine. I locked eyes with him, but mine were hard with anger and his were full of hurt.

"Is what true?" he responded back softly.

"Am I really ruining your life?" I asked angry.

"Of course not, how could you even think such a thing like that," he answered bewildered.

"I heard you and your parents. They think I'm depriving you of everything. They called me scum and a slut. Am I really just that to you?" I asked, but my tone went from anger to hurt and pain as I choked on my words and tears began to fall harder.

"Shh," he cooed to me, gently rubbing his hands over my face to wipe away my tears, "You are everything to me. Don't listen to a word they said. They just don't understand."

My sobbing subsided a little, but I still felt lonely and empty. "I just don't want to hurt you in anyway. I don't want you to lose anything because of me," I choked out.

"It doesn't matter," he said sweetly shaking his head, "You matter much more to me than anything else in this world. I'm so sorry that you had to hear that conversation with my parents. They had no right to be so cruel to you and I promise I will talk to them when this party is over. They are just too difficult and don't understand me, but that doesn't mean I will let them control what I do with my life."

I nodded my head and tried to take a deep breath to get all of my emotions out. He took me in close to his chest, wrapping his arms all the way around me. "I love you Bella, and no matter what people say, I will always be here for you, forever."

I closed my eyes and hugged him close to me. I never wanted to let him go. I wanted to be with him forever, and in that moment, I willingly believed that that could be possible, that we could prove everyone wrong, and live happily together, forever…


	8. One Step At A Time

~7~

~May 2005~

In Washington, there is almost always constant rainfall in the spring. We had been lucky this year and there had not been as much as usual, but as I lay on my belly on top of my bed, I knew that this would not hold true for today. The rain was pouring down outside and my room smelled of the musty, humid smell it usually brought.

I stared at a book, _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_, which would be one of the last books I would ever had to read for school. Graduation was in a month; I could make it!

After Edward and his parents' spring party in which I witnessed them ridicule me to their son, I never went back over his house. Instead, we went out or he would come over to my house, although that could only be when my dad wasn't home. That wasn't because we did anything he wouldn't approve of (we never made love once), but because he wasn't too smitten with having company at all, even my boyfriend who was so often over here.

It was a Saturday and unlike usual, I wasn't hanging out with Edward. He had a family party to go to, in which he offered me to come along, but I refused. I knew his parents wouldn't take it lightly if I followed him. They still wished Edward would just kick me to the curb, but I think they would have to work harder than that because Edward and I were dedicated to a life with one another forever. Even though would be attending different colleges in the fall, we still planned on keeping our relationship going. After all, New York City wasn't too far from the outskirts of Boston. We would make it work.

I jumped up startled when I heard the front door below slam shut. It brought me out of my trance and I put down my book to see if it was my dad home so early. He usually didn't come home until 7 on Saturdays and it was only 3:00.

I trampled down the stairs in my gray sweat pants and black T-shirt and saw my dad sitting at the kitchen table, his head resting against it. He was still in his police uniform and I heard quiet sobs be released from his mouth.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I questioned. I was worried. Usually my dad didn't show any kind of emotion, let alone crying.

"Bells," he murmured, his head still resting on the table.

"Yeah Dad I'm right here," I said moving closer to him.

"She's dead," he sobbed into the table.

I stood there frozen, confused on who he could mean. He didn't have any friends. Could it be a long lost relative? "Who Dad?" I asked calmly.

"Renee," he sobbed, "Your mother."

I kept where I was and didn't know how to react. I couldn't believe it. It was like a piece of me was just ripped out of my soul. She wasn't around, but she was still a part of me. All the dreams and fantasies I had of my mother coming back and loving me and saying it was all a big misunderstanding—they were never coming true now.

I stood there, feeling lonely and empty. "How?" I asked, still numb.

He sighed and choked on his breath. He took his head off the table and looked at me. His eyes were all red and puffy. "She overdosed on sleeping pills and god knows what else," he scoffed. "Bells, your mother was addicted to drugs like they were chocolate. I knew they would kill her one day, and I guess they did."

I felt the tears begin to come to my eyes, "How'd you hear about it?"

"I got a call at the station," he began, "She died last night and they didn't know who to call. She was living in an apartment in San Francisco. She was out of work and doing god knows what. They took her to the hospital and they found your birth records with her name and traced you to me and what do you know, here we are."

I nodded my head, not knowing what to say to him. No words could express anything. I didn't know how to act, feel, or anything. I was so lost and confused. I thought I might collapse. I turned around to go back up to my room and wallow in silence, but my dad said, "Listen Bells, the funeral is on Wednesday in Seattle. She's being buried next to her mother. I don't expect you to go, but if you want, you're welcome to come along with me."

I nodded my head and walked upstairs to my room. I didn't know if I wanted to face my mother's grave, where the body of the women who supposedly loved me lay. She didn't mother keeping any contact with me and I hadn't seen her in nearly ten years. I had no desire to pity this woman. She gave me nothing except my life, why should I honor her death?

After spending four hours in my room in silence, I decided I would go and honor my mother. It would be the last time I would ever waste my time wondering about her. I would make peace with myself. I also decided I needed to see Edward. I needed his support and his comforting words, and at 7:30, I got in my truck in the pouring room, in my sweats and all, to go to his house.

The rain poured down as I ran up the sidewalk to the marble stairs of the great white house. I prayed that he was home and that his parents weren't, but I knew I could never be so lucky. I rang the doorbell and one of their butler's answered it. I asked for Edward and he was there within seconds, staring at me shivering in the pouring rain.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have come," I stuttered, "But I just needed to talk to you."

"It's fine," he said smiling his bright smile at me. I followed him upstairs to his room, and he shut the door. "My parents aren't home," he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the edge of his bed. I looked down at my soaked clothes. I hadn't even put a jacket on and my black T-shirt was soaked all the way through. I shivered a little. "Here I'll get you one of my T-shirts," Edward said.

I nodded and he brought back a large T-shirt for me. He turned around while I took off my soaked clothes and put his warm T-shirt on. It went down to mid thigh so it wasn't exactly showing much. Then, I went back to sit on his bed next to him, cuddling into his side.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, just holding on to each other until I muttered, "My mother's dead."

He looked down at me shocked, "Bella, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," I shrugged, "I mean, I'm upset. It's hard to fathom that I won't ever see her again and I can't hope that she'll come back and love me like a mother should, but what's the use of hoping for impossible things to happen if they'll never come true."

"Don't say that," he muttered.

"Why not," I choked. I felt my tears fall. Even though I didn't want it too, my mother's death was hitting me hard. "I've hoped for things to happen my whole life and they never have." I looked into his eyes, rubbing my hand over his large chest, "Edward, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life has been full of disappointments, but you gave me happiness and dreams. I feel alive when I'm with you and I never want to lose that feeling, or you."

He stared at me, his passionate eyes boring down deep into mine. "I never want to lose you either. I love you Bella," he whispered into my ear. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly.

When our lips parted, he kissed my lips lightly and I ran my fingers in his hair and muttered into his ear, "I love you too."

He leaned down to kiss me again and we made passionate love into the night. He was all that I saw and felt that night. He enlightened my skin with fire and sparks and magic sensations ran through my body. His parents never came up once and never knew I was there. Our whispers of love for one another echoed into the night and we continued until dawn.

I had never felt surer in my life to want to be with him forever than that night. We blocked out all the troubles of the world, those who threatened our relationship, and for once, it was just us that mattered. He was an angel to me, a miracle, and I refused to let him go. We would face the world together, one step at a time…


	9. May It Be

~8~

~June 2005~

The smell of chilly and steak fries hit me hard as I sat in the bathroom stall of the Forks diner. My butt was pressed against the cold, white closed toilet seat and I felt a roll of nausea run through the pit of my stomach. _Not again_, I thought to myself. I stood up and lifted the toilet seat to be prepared for my next attack, and it was over shortly. I sat back down on my throne of misery, putting one clammy head on my face, while the other held on to the sacred slim little stick.

"Bella, get out here!" I heard my boss pound on the bathroom door.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back, lifting my hand off of my face. I glanced down at the little white stick, to see what I had been waiting for—the cursed little smiley face.

I had nightmares about that smiley face and the trouble it was about to ensue in my life. Four little stick tests later, and it was official—I was pregnant.

I got off up the toilet and trudged out of the background, covering my face with my hands. _What am I going to do,_ I thought to myself. I had to tell him. He had to know, but how would he react? Would he be mad, sad, angry, or…joyful?

After finishing up my shift at work, I drove home to find my dad sitting at the kitchen table. He seemed to sense that something was wrong by the way I trudged in and my expression.

"Boyfriend break up with you?" he mumbled.

"No," I muttered back and went upstairs. I lay down on my bed, distraught, thinking of a way to escape this humiliation. There was always the usual; abortion, adoption, etc, but could I really do that? Abortion had been my debate topic with Edward earlier this year, the cause of how we met, how ironic. I wasn't against it, but I told him then that I didn't think that I could ever go through with it. Well, months later, I didn't expect to be in those shoes. _Shit_, I thought.

Graduation was only a week away and I decided to wait till after then to tell Edward. It would be better. The pressure of school and finals would be gone and we would have to whole summer to make our decisions.

Of course, I had to tell my dad. I knew he would hate me. I would be another disappointment; just like my mother. The night of graduation, I decided to tell him. It was better to just get it over with.

"Shit, you go and get yourself knocked up Bells. I don't know what to tell you. This is you and that boyfriend of yours problem. He got you into this mess. I've already helped you as much as I could." Those were the only encouraging words I received from my father, but I knew he was right. Telling Edward was more important, but I was so afraid at how he would react.

I drove to his house, late at night, to find his parents scowling at me as I rang the doorbell, as usual. They were still not happy with me and this would make them want to kill me. Edward was of course happy to see me, but wary of my dull expressions. He followed me outside and we stood in his driveway where I was ready to reveal the truth.

"Edward," I started, looking at the ground, "I'm pregnant."

I couldn't look up to see his face, I was too afraid. After about a minute of silence, I looked up to see his open mouth gaping at me.

"What?" he asked, still in shock.

"I'm pregnant," I repeated again, this time confident and staring into his eyes.

"That's impossible," he whispered.

I shook my head, "No it's not. It's the cycle of life. I took four pregnancy tests and they all showed the same little smiley face. I'm going to have a baby."

He nodded, "What do we do?"

I sighed heavily, "I don't know, but we have to figure it out soon."

He looked to the ground, "My parents won't be very happy with this."

I looked at him shocked. How could his parents' reaction matter most to him? "Well, that's obvious, but what choice do I have. I can't go back in time and never have sex with you." My tone was a little angry and verging on the edge of sarcasm.

"I know," he started, "it's just…ugh, I don't know, I don't know what to do!"

"And you think I have a clue," I said sarcastically, "I'm terrified and lost and I came to you for help."

"I know, but this is such a bad time. I mean, I'm just about to go off to college and start a new life," he said. I couldn't believe him. Why was he being so selfish? He didn't seem to care for this baby at all, or me for that matter.

"Well, I'm sorry if I picked the wrong time for you," I spat at him, "Do you honestly think I planned it?"

"No," he said, his tone starting to get angry in reaction to mine, "I'm just saying, I wish we could change things so this would have never happened."

I was so disgusted with him, I didn't care how I spoke to him, "Oh great then, I'll just go get the abortion right now."

"Well, whatever you want," he replied.

I stared at him in shock. This was completely out of his character. How could he be so uncaring? "What the hell Edward!" I shouted.

"What do you want from me?" he yelled back.

"How about a little support," I spat in his face.

"Well, I'm lost. I don't know what to do either. All I can think about is how everyone will treat us and look at us if we start raising a kid now. Shit, my parents will eat me alive!"

"It doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks!" I said back, shouting at the top of my lungs and tears of angers streamed down, "It's just about us and the baby we created."

"I'm sorry," he said, his tone lowered, "But, I just wish this had never happened. It's going to change everything."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry if this baby will make life harder for you. Oh, poor Edward, who never had to work a day in his life. Grow up! It's time to face the real world!" I screamed.

"See, exactly what my parents said! You don't understand me at all! You just sit and mock me! Well, I'm sorry that your dad barely acknowledges you and your mother ran out on you, but that doesn't give you the right to harass me for all that I've known. You don't get anything about my life and sometimes, I don't know," he yelled.

"Oh, so then, you're saying that we should have never gotten involved in the first place?" I said back.

"I don't know, maybe I am, because then we wouldn't have to go through all of this shit!" he screamed.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm just making your cheery life a little more miserable. I'm glad to know that our connection meant so little to you," I said walking away.

"Where are you going?" he yelled to me.

"Home!" I said whipping my head around, "To figure out what the fuck to do with my life! It already is enough of a train wreck and I need to figure out how to stop it from spinning out of control!'

"Well, fine then, whatever," he mumbled, turning away and walking back into his cozy house, his cozy world. In that moment, I had lost all respect for Edward Cullen. I was fooling myself all along. He was nothing but like the rest of them—a self centered pig.

I got home and quickly packed my bags. I was 18 and legally free to go. Edward wanted nothing to do with this baby, he made that pretty clear to me, and I wasn't about to sacrifice a life just to be with him. I would raise my baby all on my own, without help from him. I got a flight that night to go to New York City. The only words I got from my dad were to call him when I made it there safely. I figured that would be one of the last times I would ever really speak to him. He wouldn't trouble himself trying to keep a relation with me and I wouldn't try either. I had disappointed him too many times.

_Edward's Point of View_

_I stood on the steps to my house and watched as she drove the bright red truck away. _She would be back_, I thought to myself. We loved each other too much. She could never leave me for good, and I her. Our love was something real and passionate; it would never fade. She would come back tomorrow so we could figure this whole thing out. She would get the abortion so we could go on living our lives, going to school in the fall, just as we had planned. It would be like nothing happened and I wouldn't even have to tell my parents the truth. I watched as she drove away, the tears coming down her face, but I wasn't worried. I'd see her tomorrow. She always came back. She saved me and I saved her. We had a secret connection no one could live up too. She would be back, and we could continue this wonderful dream we had yet to be awakened from…_

Bella's Point of View

The flight to New York was quiet and dark. I watched the stars outside my window and thought of Edward. I cried, but I knew I had to move on, and quickly. I still loved him, more than ever. He was my everything, but he couldn't be a part of my life anymore. I had kidded myself for way too long now. We were too different and it was time to let it go. His parents had been right all along.

I would take care of my baby and love it forever. It would be the only keepsake and memory I would hold of Edward Cullen. He would be forever lost inside me. For a long time, he had proven to me that dreams can come true, but he proved me wrong; all my hopes and dreams of being with him for eternity, died when he pushed me away. Once again, my hopes and dreams faded and I was stuck in a painful reality. I had woken up from my fairy tale for the last time…

I rubbed my hand over my stomach, connecting with my unborn child. "Don't worry," I cooed, looking down to my stomach, "Everything will be fine, you'll see. I promise, I will try as hard as I can to provide a good life for you. I won't let any of my past mistakes affect your life. It will be like starting over. I will always be here for you. I promise you, I will give you as much as I can. I will be to you what I never got. I promise you that, and I love you, my baby."

The plane rocked and the stars shone through the window as I sailed into the new life I would face, alone and afraid, but I would leave the past behind me, forever…

**Okay, so this is the last chapter for the past part, and hoepfully tommorow, I will post the Book Two part. So, please comment and let me know what you think! It helps me know if it is interesting or not!**


	10. BOOK TWOCh9 The Rich and Famous

BOOK TWO: Dreams Die, But Life Goes On

~Chapter 9~

~June 2010~

The newly polished floor cast a glossy glow under the bright lights as the sound of my heels clacked across them. I felt my breaths start to come faster as I hurried down the long hallway, walking as fast as my 2 inch heels would allow. I pulled down my blazer as I went and adjusted my skirt, clip board in hand. I heard the tiny beeper in my hand go off again and my pace began to pick up.

Only a few doors away from the great hall, I stopped to check my appearance in a mirror hanging off the wall. My naturally curly hair was straightened and fell a little below the shoulders. I adjusted the clip sitting in the back of my head that kept the top half of my hair up and the other half down. I brushed my bangs out of my face, so my chocolate eyes could be seen, and I stared back at the 23 yr-old version of myself…

The beeper sounded again and I hurried back down the hall. I had a job to do; my career. I was the event planner and organizer at the L'hotel de Cullen in downtown Manhattan. I had gotten a job at the ritzy hotel when I first came out of college. I had finished a degree in business and a minor degree in party planning in just two years because I loaded up on courses in the summer semester. I graduated from NYU and immediately got a job at the L'hotel de Cullen as a desk clerk. I soon worked my way up to an event planning assistant and to officially the head, 8 months ago. It was pure luck I had gotten that job, being that I was fairly young, but the manager was impressed with my dedication and hard work, so I was offered the job.

Of course, the name of the hotel was one of the things that worried me most. When I was first interviewed, I even asked if the Cullens, the family that owned the chain of 5 star hotels, ever came by. The manager, Rick, a nice man in his 40s who didn't seem to care for money as much as the rest of the rich, told me that the Cullens hardly ever came to one of their hotels. If they did, they would go to the ones overseas. Even if they were staying in New York City, it was highly unlikely they would ever stay in their hotel. His words comforted me and I was able to gather up myself enough and start working at the family's hotel; the hotel of the man that I was once in love with. My manager's words had held true; never once did I have any kind of encounter, face to face or other, with a Cullen at work or anywhere else for that matter. My history with Edward Cullen had stayed tucked away and I intended to keep it that way.

As I came around the corner, I saw the apprehensive smile of my short, spikey haired co-worker waiting for me outside the door to the great dining hall where most of the hotel's events took place.

"What do we have, Alice?"I asked to her as I got close. She handed me a folder full of tons of paper work and pages of design patterns that I began to flip through.

"Ms. Tanya Claudet," replied Alice in her bell chime voice, "She's a famous model and her father is a billionare. She's starting her own line of designer clothing and is having a convention to honor the grand opening of it." She rolled her eyes at the word 'billionare', signaling to me that we had a pure diva on our hand. Alice was my assistant in the event planning part of the hotel, and like me, she had come from more of a middle class background. We were both amazing designers and decorators, but when it came to the rich, we fell flat. All in all, we were a perfect team.

"Well this will be fun," I said to her sarcastically, smiling.

"Oh yes, it's a shame you had to come and interrupt our meeting, we were having such a marvelous time," she replied back, sarcasm running heavy.

I laughed and yanked open the door to the great hall, and we strutted in, adjusting our blazers and skirts as we went, trying to look as professional as possible. A small crowd of the hotel employees were gathered in the middle of the wide open floor in the circular room, showing pieces of fabric and decorations to a tall woman in the center. Her back was facing us as we strolled in and her long strawberry blonde hair flowed down her butt.

She turned when she heard the clacking of our heels down the tiny stairs. I noticed her sparkling blue eyes that caught the glimmer of lights from the chandelier above her. Her pink lips against her fair skin gave her an essence of innocence. She was dressed quite simply, wearing only a pink sundress that went off the shoulder and a pair of strappy sandals. She held her tote in hand and wore a vain expression upon her flawless face. Tanya Claudet was the picture of billionaire heiress.

"I hope you are finding everything to your liking, Ms. Claudet," I said smiling brightly at her, holding out my hand for her to shake it.

Instead, she completely ignored by welcoming gesture and said unhappy, "They don't have the right colors."

"I'm so sorry," I said taking my hand away and still smiling brightly, "It was our mistake. Tell me, what colors did you want? I have your portfolio here of some samples."

She huffed, crossing her arms over her slim figure, "I wanted a light rose pink and champagne, but instead, they gave me pale pink and this ugly cream color!"

"Oh well, that can be easily fixed," I stated cheerfully, trying to brighten up her mood. I dealt with rich divas every day, and they were all the same; stuck up in their ways and looking down upon the rest of us who tried to help them. "I will have new samples drawn up immediately of napkins, and tablecloths, and what not," I finished and Alice ran to my side, taking back the portfolio and hurriedly writing down what Tanya wanted. "Now," I began again, looking into her unhappy face, "Would you like to discuss table settings?"

"No," she retorted back, and I was taken aback at her frustration with me. "I have other things to attend to and you were late."

"My apologies," I stammered, "I had several other meetings today and I was busy."

"Well so am I," she rubbed into my face and I glanced to the side to see Alice smirk and roll her eyes. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "You think this is funny that my party will not be ready?"

"Of course not," I said back reassuringly, "I just had a little cough, that's all."

"Whatever, I must go," she said back in hostility, pushing me as she made her way up the stairs to leave the ball room. "I will be back with my boyfriend tomorrow. He was not able to come today. I suggest you get me the right colors by tomorrow at 10 am, sharp!" she finished with a last nasty look, and turned on her heel to storm out of the ballroom.

"Of course," I called back to the leaving figure of the rich beauty. "Well that went well," I said turning back to Alice.

She smiled and nodded her head, "We better get those samples ready or she'll have our heads on chopping blocks for sure. God only knows what her boyfriend is like. He must be pretty big and strong to put up with that witch. We don't want him after us."

"No, we wouldn't want that," I laughed back to her.

**Sorry this chapter was kinda short. I had it with the next one, but it seemed to long with it. Keep reading though, it gets better! comment please!**


	11. Hopelessly Devoted To You

~10~

I sat at my desk in my tiny office for event planning at the L'hotel de Cullen. I was busy worrying about wedding receptions, conferences, business meetings, shows, and above all, Ms. Claudet's party. _So much to do in so little time_, I thought.

I glanced up at the clock hanging from the wall and saw it read four. I sighed, thinking of how I was supposed to get out to go pick up my daughter. I picked up the phone on my desk and dialed the numbers of my current savior in life.

"Don't kill me," I said into the phone once the familiar voice said hello.

"Why would I kill you Bells?" chuckled the merry voice of my best friend, Jacob, on the other line.

"I'm so sorry, but I'm swamped at work again. Can you please pick up Leila for me? I'll never make it out in time," I sighed to him.

"Of course, I'm happy to, but didn't you promise you would take her out tonight?" he asked.

"I know, and I will. Just go get her and come meet me at the hotel. I promise, I'll be done by the time you both get here," I pleaded to him.

"Okay, see ya then Bells," he mumbled hanging up.

"Thanks, Jake," I finished.~

~I handed a stack of papers, with thousands of phone numbers, to the desk clerk and turned to see my two favorite people in the world pushing open the spinning doors to the hotel.

"Hi, Mommy," I heard my sweet little angel call to me once she came into the hotel. She bounded for my arms and I knelt down to open them up for her. The pink sundress waved behind her as she ran in her matching pink sandals. I caught her in my arms, hugging the tiny brown-haired girl close to me.

"Hi sweetheart," I cooed into her cheek, "I'm so sorry I couldn't come pick you up from school today. I was stuck with work."

"S'okay, Mommy, I raced with Jacob," she answered back sweetly, tugging at her two little braids that sat against her neck. I looked into her bright green eyes and smiled at her.

"You did," I exclaimed, "Who won?"

"I did!" she screamed excited.

"Oh, good!" I said back to her excited, "Now, are you ready to go get your Build-a-Bear because you've been such a good girl."

"Yes!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"Okay, let's go," I said leading her toward the door, Jacob following right behind us....~

~The hot summer air blew through my hair and the smell of New York City streets mixed in with the scents of the humid air. I looked down to the little girl holding my hand. She skipped along the NYC sidewalk next to me, holding on to a Build-a-Bear box that contained her new bear. Her braids bobbed up and down as she went along.

"You know Bells, I really think you should get out there more," the booming voice of Jacob said, walking right beside me.

"And what is that supposed to mean," I asked cautiously.

"I think you should, you know, get to meet more people," he said back, shrugging it off like it was such a natural conversation, but turns out, it was one for me and Jacob. He was always encouraging me to go out more.

"You mean like date?" I questioned.

"Sure, if you wanna call it that," he smiled to me. Jacob had been my best friend for a while now. I had met him when I was still pregnant with Leila. He found me pregnant and alone, crying in a subway station. I found out, that he had been a close friend of mine from elementary school before he moved to New York City when his dad got offered a job there. Ever since we were reunited, the tall, muscular and dark-haired man had been my best friend. He was there with me for the birth of my daughter, helped babysit, and even shared an apartment with my daughter and I, just to help us out financially. He was truly a great friend to me, and he loved my daughter more than anything. He would do anything for both of us and I was grateful to him more than anything.

"Jacob, I don't date," I replied back to him kindly.

"Why not? I mean for God's sakes Bella you're only 23 and you're still looking as hot and sexy as ever!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, and look who's talking; look who else is also riding the singles wagon," I teased him.

"Hey, at least I try," he retorted and I knew he was right. I hadn't been on one date, but I didn't really care. I had caught the eyes of many men in the five years since I left Forks, but it never amounted to even one date. "You don't even care," he finished.

"Jacob, I don't care. I'm a single mother and my daughter means more than anything to me. I'm already busy enough with her and my job. I can't manage anymore, nor do I want to," I said truthfully.

"Okay, whatever you say," he sighed, "But I know you're not happy. You won't be happy until you find someone to love. I know you Bella, and you need someone, whether you realize it or not." ~

~I stared at the sleeping child tucked under the covers as I turned the lights off in the tiny bedroom. She was so peaceful and innocent and that was how her life should always be like. I promised her before she was born that I would give her the best life possible, and I was dedicated to that. I closed her door and tip-toed down the short hall to my bedroom. We lived in a three bedroom apartment; each of us had our own bedrooms and there was also a tiny living room and kitchen.

I shrugged my shoulders out of my blazer and turned to look at myself in the mirror. The room was dark and my chocolate brown eyes were hidden in the night. Over the years, I had changed a great deal physically. I no longer resembled the 18 year old I left behind in Forks; I looked healthier. My sallow cheeks were full and bruises no longer covered my skin. My body no longer looked run down from all of my emotional struggles and I was starting to get better. I had a successful career, a best friend who was always there for me, and most importantly, a daughter that was my life.

I smiled to myself in the mirror and noticed that it was a real smile, unlike the fake ones I used to put on back when I was a teenager to make it seem like everything was okay, even though it wasn't. This time around, everything _was_ okay. Through the happiness though, I detected something else in my eyes. I might have been a successful, happy, and healthy person, but there was also a tad bit of emptiness there too. I had never fully recovered from Edward. He was still in my dreams and I often wished I would see him again, but I knew hoping would get me nowhere. I had a living reminder of him and all the memories every day. As each day came, my daughter resembled him more than ever, especially with the same green eyes. I felt the tears start to bud again and my smile fade as I thought of his eyes smiling down on me.

I pushed my thoughts of Edward away. After all, after I left he had never bothered to find me. He knew where'd I'd be. He knew I was attending NYU. He was from a rich and influential family, was it really so hard to get a list from admissions of all the students attending? I knew he didn't care about me, but the emptiness he left me with was still there. He left me with the happiness of the miracle we created, but he also left me empty, wishing and waiting for him to come back, dreaming of him to take me in his arms again forever, always hoping…

**Comment Please! Edward will be coming in soon!**


	12. Found

~11~

_Beep, beep, beep_, the sound of my beeper bellowed as I ran down the hallway. It was just another ordinary day at the L'hotel de Cullen. I was running around as usual to different meetings with clients, to the kitchen, to the front desk, to the hotel accountant, and to many more of the faculty staff. All in a day's work!

It was 2 minutes to 10 am, the part of the day I was dreading the most. It was another meeting with the famous Ms. Tanya Claudet. If I didn't hurry to the ballroom, I would be late once again and Tanya would be serving my head on a silver platter for her stupid party.

I adjusted my black skirt and purple blouse before I ran into the ballroom. I checked my watch and saw it read 9:59. I leaned back on the closed door and breathed a sigh of relief, catching my breath before I descended down the open steps. Alice started up the 5 steps to meet me at the top, a fake smile plastered all over her face. It was clients like these that made us hate our job.

"You're on time," she mumbled to me under her breath.

"I ran," I huffed out, holding my side. I was out of shape and didn't have time to go to a gym, so my little run had left me winded.

"I can tell," she chuckled at me, smirking, "Here, catch your breath before we go down. She can wait."

"She's already here?" I gasped.

"Of course," Alice replied sarcastically, "She's been here for nearly 15 minutes and we've had people catering to her for nearly that long."

I started going down the stairs toward the clump of people in the middle, "We better go then," I hurried out to her.

The setup in the center of the floor looked the same as the day before. Everyone was clumped around Ms. Claudet, showing her thousands of samples, hopefully this time in the right color. I strode toward the group with Alice on my heels and I saw the beautiful model nodding her head to one of the employees showing her a set of napkins.

"She approves of the colors," mumbled a short man next to me. I looked down to see Dennis, one of the hotel decorators holding a bunch of different colored fabrics.

"Good," I sighed, "I stayed awake all night figuring out a color palette for her."

"Well, good job then Bella," smiled Dennis walking back to the group around Tanya.

I turned toward Alice at my side, "What else do we have to do?" We stood next to the tiny group around Tanya, but not directly with them. While Alice prattled on about what we had left, I watched Tanya's face as she talked to the crowd surrounding her. She seemed to be pleased with everything as she nodded to everyone holding decorations in front of her. I felt all the butterflies in my stomach and my anxiety disappear at the sight of her enjoying all of our hard work.

I turned back to look at Alice, who stood staring at her clipboard, still running off the millions we had to do. As I stared at her and listened to her words come out fast, I felt someone's eyes on me. I didn't turn to look, but I had the feeling that someone in the crowd behind me was staring at me, watching me very closely. It made me feel uneasy and anxious again, but I didn't care enough to turn and look. It was probably just one of Tanya's rich friends staring at something unimportant in my appearance, like a piece of lint on my skirt or a stray hair that came out of my bun; something that would deem to them my true identity and show I was a filthy poor slob. Obviously, I didn't care enough to bother turning around and ask what their problem was.

"Ah, there you are," I heard Tanya's clear voice beam and I turned to see her smiling face looking at mine, her blue eyes sparkling. Alice had stopped her string of chatter and I walked forward to meet Tanya, a fake smile on my face.

"Yes, so sorry I was late again," I apologized, "I had to make sure that the kitchen staff would be ready at 10:30 so you could choose your dishes."

"Oh, it's quite alright, I was early," she said oddly cheerful. It was such a change in attitude from the ferocious woman I met yesterday. "I just wanted to thank you for all of your hard work. I love my colors! They're gorgeous and they will go perfect with the line of clothes I intend to show," she finished.

"Great," I exclaimed, overjoyed that she appreciated my work.

She smiled back at me, white teeth glittering in the golden lights. "Oh," she exclaimed as if forgetting something, "I wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend." I smiled and noticed for the first time, the tall male figure standing behind her, but I didn't study him closely at all. He was simply just a shadow standing next to this glamorous girl. "Hunny," she cooed up to him, "This is…Oh, I'm sorry, you've never told me your name."

I chuckled a bit at her pout, "Isabella Swan, but feel free to call me Bella."

"Oh, yes," she said sweetly looking back up to the brooding tall man behind her, "Hunny, this is Bella, the most magnificent event planner I know." I smiled and felt my cheeks go red at her praise. I often was embarrassed when I was highly praised or drawn attention to, a quality I had possessed all through my life. "Bella," she said to me, "This is my boyfriend Edward Cullen."

At first the name didn't register, and I stood there smiling and nodding my head like an idiot, until I made the mistake of looking up into the face of the man who had hurt me so many years ago. It took me a minute for my mind to recognize him; he looked completely different from the last time I had seen him and from what I saw in my memories. It was weird seeing this familiar face again, and I didn't like what it did to me. It made me feel found, no longer lost inside.

His hair was cut much shorter, but still had the same messy flair to it. He was much taller and his muscles bigger. He wore a gaping expression. It was completely blank, his mouth hanging open, that I couldn't see any emotions in him. _Was he happy or upset to see me? _Of course, one of the things I picked up almost immediately was his glowing green eyes, the same eyes I saw everyday in my daughter.

It was completely silent for a few seconds, as we stood expressionless, staring at one another. I felt the tension in everyone around me. Thankfully, my trance was interrupted by the ring of my cell phone. I quickly turned my head downwards and broke our stare, whipping my phone out of my pocket. I felt my cheeks go red and I was more embarrassed than ever. I saw my daughter's day care come up on the caller ID and I turned to Tanya, "I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me, but I have to take this," and ran out of the room as fast as I could, trying not to trip and make a fool out of myself as I went.

"Oh, of course," I vaguely heard Tanya mutter as I ran out of the room, but it didn't affect me. Suddenly, my job and why I was even at the hotel in that moment didn't matter to me; all that mattered was that I had just come face to face with the boy I had loved so many years ago, the boy who had helped me through me struggles, the boy whose hurt he inflicted still haunted me, and above all, the boy who had given me my miracle child. I ran out of the room panicking, not knowing what on earth to do about Edward Cullen…

**Please comment and let me know what you think!**


	13. Lost Again

~12~

_Edward's POV_

_My eyes circled the great big ball room at the L'hotel de Cullen. It was funny that I was part owner of the hotels and yet I had never been in this one. I gazed around, admiring all the work people put into these hotels to make my family look good. _

_I felt a yawn come on as more and more hotel employees came up to show Tanya more samples and pieces of decorations and flowers and every little thing. I had no idea why she dragged me here. It was such a bore, especially so early in the morning, and to be honest, I wasn't so into this stuff. I would have much rather been sleeping in her apartment, waiting for her to return home. Of course that didn't happen. Instead, she practically begged me to come with her and here I stood._

_I took a quick glance down at my watch. It was just 10 o'clock. I sighed, _this event planner lady should be here by now so we can get the hell out of here_, I thought. I heard the door open to the ballroom, and saw the short employee with spiky black hair leave our crowd and hurry to the figure that just came in through the door. My daze continued to wander as they made their way up to where the girl who just left was standing, at the top of the steps._

_I fixed my eyes on her and the girl she was chatting and smiling easily too. The woman next to her seemed familiar, but she was at a great distance away and her body was facing her employee that I couldn't see her face. However, as she began to make her way down the stairs, I knew instantly who it was._

_My first instinct was to run to her and throw my arms around and kiss her passionately as ever, but a soft hand that came to rest on mine brought my emotions back down to earth. I couldn't believe it. I was staring at Bella Swan, the one true love of my life and the woman who left me without any warning five years ago. _

_I had dated many women after Bella, but Tanya was my most serious. We had been together for almost two years, but our relationship was nowhere near as close and passionate as me and Bella's._

_I stared as this woman whose gravitational force pulled me to her in that instant, as she chatted easily with her fellow co-workers. I looked up and down her slim figure and appearance. She had changed much over the years. First, she had a completely new sense of presence and style. Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of her neck and bangs were swooped to the side to show off her gleaming chocolate eyes. She no longer wore her hair long and curly and her clothing was more professional than the usual T-shirt and jeans she wore as the teenager I knew. Indeed, her physical appearance had changed much, but there was something else there that I couldn't exactly pinpoint that was different._

_I studied her harder, my breaths coming fast and my heart pounding harder, wanting more than ever to reach out and touch her soft skin. As she turned to face Tanya and speak to her, it finally hit me what was so different about her. The overall presence inside her was different. She wasn't the same lost girl who hid herself to the world. She was open and happy. There was no sign of confusion in her or suffering. She must have been financially stable and she was obviously a lot happier in this new life. Overall, she was emotionally, physically, and mentally stable and healthier, which led me to believe, did our relationship not have the effect on her if she seemed to be coping better through the years?_

_It didn't seem to cross her mind that I was right there, and I was about to say something to her, when Tanya had already done it for me. I hadn't been paying any attention to Tanya, who stood pressed up against my chest, cooing meaningless things to me. I noticed as finally, Bella's eyes came up and locked with mine._

_For a second, it didn't seem to hit her, this realization that I was only a few feet away from her after five years apart. She still stood there smiling, but I noticed as the smile sank until her expression mirrored mine. We were both beside ourselves that we were seeing each other once again. I stared at her, refusing to let her eyes go, and I felt all of our passions fly back to me. Suddenly, the hand that still held mine didn't feel like anything to me but a handcuff holding me back from my true feelings. I saw as all the memories of Bella and I came to my head; when I first looked into her eyes, when I saved her from Tom, our first kiss, the day I told her I loved her, and the first time we made love. They all shot at me and enlightened my body like a blazing torch. After five years, my feelings for Bella Swan still remained unchanged among the many aspects of my life that had changed. _

_A ring of a cell phone echoed through the great hall and I turned to look around to see whose it was, but when I turned back, I saw that Bella had lost my stare and was now bending down over her cell phone, cheeks bright red, just as I remembered them. I smiled at the many memories of her being embarrassed over the littlest things. _

"_I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me, but I have to take this," she chimed, her voice and whole body shaking as she ran out of the hall. I felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach as I watched her go. I wanted her to come back so I could gaze into her eyes again and take her soft, warm hand in mine…_

"_Well, hunny, let's look at these until she comes back," said Tanya and I stared down, completely disorientated. _

"_Uh, sure," I said, not very enthusiastic at all._

_She turned and gave me a nasty look, but I didn't care. It didn't really matter to me if she was mad at me or not, all I wanted was to go find Bella. I was just about to make a break for it and claim to be on a bathroom break when I heard the door close and I looked up to see Bella's spiky-haired friend making her way down the stairs. My ears and eyes were alert for any sign of Bella, but she wasn't anywhere in sight._

_The short young woman made her way over to where Tanya was standing and muttered, "I'm so sorry, Ms. Swan had an emergency to attend to, so she had to leave immediately. She wished to send you her deepest apologies and regrets, but hopes you can continue this meeting tomorrow or whenever you are free."My heart sank even lower at the thought of Bella not returning. _

"_Of course, I will be back tomorrow, should I make an appointment now?"Tanya muttered, a hint of disgust rising in her voice._

"_Yes," chimed the little spiky-haired girl, "How about in the afternoon at 2? That's Bella's only available spot."_

"_Yes, that's fine," huffed Tanya and she turned away from the young woman to look at me._

"_I swear, I will never get this party done with Bella Swan as my event planner. She always some kind of excuse as to why she can't be here exactly when I need her," she said, angry. _

"_She's busy," I answered back, with not much of any emotion at all._

"_Oh, I'm sure," said Tanya, turning back to the other hotel employees. I stood frozen in the same spot, my eyes plastered on the door to the ballroom, wishing more than ever that Bella would just stroll in and say it was all a joke, that she didn't really have to leave. I couldn't believe it, I lost her again; I had let her go. The girl I still loved, more than anything in the world, more than life itself, had just walked out of my life again and I wasn't sure if I would ever see the pretty little angel again…_

**_Please comment! Will post more soon! Thanks for reading! I hope you like it!_**


	14. Back Down to Earth

~13~

I felt myself sail back down to earth and my mind become clear when I heard Sharon, Leila's preschool teacher, on the phone.

"You're daughter is very sick and pale and has a fever of 101," I heard her say on the other line. Of course, that was my wake up call.

Alice had rushed out of the ballroom after to me to make sure I was okay because I was acting so strange, but I sent her back with a message to pardon my absence. My daughter needed me more than any clients in the world. She had no one else to take care of her and I had no choice but to get out of work.

I figured I would be back to work the next day or two, but I was out for the rest of the week. Leila had apparently caught a virus from her classmates which made her sick with a fever for a few days. I gave her as much children's Motrin and Tylenol as I could, but I had no choice but to skip work in order to stay home and take care of her.

Of course, that meant I would have to miss seeing Edward, but I convinced myself it was for the best. I decided to put Alice in charge of the rest of Tanya's party because obviously I would not be able to do it myself. The change in plans for Tanya's party let me know that I would probably not see Edward again. The party was next week and by the time I got back to work, he probably would have gone back to wherever he was living nowadays; although, whether I was upset or not about it, I wasn't sure.

I wanted to believe that I didn't need Edward anymore, that I didn't love him anymore, but the truth was, ever since I had found him again, a new feeling of hope aroused inside of me and I wanted to find him in the big city and tell him how sorry I was for leaving those many years ago.

Then I thought of Tanya and the way she cooed up to him. He had clearly moved on. He had found someone else to be close with and fall in love with. He didn't need someone like me anymore and I didn't need him. I couldn't get involved with him again, I wouldn't let myself. He would completely disrupt my life, the life I had worked so hard to build for myself and my daughter. I couldn't let my daughter's or my life fall apart thanks to the useless hopes and dreams of Edward Cullen. I would never do that to my child.

Finally, by the next Monday, Leila was feeling better and her fever had gone down. I loved my daughter, but after spending days locked in my apartment with only her and Jacob for company, I started to feel a little anxious to get back to work. I walked to the hotel excited to be back in my element and also relieved that I wasn't about to let Edward Cullen interrupt or distract me from my work.

As soon as I got to my small office, I saw Alice sitting there with bunches of magazines and pictures of designer clothes everywhere.

"What's all this?" I asked cautiously.

"You're back!" she shouted to me as she turned around to the door in which I stood. She threw down the magazines in her hand and ran over to give me one of her great big hugs. "How's Leila?" she asked worriedly, leaning away from me. Alice had been close with Leila as well. I had met Alice in college, when Leila was only an infant, and she had often babysat for me when I had classes. She was like a second mother to Leila and she adored her.

"She's fine," I smiled back to her, "It was a little rough getting her back to school though. She cried and said she wanted to stay home with Mommy, but eventually I coerced her enough into going."

"Oh good. It must have been a long week for the both of you," Alice replied cheerfully, going back to her stacks of magazines.

"Oh yes, it was," I said putting my bag down on the desk, "But you still haven't told me, what's all this stuff?"

"For Tanya," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "She wants a display case of magazines and models with her clothing to show how 'fashion inspired this evening will be'."

I laughed at her tone of disgust for Tanya. She really hated that girl. I felt sorry with leaving her the whole party to plan for her, but I would pay her back and help her in any way I could. "Sounds like you're having a great time with her," I laughed.

"The grandest," she said back sarcastically. "Listen," she started serious again, "I have a meeting with her in 15 minutes so I have to run. Would you mind just dropping these magazines off in the ballroom for me? I have to go meet her in the kitchen to talk with the chef and finalized the menu and it will be a hassle to carry all this stuff there."

"Sure thing," I said cheerfully, saluting her as she stormed out of the room, carrying stacks of folders, papers flying out of them everywhere. _Poor Alice_, I thought, she was so insane and her work style and organization skills reflected that.

After getting a cup of coffee, I made my way up to the ballroom, carrying stacks of magazines and pictures of beautiful models. I didn't go through the main halls, for fear of meeting up with Edward. I didn't know if he came with Tanya on anymore of her party planning meetings and I wouldn't dare ask Alice. She would suspect something right off the bat. She was very perceptive.

I crept down the hall leading to ballroom, and when I got to it, I slowly opened the door, making sure the coast was clear. The ballroom was completely empty, except for a few tables set up, and my way down the steps to set down the magazines, breathing a sigh of relief that I had not gotten caught by Edward Cullen.

I began arranging the magazines on one of the glass tables that was set up in the large room. A candlestick was sitting in the middle of the table and I was arranging the magazines, I accidentally shoved it off the table. I watched as it shattered into a million tiny glass pieces.

_Crap_, I thought, _only me_. I was about to leave the ballroom to go find a broom to pick up the broken glass when I heard the door open and saw three figures stride through it. Alice led the group, prattling off facts with a fake smile, Tanya behind her nodding and shaking her head, and a male in the rear that made my heart jump and my breaths stop.

I panicked and crawled under the table, hoping they wouldn't catch me. _He can't see me, I'll just stay hidden under here till they leave,_ I thought to myself.

"Bella, what on earth are you doing?" I heard Alice exclaim to me from across the room.

I carefully lifted myself from under the table, keeping my eyes to the ground and my cheeks turned red as I felt Edward's stare on me. "Oh, I was just picking up the broken glass," I stuttered, my voice squeaking.

"Well, use a broom, you'll get cut!" Alice said, staring at me like I was an entirely new person. I sure felt like one.

"Right, I'll go get it now," I said shyly, hurrying out of the room, eyes on my shoes. Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught everyone's weird faces and Edward's eyes that wouldn't leave my face. I fought as hard as I could to ignore them and get out as quickly as possible. I would never go get the broom and I would lock myself in my office until they were gone.

Once I was safely in the hall, I felt myself breathe again and my cheeks return to their normal color. I leaned against the wall, a little ways down from the ballroom door, and put my face over my eyes, trying to regain myself. I hated the way he made me feel like such an idiot. I felt like a love struck teenager again.

I was just about to keep making my way to my office when I felt someone's eyes from behind me pierce through my soul. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Bella," I heard the familiar voice speak softly. I hadn't heard it in five years but it was still the sweetest sound in the world.

I shakily turned to see Edward standing in the hall a little ways down, his eyes locked on mine. I watched as a smile spread across his face, making my heart pound through my body, the sound echoing in my ears, and my breathing stop…

**Comment Please! Will post soon!**


	15. It's Over

**Thank you so much to all for reading and for all of your great reviews! It really helps me to know that you're enjoying it! Keep leavin 'em! Will update soon, hopefully later tonight? Follow me on twitter for story updates at .com/xlitlefallrainx (:**

~14~

I felt like I wasn't really living, like I was staring through a glass at someone else's life. I knew I should say something, respond to his smile, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the words to speak or even the muscles to move my mouth or any part of my body.

His smile faded once he realized that I wore a vacant expression, one that would show I was not interested in anything he had to say. We stood there for a long moment, just staring at each other and when he didn't try to say anything else, I reluctantly tore my face from his eyes and turned on my heel.

I started to sulk down the hallway, my whole soul sinking when I didn't hear him object or try to stop me. I shook my head, _he never chased after me before, why would he now?_

"Bella, wait!" I heard him call and I turned back to face him, maybe quicker than I should have. He strolled over to me down the hallway from the ballroom door, his pace at a slight jog, stopping a few feet away from me.

He locked eyes with mine again, but I looked down. I needed to have a clear mind so I could think realistically and not get swept up into a fairy tale with him. I couldn't do that getting lost in his green eyes.

He didn't say anything again and I had to break the silence or we would be stuck there all day. "What do you want Edward," I muttered, my tone verging on anger. I knew it wasn't right to be angry with him, but how else was I going to be able walk away from him if I had all my feelings out on the table for him to use.

He took a deep breath, his eyes full of amazement as he studied me, "I…I…," he stuttered until he looked down to the ground, "I just can't believe I'm seeing you again."

I sighed, "Well, here I stand."

He looked back up to me and I felt strength grow inside me. I had a firm grasp on all of my emotions and I was ready to not let his eyes get to me. "I didn't think I ever would," he mumbled, staring into my soul, full of bewilderment.

"What?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

"See you again," he said earnestly. "I've missed you Bella," he whispered, his eyes still boring into mine, messing up my concentration.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I couldn't let him back into my world. I didn't belong with him and he didn't belong with me. "Don't say that," I mumbled, continuing to shake my head.

A frown replaced the smile he wore. "Why not?" he asked confused.

"Because it's not true," I replied nonchalantly.

His face showed nothing but disbelief at my words. "Yes it is," he said, nodding his head, "Bella, I think about you every day and what happened to you, and to…to us."

I turned my head down to the floor, "You know what happened to us."

Edward looked away for a minute, throwing his hands on his hips. He was frustrated with my attitude with him and he didn't have a clue as to why I was being that way with him. I didn't want the subject of my daughter to come up. I wanted her to stay hidden from him forever.

"Well, then maybe you can enlighten me as to what happened to us, because frankly, I don't know," his voice rose.

"We fell apart," I replied immediately and with no hesitation and the same nonchalant attitude was there. There was no hint of the hurt and grief I really felt.

"But how?" he questioned angry, "One day you're there, telling me how much you love me, and the next, you're gone. I don't get it. What happened?"

This time when I spoke, my true emotions showed through. "Reality," I said looking to the ground for support, my voice full of sadness.

He was unhappy with my answer. He shook his head more and his hands were still placed on his hips. "That didn't have to get in the way," he said.

I shrugged, looking back up to him, "Well it did."

"You shouldn't have left me," he said hurt instead of angry, "You could have at least called or told me it was over. Instead, you left me with a million questions and no answers. It made it seem like you didn't care."

"You know I did," I muttered.

"Did you, because I couldn't tell," he said back coldly.

His comment made me become just as furious as he was. "Well, it didn't seem like you cared at all. You never even bothered to find me," I shouted back, fury etched in every corner of my voice.

"That's 'cause I didn't know where the hell you were," he yelled, even louder, his green eyes bulging with fury.

"Well, it's not too hard to figure out. You knew I would be going to NYU. Your family is rich and powerful; would it really be so hard to convince an admissions officer to tell you all the enrolled freshman?" I screamed back.

"I had no guarantees and I had to focus on my own life too. I couldn't chase you around the globe. My parents were up my nuts about going to Harvard in the fall. How do you think it would have went over if I decided to ditch and find you," he replied back.

"See!" I screamed, "It always leads back to your parents."

"What's so bad about that?" he shouted.

I was full fledged heated and my arms were crossed over my chest and my feet firmly placed on the floor. There was no cowering from him now. "Because you act like everything you do in life has to be for them; like, everything has to meet their approval. That's why we didn't work out. You couldn't handle committing to someone who didn't meet your parents' approval!"

"That's not true!" he yelled, the veins in his temples popping out and his face full of anger, "You don't know anything about my life," he said softer now.

I nodded and replied sarcastically, "You've already proven that to me several times."

He exhaled out loudly in frustration, "Well I don't know what you want me to say."

"There's nothing to say Edward. We're over and let's drop it now before we hurt ourselves even more," I said calmly to him.

He shook his head, "No, I'm not gonna just leave after I've found you. You might have, but I haven't forgotten all they we meant to each other. I'm not leaving yet."

"Fine," I huffed out, "Than I will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do because unlike you, I actually need a job to survive." And with one last glance of anger and frustration, I quickly turned away from Edward and began to briskly walk down the hallway.

I didn't turn around, not even once, and I was very proud of myself. Not even, when he called back to me, "Bella, wait, please!" I had done my life justice and left Edward Cullen standing there, staring after me in the distance. I had succeeded. I had pushed him out of my life again with my hurtful words and anger and I didn't plan on letting my guard down.

Our conversation only made it official. We were over. There was no future for us. I had shoved him away from me and protected my daughter. She would never know her own father and the damage he could inflict on her. I felt the emptiness creep back inside me, but it was worth it. He never brought up the real reason that caused me to leave and I was grateful for that. It meant my daughter was safe from him.

I had once dreamed of sharing a life with Edward, but now, those hopes were gone. He killed them with every word he spoke. I would never relent to my heart's desires. I had done right and walked away from my past to look into the future, despite the constant aches and cries from my heart and soul. They might still love and need Edward, but my mind was smarter than that. It was useless following your heart's desires; I had learned that a long time ago and was determined to stay away from that philosophy for the rest of my life…


	16. DejaVu

**Yeah, so this chapter is kind of long. And already this story is longer than all my other ones, but I decided on the ending and I hope you all will like it! There's still gonna be quite a few more chapters tilll then so bare with me! Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy ti! Keep up those awesome comments! (:**

~15~

My plan was working. I had not caved in to Edward's wishes yet and secretly my own that I kept locked up in my heart. I was no longer the silly teenager who needed a false sense of reality to help her through life. No, now I realized what life really was and I had to live practically, which meant, no Edward.

I had seen him yet again in the hotel, but this time I was prepared for it. Alice had asked me to help out more with Tanya's party, and I was more than willing. After all, I was the one who got her into the mess so now it was time to help her out.

Edward had come with Tanya again to her next meeting and the one after. I didn't know why he came. It wasn't like it was his party. I figured he hadn't gotten the message that I didn't want to waste my time on him. That, or Tanya was a very pushy and dependent young lady who for some reason beyond me, needed Edward there.

It didn't matter either way why he came, for I ignored him the whole time. I never looked in his direction once and tried to smile as happily as I could to prove that I was surviving fine without him. He, on the other hand, kept staring at me the whole time. It made me a little uneasy but I didn't blush under his gaze. It was uncomfortable to have his eyes locked on my every movement, but at the same time, it made my happiness swell. It showed he still cared for me.

The next meeting on Wednesday, however, he took the same initiative as I did and ignored me the whole time. He treated me like Tanya treated all of the hotel staff—like we were their servants. He laughed menacingly with Tanya and smiled a nasty smile at me to show he was having a great time with the new love of his life. It made me unnerved and I was so close to slapping his face to wake him up from his little game.

I couldn't help but let out at a scream once I got back to my office.

"AHHHHH!" I shouted, throwing my clipboard onto the desk. Why were things with him so difficult?

"I know," Alice echoed behind me and shutting the door, "This party is getting to be insane!"

"You're telling me!" I yelled back. I leaned forward on the desk, closing my eyes. The anger was bubbling inside me and I was about to broil over.

"Alright calm down," Alice said putting her hand on my shoulder, "That's it. We need a night out. Call Jacob now and tell him he's babysitting tonight."

"No, I can't do that, Alice," I said calmly, shaking my head.

"Yes you can," she pleaded, "You were there for Leila all last week. You need a break from home and from work. Come on, we haven't gone out for drinks in months."

"Okay fine," I sighed reluctantly, "One drink."

"Yes!" she cheered, "We'll go right after work so you can be home in time to tuck Leila in for bed."

She kissed my cheek and then hurried off to wherever her next destination would be. She was a true friend to me, and for that, I was grateful. She sometimes understood me better than I understood myself. She knew my priorities and responsibilities and she was willing to cooperate with me so I could fulfill all of those.

The air was filled with smoke and the smell of liquor. I sat at the counter of one of Alice and I's favorite bars in New York City. It was where we came often to escape the pressures of work and home. It wasn't in one of the best areas of NYC and therefore, didn't attract the nicest people. But, it was still a place where we could come to try to find some calmness and be ourselves.

"And what can I get for you, Ms. Swan?" asked Sam, the owner and bartender of the bar.

"Oh, just a beer," I said back smiling.

"Yes ma'me," he chuckled back, "Say where's your little spiky-haired friend tonight? You flying solo?"

"No," I laughed back, "She'll be here in a few minutes. She had to drop some things off at her apartment first."

"Good, I hate to see a lady drinking alone," he chuckled, serving me my beer, "Enjoy."

"Thanks," I said as he walked away to serve some tables.

I took a sip of my beer and felt the coolness swish down my throat. I was already starting to feel calmer and my nerves loosen up as the tension faded away. I heard the sound of someone sitting down on the stool next to me and I turned to see a big, strong man with dark eyes and hair in his late 20s holding a drink and leering at me.

"Hello there," he said smiling evilly. He looked slummy with his white T-shirt covered in grease stains and dirt and he smelled of heavy smoke and liquor.

"Hello," I said back cautiously.

"It's not too often someone all dressed up as you comes into this place," he said back still grinning.

I looked down and saw that I was still in my work clothes although my blazer was off revealing a pale pink blouse that was slightly see-through. _Great_, I thought, _I'm dressed like a hooker_.

"Yeah," I nodded back to the mysterious guy, "I work as an event planner at a hotel."

"Which one?" he asked curiously.

I didn't think I should tell him. He might hunt me down. I didn't trust this man. Oh, where was Alice!

"L'hotel de Cullen," I said instantly. He would notice if I hesitated and there was nothing else at the top of my head.

"That's a nice one," he said back, "So what's a pretty little rich thing like you doing in a bar like this?"

"I'm not really rich, I just work at a ritzy hotel," I said back, "And, I'm meeting someone." I didn't want to say it was someone as innocent and little as Alice. Maybe he would think it was my boyfriend or something and leave me alone.

"Well, they're late," he leered, leaning closer to me, "Which means, I'll have to keep you company until they arrive."

"Oh, I couldn't let you do that," my voice shook. I was nervous and I didn't know how to get rid of him, "You probably have better people to spend your time with, let alone little old me." I tried to throw in a sincere smile, but it came out decrepit and pathetic.

"No, I'd much rather stay here," he said, leaning even closer and putting a hand on my arm, "Say what's your name my pretty little rich girl?"

I was doomed. This guy was becoming possessive of me and I wanted to shove my arm away from him but the big strong hand that locked it in place terrified me. "Bella," I said, my voice squeaking from nervousness. It was no use giving him another name. I had no other options at the top of my head and I couldn't think clearly to figure one out.

He laughed, "A pretty name to fit a pretty girl." He reached up to stroke my cheek and I leaned farther away, but his big hand was still there. I thought of my daughter. I wanted to get home to her more than ever. Who would take care of her without me?

"Get your filthy hands off of her," I heard someone growl behind me.

I looked up to see Edward standing there, furious as ever and gritting his teeth.

The mysterious man next to me took his hand off of my face but left the one on my arm. He clenched it even harder in his fist. "Who are you to tell me what to do," said the man next to me.

"Just get your hands off of her," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"Or what?" the man jeered.

"Or I'll do it for you," Edward roared, and with that, he yanked the man's arm off of mine and punched him in the face, knocking him off of his bar stool and onto the floor.

Edward stood in front of me, in a protective stance. I felt a sense of déjà-vu and remembered a similar moment when I was a teenager and Edward saved me from Tom.

"Hey, guys, cool it!" Sam said running over and standing in between Edward and the man crippled on the floor, "I'll call the police on both of ya!"

"Sorry," Edward muttered.

"What's going on?" Sam asked to Edward.

"That son of a bitch punched me!" the mysterious man screamed from the floor, his hand over his eye.

"He was taking advantage of Bella," Edward interjected angrily.

"Alright, that's enough!" Sam's voice boomed, "No one takes advantage of women in my bar, so Paul, get out of here or I'll have the police do it for ya."

The man on the floor, apparently named Paul, walked out of the bar, scowling at me and Edward, holding a hand over his eye.

"You alright, Bella?" Sam turned to ask me once Paul was gone.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks Sam," I said and turned back to the counter to have another swig of my beer.

Edward still stood over me. "You're sure you're alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you," I replied back softly.

Edward nodded and took the stool next to me.

"So, you're stalking me now?" I asked him.

"What?" he replied, confused.

"Well, you're rich. Out of all the places in NYC, why on earth, would you come to a rundown bar in a bad section of NYC?" I said.

"I just saved your ass," he said roughly, "Why should it matter why I'm here in the first place."

"I know, and I'm grateful," I said, "But it just doesn't seem right."

"Well if it really concerns you," he started, "I come here whenever I'm in New York. It allows me to escape the confusion and stress in my life and just enjoy the simpleness of this place."

"So you're saying that life in a place where people are barely making enough to live is simple?" I asked.

"Here we go again," he muttered rubbing his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"All you do is drone on to me how I don't understand other people's lives and how hard they are. Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't," he replied.

"Of course you don't. You're just so self-centered and selfish. You're just like your little girlfriend," I said.

"I am nothing like Tanya," he said back. His voice rose and I sensed I hit a nerve.

"Oh yeah, well you sure acted like her today," I replied.

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, "That's just 'cause you make me so mad," he said furiously and he had to look away from me, "You act like nothing ever happened between us."

"That's because it's better if we live like that," I said back calmly.

"And why is that?" he asked. I could tell I was really pissing him off and I somewhat enjoyed it. It was fun knowing I had that kind of control over someone. But, it also bothered me how much he could piss me off and how much control he had over my emotions. It was just a constant battle between us.

"Bella, I'm so sorry it took me so long," I heard Alice say apologetically as she rushed over to me. "Edward what are you doing here?" Alice asked confused and looking to him.

"Simply, just having an uncomplicated drink," he said sarcastically.

"Oh well, that's awfully nice of you to keep Bella company while I took so long," she said.

"It was my pleasure," he replied, sarcasm running heavy again, "But now I have to run. It was nice seeing you again Bella and you as well Alice. You might want to tell your friend to be careful as to whom she chooses as company." And without another word, Edward walked away, as furious with me as I was with him.

Alice looked at him leave worriedly and turned to me, "What's that supposed to mean."

"Nothing," I shrugged and taking another sip of my drink.

Alice ordered a beer for herself and then turned to me, "So, I couldn't help but notice, but it seems as if Edward and you have been acquainted with one another before."

I sighed, "Yeah, we went to school together when we were teenagers."

"Oh, you mean that prep school you went to?" she asked.

"Yeah," I sighed, taking another sip to calm me. It had been a long night and I really wasn't in the mood to talk with Alice anymore. I just wanted to go home and hug my daughter goodnight.

"I'm curious though," Alice started again, and I knew what was coming. Alice was too perceptive and I knew she could pick out everything between Edward and I. "It seems as if you guys were more than friends," she finished.

I know I had no way out of lying to her so I sighed and replied, "Yes, for a few months only."

She nodded and before she could say anything else, my cell phone rang. The caller ID said Jacob and I felt my motherly instincts kick back in.

"Hello," I said hurriedly to him.

"Hey Bells, don't panic, but—"

"What is it, Jacob?" I asked worried.

"Leila has a slight fever and she said her throat hurts. I gave her some of that Motrin stuff and she just went to sleep. Now, don't worry about it, I have it taken care of. You can stay out as long as you want," he said.

"No, I'm coming home now," I snapped back at him.

"Okay, but you really don't have to," he sighed.

"Jacob, my baby needs me and I'm coming," I said, hanging up on him before he could object. I turned back to Alice. "I'm sorry, but Leila is sick again, I'll have to leave you," I apologized to her.

"It's fine, tell her I hope she feels better. We'll catch up tomorrow," she said, "Let me know if you won't be coming to work in the morning."

"I will, thanks Alice," I called back to her as I ran out of the bar. My daughter needed me and everything else from that night disappeared. My mind had been a little fogged up before, but now it was back in order. Nothing else in my life mattered except the well-being of my daughter.


	17. Time Is Unchanging

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~16~

Leila was sick again. It seemed as if the virus she had just didn't want to go away. I came home from the bar, smelling of liquor and cigarette smoke. Jacob was up on the couch watching TV, bouncing Leila on his knee.

"I thought she was sleeping," I whispered to him, as I took my daughter up into my open arms.

"She just woke up. I didn't know what to do so I just brought her out here until you got home," he whispered back.

I nodded and looked into the pale face of my daughter. "What's a matter baby?" I cooed to her.

"My throat," she moaned. I noticed her puffy red eyes that showed exhaustion and pain.

"Come on, let's go take a look at it," I said to her.

She struggled to open her mouth as wide as she could and when she did, I shone a flashlight down it. The golden light revealed her swollen, red tonsils with patches of white bacteria on them.

I had no choice but to skip work the next day. She couldn't go to school with a throat infection and I couldn't make Jacob stay home with her. She had no one else, so reluctantly I stayed home on Thursday and took her to the pediatrician.

They confirmed that she had strep throat and prescribed antibiotics. She had to remain out of school at least until next Wednesday and I didn't know how I was going to be able to miss that much work. Thankfully, Jacob said he had no problem missing a day or two with her next week and was more grateful than ever to my friend.

Friday night was the night of Tanya's party. Unfortunately, Alice had enlisted me to come and help her. Jacob got home early from work to watch Leila so I could go and help Alice set up for Tanya's party and stay there the rest of the night. It was going to be a night of torture.

"Oh thank god you're here!" Alice shouted to me when I walked into the ballroom at 3 to find her running around all over the place. The party wasn't until 7, but we were required to attend it to make sure everything flowed smoothly. It was hotel policy.

With the rest of the hotel staff, we set up the several round glass tables on the floor with ten chairs at each. A model cat walk was placed on the far walk and was lined with mannequins to show off a selection of the outfits Tanya created. Golden strands of lights were strung around the giant room and paisley pink ribbons were placed everywhere.

At 5:30, the room was set up and Alice and I had to run and get changed into our own dresses for the party. She had put on a sleek black strapless cocktail dress that highlighted the curves in her figure while I wore a dark blue halter that brought out my chocolate eyes.

Tanya had arrived at 6:30 to make sure her party was set up as planned. Her long silk champagne dress work wonders on her body and her long strawberry blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a fancy bun full of twists and braids. She looked as beautiful as ever and the one who would catch everyone's eyes tonight.

Once the party started and guests continued to arrive, I was still running around making sure the food was served at the right time and taking care of guest's wishes. Edward was there with Tanya for most of the evening, but he seemed very bored and unsociable. I had caught his eyes several times, but I didn't bother saying anything to him. I was far too busy and it would only result in a screaming match.

Finally, after the desserts were served and speeches made, the evening began to die down a little. Droves of people started to file out, but there were still some that remained. I walked over to the tiny bar in the far corner and sat down, letting out a sigh of relief as Jimmy, the hotel bartender, served me my champagne.

I watched as Alice continued to run around, talking to many of the guests who continued to praise her work. I was proud of her. She made this party unbelievable when I couldn't step in to do it, and she deserved all the credit.

"You look beautiful tonight," a smooth voice said calmly.

I turned to my right to look at the figure where the beautiful voice had come. He stood there in his tux, his eyes sparkling in the golden lights that hung above us.

"Thank you," I mumbled to him.

He came and sat down next to me, ordering himself a glass of champagne. "You threw an amazing party," he said to me, his voice still calm, "The ballroom looks amazing and all of the guests were very impressed."

With a shrug, I answered back kindly, "Alice deserves most of the credit."

"She couldn't have done it without you," he replied back.

I nodded my head and continued to stare at the rest of the party and all of the happy, smiling people. My eyes were glued on Tanya and her glorious features. This whole night was her moment to shine and she had done it well.

"Well this is a change," Edward said, bringing my eyes back to him and the bar we sat at.

"What is?" I asked skeptically staring into his eyes.

He chuckled and added, "For once, you're not yelling at me."

"I wouldn't press your luck," I replied back with a chuckle.

He looked down and smiled, his pearly white teeth shining. "Okay, I'll refrain from saying anything too harsh."

I nodded, "Yes, I think that would be best. But honestly," I continued, "It's just the fact that we are in the middle of a classic ritzy party that I am not yelling at you. I wouldn't want to make a fool out of myself by yelling at Edward Cullen. Who knows what would happen. I would probably get arrested." My tone had not risen or fallen at all, but the sarcasm buried deep inside it made his smile turn down.

"You always have to have some kind of a dig at my lifestyle, don't you?" he sighed, looking away and I could tell that my comment severely hurt him. He must have really thought that he was making progress with me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, feeling guilty about my last comment and wishing I could take it back, "Really, I am grateful to you for saving me last night. I'm sorry I didn't give you much appreciation last night. I was just so wound up at you for the way you acted that day. I'm truly grateful to you. I don't know what might have happened if you hadn't been there."

"I don't like to think about that," he muttered sadly, "I was terrified when I saw you in that bar and him touching you like that. It was like Tom all over again."

I sighed, "That's what I thought too."

It was silent for a minute or two while we both looked out on the rest of the party. I heard him clear his throat and finally said, "I'm sorry too."

"For what?" I asked calmly, looking up to him.

"For the way I've acted to you this whole time," he replied.

"S'okay," I mumbled and I noticed it made him chuckle. "What?" I asked.

"The old Bella used to say that all the time. I didn't think this new Bella was insecure about life at all," he said chuckling.

I laughed too and grinned, "You're right. I used to say that all the time and I may have changed, but the foundations of the same girl are still inside me."

He nodded his head, "You have changed a lot." I nodded back to him and he brought his green eyes to mine. I saw the same sprints of honey in them under the dimming lights. "I think that's why I've acted the way I have," he continued, "I was so overwhelmed by the fact of seeing you again that I didn't understand that you were a completely different person. You built a new life for yourself and I thought I could just waltz right back into it and things would be the same as 5 years ago. It made me so angry when you shut me out, but it wasn't until last night that I realized you wanted nothing to do with me. For that, I am truly sorry."

"And yet, here you stand?" I said, confused. He said realized I wanted nothing to do with him, and yet, he was back again, trying to wedge himself deeper into my soul.

He covered his face with his hands and whispered, "I know it's not an excuse, but I just had to talk to you tonight; to make sure you wanted me gone, but…" He looked up from his hands and into my eyes. "Say the word and I'll leave…for good," he whispered.

As much as I should have said it, the words could not form or even spill out of my mouth. Instead, I sat there and whispered, "I shouldn't have treated you like that. I ignored you and I should have just come out and say it."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked again.

I looked up into his green eyes, the eyes that were drawing me so nearer to him every second. I couldn't comprehend Edward leaving me and never coming back, but yet, he had to. My mind and sense of practicality were far gone and my heart was now controlling me and it made the words slip out of my mouth before I had time to contemplate, "No."

He nodded and for the rest of the night we talked on. Our past didn't come up at all. Our conversations only involved laughs and a few too many drinks to give me a false sense of reality. Finally, at 11:00, everyone had left and Tanya wandered over to where we were sitting.

"You can go home now, if you'd like sweetheart," she cooed to him. I sat there watching them, feeling like 'the other women' although we had done nothing except innocently talk. "A few old friends invited me to a few drinks downtown so I'll be home late. You can come if you want, but I know you'd much rather go home," she finished.

I watched Edward nod his head, his eyes not on the beauty in his wake, but on me. "Thanks, I think I'll head out now," he said sweetly to her.

"Okay, goodnight," she said, taking his face to passionately kiss him on the lips before she went.

When she was gone, Edward turned back to me and said, "Can I walk you home?"

Flashing red lights and warning signals went off in my head; home, Leila, our daughter. He still did not know about her and I still was firmly against telling him. He would be gone soon anyway. This party was over with and he had no other reasons to stick around NYC. Life would be back to normal tomorrow.

"No, I can walk myself, but thanks," I said replied.

"I can't let you walk home by yourself this late at night," he answered, "Please, at least let me give you a ride there. I have my limo."

_Of course he did_, I thought. My feet were tired and my body unsteady as I got off my chair at the bar. The walk would do me good, but I couldn't help but want to take him up on his offer.

"I suppose," I answered back reluctantly.

"Good," he smiled, "I'll call them and tell them to bring it around."

"This is mine," I said nervously. We were standing in the hallway, outside the door to my apartment. Edward insisted on walking me upstairs to make sure I got in safely, and now here we stood. I prayed that Leila was quietly in bed and Jacob was nowhere in sight so I wouldn't have any explaining to do.

I searched my purse for my key, but it was nowhere in sight. Great, I forgot it. I waited a few minutes to see if Edward would leave so I could bang on the door to get Jacob to open it, but he didn't budge.

"Well, I had a nice time tonight," I said to him, smiling.

He smiled back to me, "Me too. It was nice having a conversation without you yelling at me for once."

I laughed, "Well, let's not get too used to it." He chuckled and I knew he wouldn't leave till I was inside. "I don't have my key," I confessed to him.

"Is that a problem?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes, I can't get inside," I said back. What a doufus, of course it was a problem!

"Oh," he said quietly, "Should I get someone?"

"No," I sighed and reluctantly turned to bang on the door as loudly as I could. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his brow furrow and he was confused as to what I was doing.

A few minutes later, I heard the door unlock and a tall, gruff Jacob who appeared to have just woken up, opened the door and gaped at me.

"I forgot my key," I sighed to him. I couldn't turn to see Edward's face. He would be appalled I was living with Jacob. What would he say? I also knew it was very dangerous standing there with the open door. What if Leila got up? How was I to explain that?

Jacob just stared and started laughing. "What?" I said grumpily.

"Well, first you're home well-past 11," he started, still chuckling, "Then, you forget your key and then you show up with a guy. What's gotten into you Bells? You fall and hit your head or something?"

Apparently, my current situation amused him. I squinted my eyes and gave him a look of death. "Jacob," I grumbled, "Leave."

"Alright," he said throwing his hands up and walking back inside, leaving the door somewhat ajar.

I turned back to Edward whose face was full of confusion and anger. "He's my roommate," I said to him calmly.

Edward just nodded, not a sound escaped his lips. "I should go inside," I replied.

"Yeah," he finally said shallowly, "I should go too. It was nice seeing you again Bella. I'll see you around," he finished and started off down the hall.

"Bye," I called to him and rushed inside shutting the door behind me. I leaned against the door and bowed my head. _What just happened?_ I wondered.

All I knew was that emptiness started creep back up again, leaving me all alone in the darkness of my apartment. Although there were two people I loved most with me in the same apartment, it was one of the loneliest times. I knew it was because my heart was becoming too much acquainted with Edward Cullen again. He would be gone from NYC in the morning for sure and I didn't have a promise of whether I would ever see him again.

I sat in my bedroom, in the darkness, hugging my knees to my chest. I tried to remain strong for myself and for the little girl in the next room over who was still suffering from strep throat. I betrayed her and myself and let a tear slip out. I was angry with Edward and myself. I might never see him again and I did nothing to let him back into my life. I still cared deeply for him and yet all I did while he was there was shut him out. I let out my choked sobs as I thought of his face, his smile, and his eyes.

Five years later, I was still crying over Edward Cullen. Five years later, he still had the same affect on me. Five years later, and I still wanted a life with him. Five years later, and I still loved him more than ever…


	18. New Light

**Wow, so three chapters posted in one day, not too bad! Hope you keep on reading and enjoying! Thanks so much! Keep up the reviews!**

~17~

~July 2010~

I had gotten more energy and strength when I woke up in the morning to the sun shining outside my window. It was time to move on again; past Edward Cullen and the love we shared. I would never see him again and in time, all my feelings for him would pass. I promised myself then that I would never shed another tear for Edward Cullen again.

The next week, I took Monday and Tuesday off to stay with my daughter. She was pretty much over the strep, but she wasn't allowed back in school until Wednesday. I thought my boss would kill me if I took another day off, but he didn't give me a hard time. He understood how hard it was for me to be a single mother.

It was also impossible to get caught up thinking about Edward because I was on to yet another event for the hotel. This one was a little bit out of my league. This one was being hosted by a professor at an art school in NYC and I was to transform the ballroom into an art gallery to showcase amateur paintings of New York City. With this, the professor wanted the whole ballroom decorated like Central Park. How I was supposed to do that, I didn't have a clue.

So, on Wednesday, the first day my daughter went back to school, I found myself strolling through Central Park to get some ideas before I went to work. It was the beginning of July and a hot and humid day that it was. I simply just walked on the sidewalks admiring the trees and flowers in bloom everywhere. I sat on a bench, studying my surroundings. It was quite peaceful and very therapeutic. It took my mind off everything, even though I was supposed to be thinking about work.

I watched all of the little kids run by me, pulling their parents along with them, and imagined Leila with me here. I had taken her to Central Park only once. It was a great distance away from our apartment and we had to walk most places. I decided that I would take her here one afternoon and just have fun. Maybe help her to ride a bike or just simply walk under the great big trees. It seemed as if I never had enough time to spend with my daughter. Was I being a true mother to her? I knew I was doing better than my mother, but still, I wasn't sure if I was being all that I could to her?

I thought he was a figment of my imagination when he ran past, but as of lately, he wasn't. He seemed to not notice me as he jogged past, but he hurriedly turned around, to jog over to me, frozen on the bench. He had interrupted my daydreams and now was standing in front of me.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Edward asked me curiously. Sweat poured from his face and his eyes scrutinized my face. I hadn't expected to see him again, and yet here was, standing in front of me again.

"I am," I replied. He raised his eyebrow as if to say, _Really? _"I have to design the ballroom into Central Park," I clarified.

He chuckled, "Sounds like a joy."

"Oh it is," I smiled back at him. He took a seat next to me on the bench, but move too close to me. I was glad he respected my space. I needed room to think. "What about you. What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Well, pretty much what it looks like, jogging," he said cheerfully. It must make him so happy that we were getting along for once.

"No, I mean here in New York," I started, "Aren't you supposed to be back by now?"

"Back where?" he questioned.

I gulped, "I don't know, wherever you live."

"I live in lots of different places," he replied jokingly.

"Why aren't you gone then? Tanya's party is over, you have no other reason to stick around," I said.

"Gee, I didn't know you wanted me gone so badly," he teased.

"I didn't say that," I said.

"I know," he said with a chuckle, "Actually, I have business meetings here."

I thought about that. What kind of business did he do? I had no idea what his profession was. Did he have one?

"For what?" I asked.

"The hotel of course," he replied as if it was the obvious.

"Doesn't your dad take care of that?" I asked.

He looked at me and sighed. "Come on, come for a walk with me," he said.

I shook my head. "I can't, I have to get to work," I replied quickly.

"That can wait," he started, "Come on, we have some things to catch up on."

He stood up off the bench and bent down to pick my hand up. It was the first time he had touched me since I was a teenager. My mind wasn't ready for it and it went on overload when his hand brushed mine. Fantasies soared through my head and magic pulsed through me, messing with my mind, that I let him sweep me up to my feet.

As soon as I was off the bench though, he let my hand slip away from his. He could tell it was making it hard to think, let alone breathe, with his touch.

"So," he started as we began walking the sidewalks under the blinding warm sun, "You asked why I'm in charge of the hotel meetings and not my dad?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"Well, that is because my dad has put me in charge of it. I'm kind of like his representative I guess you could say. I fly all over the place to meet with managers of the hotels and discuss business with them," he said with a smile.

"So, what kind of business brought you to New York aside from Tanya's party," I asked.

He thought for a moment before he answered, "Remodeling, new editions, and investments, I guess you could say."

"Sounds like fun," I muttered.

"You have no idea," he added sarcastically. We walked in silence for a few moments until he looked back to me and said, "So, I told you what I do, now what exactly do you do?"

"You know what I do," I replied.

"Still, it would be nice to hear it from you," he smiled. His genuine smile and cheerful mood worked wonders on my own mood and soul. He made it impossible not to smile and laugh with him.

I sighed, "Well, I am an event planner and organizer for your hotel. I plan and design weddings, receptions, parties, conferences, shows, seminars, you name it."

"Sounds like fun," he joked.

"It can be," I assured him, "Don't get me wrong, I love my job. It's just sometimes, it gets to be too much or the people are hard to work with—"

"Like Tanya," he interjected, teasingly.

"Well, yeah," I agreed, "I mean, sometimes they treat you like a dog or like you're their servant and mean nothing. They don't understand all the time and hard work you put into it."

"That must be hard for you," he said with concern.

"It is, but I've accepted it and learned to move on," I said.

He nodded his head and for a few minutes we walked more in silence. It was quiet out except for the sounds of birds chirping, the wind rustling the trees and bushes, and the sound of kids running past and bikers riding by.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Edward asked quietly and a little unsure, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I probably don't deserve an answer, but I still am curious."

I shrugged and replied back, "I guess."

"Okay, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but," he began, "What happened to you after you left?"

I hesitated. _Oh gee, I don't know, had your baby,_ I thought to myself. It was probably the perfect time to tell him he had a kid, but I just couldn't do it. "Um, I don't know," I answered.

"It's okay," he assured me, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Like I said, I probably have no right to know, but could you tell me this, what was up with that guy in your room on Friday night?"

I was thankful he didn't pressure me into answering. I had no intention to tell him all about how much I struggled through life when I moved away from Forks. I laughed at the thought of the awkward moment when Jacob opened the door to come face to face with Edward and I.

"What?" he asked when I laughed.

"I was just thinking about how funny and awkward it was when Jacob opened the door. You should have seen your face," I choked out through my laughs. I was laughing so hard that I had to hold my stomach and eventually, he started laughing along with me.

Once I caught my breath and was able to sound coherent, I answered his question, "Jacob is my best friend. He is also my roommate which is why you saw him in my apartment," I started, "I've known him since I was like 6, but he moved away when we were around 8 and I hadn't seen him or talked to him since then. But one night, when I was in a subway station, he found me crying and we talked a bit and remembered each other from long ago and picked up where we left off in our friendship." He nodded his head, seeming to carefully consider each and every word, and I continued, "He's helped my financially many times and with other things," I mumbled thinking of Leila, "And even now, we share rent. He's been a really true friend to me."

Edward smiled and looked down to me, "Well, I'm glad you've found someone you can really count on."

"Thanks," I said, "I don't know how I would have made it here if I didn't have the help and support from Jacob and Alice." He nodded his head and it was my turn then to question him. "So, what's been going these past five years?"

He laughed, "Oh where to begin."

"The beginning?" I suggested.

He nodded, putting his hand on his hips, seeming to carefully consider what to tell and what not to. "Well," he began, "I realized you were gone the next morning. I called you and your dad answered. He said you left, but he didn't tell me where. I tried to persuade him into telling me, but he wouldn't. So, that's why I didn't come look for you. I didn't know where you'd have gone. Believe me, I wanted to, but I think I was delusional and figured you would come to me on your own. I waited for you to come knock on my door every day, but by the time it was time for me to go to Harvard, I realized I had wasted time sitting and waiting and you were long gone."

"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about that before," I mumbled softly.

"It's okay. I probably should have looked harder for you anyway. But, moving on," he continued, "I attended Harvard for four years and got a degree in business, planning on taking over for my father, and what do you know, as soon as I was out, I started working for him right away."

"Does he pay you?" I asked curiously.

"Yes he pays me," he laughed, "I bought my own summer house in Long Island. I go there quite frequently when I can, but mostly, I'm living with my parents back in Forks when I'm not traveling."

"So you still live there?" I questioned.

"More or less," he said back, smiling, "So, now you're probably wondering about Tanya."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I said.

He shrugged his shoulders and answered, "No, I think I owe you some sort of explanation." I nodded my head and took a deep breath to tell his tale, "I met her about two years ago when I was still at Harvard. They were throwing a big party for alumni and her father was one. He had brought her with him and I was there with my father. Our dads were acquaintances and we just sort of hit it off ever since then."

"Sounds like some kind of a fairy tale," I mumbled.

"Not really," he sighed, "Our relationship has been fun. We've had a lot of great times together and met a lot of amazing people through one another, but it was never very serious and there's been something missing. I'm just starting to realize that our relationship really isn't all that it appears to be."

I looked up to his eyes that were smiling down on me. My heart was yearning to be close to him, to show up Tanya and take her place. I couldn't let these things get to my head though. I was starting to see him in a new light and understand him more, but I still couldn't be with him. His world was one that I would never know.

"I have to get to work," I said breaking our silence.

He nodded his head and asked, "Would you like me to give you a ride?"

I shook my head. "No, the walk is good for me. I'll see you later," I said and hurriedly walked away before he could convince me of otherwise. It was time to leave my fairy tale and get back to real life.


	19. Crashing Down

**Okay, so you'll kind of see after this chapter where the story is going to go. I hope you like this chapter! I'm kind of nervous as to what people will think of it, but yeah there's still more to develop but I hope you keep reading! Thanks so much! Comment and let me know what you think! (:**

~18~

I continued to struggle through my work days, running around trying to get everything prepared for the art gallery in Central Park exhibit. After hours of wracking our brains, Alice and I decided to put trees all around, with garland surrounding the walls, and flowers in bloom everywhere. We also decided to get a mock pond with coy fish and have a tiny bridge next to it on the far side of the wall. All in all, the art professor was proud and we were excited to get it done.

Leila had been over the strep throat, but she still sometimes woke up in the morning with head colds but no fever. I still had to send her to school though. I had missed too many days already. I was concerned with her constant sickness, especially because it was the summer time, but I figured it was because of all the days she spent with other young children at preschool.

Over the next couple weeks, I tried not to think about Edward at all, but he had his ways of creeping up into my mind, especially when I saw him so frequently. He was at the hotel for his meetings with the managers almost every day. I would often see him in the hall and get swept up talking to him for a while, making me late for all of my meetings with clients. After I scolded him for it, he became accustomed to coming into my office where he would watch me work and prattle on about random things. I enjoyed having his company, but our conversations were never more than friendly. Even when he invited me to dinner and lunch a few times at the hotel restaurant, we still kept our true feelings restrained and simply laughed and talked together like mature adults and long lost friends.

Alice, however, started to become suspicious of our relationship. She had always walked into our office while we were talking and was informed on our meetings throughout the day and our lunch and dinner dates. She never confronted me about it, probably hoping I would tell her, but one day she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Okay, I've got to know!" she screeched at me from across our office. Edward had just left for one of his meetings and I saw the suspicious glances she would cast him.

"What?" I asked, pretending I had no idea what she was talking about when I really was aware.

"What's going on with you and Edward Cullen? Are you like having a secret affair with him?" she questioned, still shouting at me.

I laughed at her silliness. "No," I started through my chuckles, "We just simply enjoy each other's company."

"I think it's more than that!" she yelled.

"Well, it's not," I said with a shrug.

"Bella, I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. Do not stand here and tell me you feel nothing for Mr. Edward Cullen," she said kindly to me. Her voice was no longer shouting and had taken on a worrisome tone.

"Alice, please," I begged from her, walking back to my desk to flip through papers. I tried to keep myself busy so as to avoid this discussion.

"Remember in the bar a few weeks back?" she asked me, "You told me you knew each other from years ago. You said you were just friends and I asked if you were more, but you never answered me. Now, I've respected your privacy, but now it's interfering with work and I'm itching to know. There is no doubt in my mind that you loved Edward Cullen then and you still love him now."

I sighed, "Alice, please, I don't want to talk about it."

"Please," she begged from me, "What happened? Why are you guys still in love with each other if it happened so many years ago?"

She was relentless. She would never give up until she had an answer and I gave up in frustration. "Yes, Alice!" I shouted to her, "We were in love then and still are now, but that doesn't matter, I can't be with him."

"So, you're just going to sneak around with him?" she questioned.

"No," I said fiercely, "We are not sneaking around. We are simply acting as friends. He will go back to Washington in a week and then things will be over and done with."

"But that's not what you want," she said to me.

"It is, Alice!" I shouted, "I can't be with him. It would completely interrupt my entire life."

"So you're afraid of change?" she asked dubiously.

"No," I sighed, "It's just…I have a daughter to consider in this whole mess. He still doesn't know about Leila nor do I want him to."

"But if he really loves you, he wouldn't care that you have a daughter," she said confidently.

"Alice you don't get it," I shouted to her, "I don't want him to know about Leila or vice versa."

"Why not?" she pressed, "I've never seen you happier. You never date anyone and this guy makes you the happiest I've ever seen you except when Leila was born. You deserve him and I think you need to take a leap of fate and go for it."

"I just can't," I sighed to her, staring into her eyes full of confusion.

We stood there a moment, just staring at each other and I could tell she was trying to read what I locked behind me eyes. She was trying to uncover the secret that was buried deep within. Suddenly, realization started to spread across her face and she walked it away from me, holding her hand to her forehead. "He's her father," she whispered softly.

I sighed, closing me eyes to lock my soul inside. "Yes," I sighed in defeat. I should have known Alice would guess. It all added up.

"He doesn't know about her?" she questioned.

"No," I sighed back.

"Did he even know you were pregnant?" she asked.

"Yes," I whispered, "He was so overwhelmed and I don't think he knew what he was saying, but he didn't want the baby and I did. I left that night for New York City and never told him a word of where I was going or even a goodbye."

"And he didn't ask you once about the baby?" she questioned.

"No, he thought I had an abortion. It's what he wanted me to do, but I just couldn't," I said.

She nodded her head silently. "You have to tell him."

"No, Alice, I can't," I pleaded with her.

"Why?" she yelled, "Leila is his kid! He deserves to know about her!"

"It will change everything," I whispered monotone.

"Yes, it will, but it's the right thing to do," she whispered back to me, "Why don't want to tell him?"

I turned my body to look to the wall and away from her pressuring eyes. "He never wanted her," I said louder, "He was the best thing to ever happen to me aside from Leila, but he was also the worst. I got my hopes up for nothing. He trashed my dreams once he realized I was pregnant. He became this evil, selfish person I never recognized before and he didn't care enough to help me or even come look for me. He destroyed my happiness and I don't want him to do that to Leila. One day, he could just, go away. I don't want her living with a parent who looks to her like a burden and then one day disappears. I know what that feels like and I've lived with that everyday of my life. I don't want her to have the same childhood as me. I don't my mistakes to influence hers. I want better for her."

Alice nodded her head and whispered, "I understand your reasons for not telling him, but I think it's better if he knows. I think you should consider it before it's too late."

She walked swiftly out of the office, leaving me alone with my thoughts and all she had said. Would it really be so bad if I told him? It was right, I knew that, but would it be right for my daughter?

I stood there more confused as ever, not sure what to do about Leila or Edward Cullen, but as usual, the phone interrupted my thoughts.

It was Leila's preschool teacher. First, I thought she had a fever again, but instead, she fell of the monkey bars and cut her head on a wire sticking out from one of the bars. I had to rush over to the preschool and take her to the emergency room. It was like one disaster after the other and my life was spinning out of control.

The cut wouldn't stop bleeding even though it wasn't too big. She to get a few stitches and the nurse in the emergency room told me they were going to run a blood test.

"Is everything alright?" I asked her worriedly.

"Yes, I'm sure it's all fine," she said smiling back, "It's just to check and make sure she's healthy."

I nodded and felt reassured and took my little baby home. It was late at night when we finally got home, and I let her sleep in my bed with me. It was so peaceful with her little head resting on my chest. I stroked her cheek to relieve some of the pain from the gash in her head. The night air was warm and moist and her brown curly hair became even more defined in the humidity. I sat in the peaceful darkness, my mind clear of everything and feeling that everything would be okay and turn our right. Unbeknownst to me, it was one of the last nights I would ever sleep soundly and peacefully.

I was in the office the next morning, hurriedly filing papers so I could get to my next meeting. Leila had gone to preschool. She felt better and said she wanted to go and play with her friends. I was looking at the picture of her happy smiling face with me under the Christmas tree from last Christmas when I got the call.

"Ms. Swan?" the voice on the other end questioned. It was a nurse from the hospital and she didn't hold back on saying, "We'd like you to bring Leila in immediately for more blood tests."

"Is there something wrong?" I asked. My heart sped up and I felt my nerves wind up tight.

There was a pause on the other line and I heard the nurse clear her throat and whisper, "Ms. Swan, I'm so sorry, but there it is more than likely that your daughter has leukemia."

My whole heart sank into my stomach and I felt like I needed to throw it up. My daughter, had leukemia, cancer, she might die. I hung up the phone after saying I would bring her in right away. I hurriedly began throwing stuff into my bag and getting ready to leave. I couldn't believe it. It was like I was living someone else's life. _This wasn't happening_, I thought.

Suddenly the shock and numbness were over and I realized what might happen to her. I felt the sobs choke out and I didn't hold back the tears. I needed to get my cries out before I went to go pick her up. I had to be strong for Leila's sake. She couldn't know the dangers she faced.

_Why hadn't I suspected it before?_ I screamed at myself. It all added up—her decrease in immunity, she was always tired, her blood wouldn't clot. It all added up. Why hadn't I suspected it?

I choked out my sobs even harder at my thoughts of my stupidity. I was too consumed in Edward and work that I hadn't noticed how seriously sick my little girl was.

Suddenly, my knees were too weak to hold me anymore and I collapsed to the ground, my sobs choking out even harder. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest was in pain and if I wasn't so concerned with Leila, I would have called 911 and thought for sure I was having a heart attack. What would happen to my little girl?

"Bella," a sweet voice yelled rushing over to me. I let his arms sweep my weak body off the floor like a broken winged bird. I had to get out of there; I had to go find Leila.

"What's wrong?" he said again and I looked up into the worried face of Edward. His green eyes were in pain, the same eyes as Leila. Would hers look like that? Would her green eyes feel pain soon too? Were they already in pain?

"Let me go," I tried to yell to him. I had to get out of there.

"What's wrong?" he shouted again, "You're not leaving until you tell me!"

It was the perfect time to tell him. My daughter, his daughter, our daughter, had cancer. It couldn't be a better time. And suddenly I knew I had to tell him the truth, for Leila's sake. I felt in my heart that she needed him and I would honor that. "My daughter," I choked out a few seconds later.

I looked up into his face which held nothing but confusion. "What?" he whispered, a slight edge to his voice.

"My daughter," I choked out through my tears, "She's sick. She had blood test and it's more than likely she has leukemia."

"What?" he asked, more confused than ever, "You have a daughter?"

I looked down, "She's yours too. She's our daughter."

He didn't say anything, but when I looked up to his eyes, I saw anger and pain etched in everywhere. He got up off the floor from me and I thought to myself, _just like always, he would walk away._ _He would walk away just as life was crashing down on us..._


	20. Breaking The Pattern

**Okay, well, I'm sorry this chapter is kind of short. It didn't really fit with the events follwoing so I just made it it's own chapter. Anyways, keep enjoying and reviewing! Also, I'll try to post as much as possible this week but I'm going to be running around like crazy so I don't know how much I'll get done! Thanks! (:**

~19~

As the retreating figure of Edward headed toward the door, I wanted to scream and lash out at him, but also kick myself for believing he would care. My sobs came out even harder as I watched the angry man leave, and yet again, he seemed like someone I barely even knew.

"How?" he demanded. His angry words cut me to the core. I looked up and Edward had not walked out the door. Instead, he was standing right in front of it and had turned around to look at me, but there was still no guarantee that he would stick around.

"What do you mean how?" I croaked up at him from the floor, "Don't you remember anything? Don't you remember why I left?"

"Of course I do," he shouted back, "but…I didn't think…I didn't know you…I didn't know you wanted to raise the baby. I thought you were going to get an abortion."

"Of course I wanted to raise our baby!" I shouted back, "You were the one who wanted me to have the abortion. Why do you think I left? I was determined to raise her all on my own!"

"And you never bothered to tell me that you raised the baby?" he screamed, pain etched in his voice, "My child has been alive this whole time and you didn't bother to tell me!"

"Why would I?" I continued to yell, my sobs still coming harder and faster, "You acted as if I had ruined your whole life by getting pregnant. You were so angry and upset with me. I didn't want to deal with you. It was easier to raise her by myself."

"I was overwhelmed," he said back, "How did you expect me to react? I was in utter shock, but I thought you would come back so we could discuss it more after we had time to think, but instead you left and I assumed you had it taken care of." I thought I saw a glimmer of a tear in his eye and his voice contained pain and resentment. "But even now," he continued, still hurting, "After this whole time we found our way back to each other again, you never bothered once to tell me you were hiding a child. My child. Our child!"

"I was scared," I whispered. All my energy was gone now. I couldn't deal with him anymore. "I didn't want you a part of her life."

"Why?" he demanded, "Would it be so bad to share a life with me and the child we created."

"I didn't want my past to run her life," I muttered. My crying had ceased, but my tone was still full or pain and grief. "I know you Edward and I know that you're afraid of commitment and you didn't even want a child. I didn't want her to go through what I did; feeling like a burden to your parent and then wake up one morning to find them gone and never look back. It destroyed my life as a child and I wanted better for her."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, bowing his head. "If you just gave me a chance," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," I said, "But I had to do what was best for my child."

"So now what?" he asked, still angry, "Will you let me be a part of your life and our child's?"

"I don't know Edward, but right now that doesn't matter to me," I said. "I have to go and get my daughter and bring her to the hospital so she can have more blood tests. I don't know what I'll do about you, but I'll let you know once I decide."

"That's not fair," he said through gritted teeth, "I want to be a part of my child's life starting now. I have just as much right to her as you do."

"My God Edward!" I screamed, "How can you even think about custody issues right now? Our child might be dying from leukemia and all you care about is staking your claim? Well, you can go to hell!"

"Of course I'm concerned for her healthiness right now," he muttered.

"But you don't even know her!" I screamed, "And there's no time to worry about that now!"

"I want a part in my child's life," he said angrily through clenched teeth; his green eyes pulsing with anger.

"Well, I'm sorry, but you'll just have to wait," I said back, "Because right now, I am leaving to go and help my daughter!"

"Well, I'm coming with you!" he said catching my arm as I made my way to the door.

"No, you're not! You don't even know her! You'll just get her more upset and she's already sick, please, let me go by myself," I pleaded with him, struggling to tear my arm out of his grip.

I saw his expression soften as he nodded his head and let go of my arm. I practically ran out of the office, but before I left, he called to me, "I don't care what you say or think. I will be a part of my child's life and I will take care of her. I won't walk away this time, I promise."

I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but I hoped more than ever, for Leila's sake, that he was sincere and was truly breaking the pattern.


	21. Unite

**Okay, sorry I haven't posted in about a week now. This week has been really crazy for me! Ill try to post more often now, but I'm not guaranteeing anything! Anyways, enjoy! and comment! :)**

~20~

Over the next few days, I tried to be as strong as I could for Leila. When I had gone to pick her up from day care that day the nurse called, I was as cheery as I could be, not showing a single tear or sad grimace. I wanted to go as long as I could without her knowing how sick she was. I didn't want her sickness to run her life. I still wanted her to live her life to the fullest and enjoy all that she could.

Leila had several more blood tests done, but the results hadn't come in yet, although I knew deep down inside me what they would say. It was no use getting my hopes up to see them crash down again in front of my eyes. That would only make the outcome worse.

I decided to let Leila continue to go to school. She didn't seem to be showing any signs of sickness yet and I didn't know how much longer she would have to go to school. I continued to go to work and try to block out the truth that lurked inside me. I wanted to be as distracted as possible, and thankfully, that was very much possible with work.

I took on more tasks and parties to plan, thinking that the more I busied myself, the less I would have to wake up and face the music. Only Alice knew what was really going on, and she was very much concerned.

"For God's sake, you're going to kill yourself!" she screamed at me.

"I'm not," I muttered monotone.

"Bella," she yelled, taking my arm which was hurriedly throwing stuff in a big, "You can't do this to yourself!"

"Do what?" I questioned.

"Exhaust yourself!" she shouted.

"I'm not exhausting myself," I retorted, "I'm just trying to get my mind off things."

"By killing yourself in the process?" she scowled, "Oh yeah, you'll help Leila a whole lot if you're dead!"

"Well, that will be better than my little girl dying!" I screamed back, making Alice shut her mouth and walk out of the room. That was the last time she ever criticized me for working too much.

Edward continued to come to the hotel for his meetings, or maybe at this point, it was just to see me. I would see him walking toward me down the hall and I would hurriedly turn around and walk the other way. It was cruel, but I just didn't want to deal with him and his newfound fatherly instincts to go and claim his daughter.

Finally, one day, he had me trapped. I was in my office, where I barely spent any time as of lately, when I heard the door slam shut. I looked up from my desk to see Edward scowling at me. His hair was a mess and there were bags under his eyes. I could tell that he was restless and under a constant strain.

"Excuse me, I have a meeting to go to," I muttered walking toward the door, but he stood in my way, practically growling at me.

"You're not shutting me out anymore," he mumbled.

"Please, I have work to do," I pleaded, "We can talk later."

"Oh what does that mean? Twenty years from now?" he said sarcastically.

"Please don't do this to me now," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"Make me hate you!" I yelled, "I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I run around all day, I barely sleep at night, my daughter is sick, and I feel like I have thorns coming at me from all sides! I don't want to add your shit to the mix!"

"Bella," he pleaded, "I can help you. We can help each other through this."

"You have nothing to get through!" I yelled, "She might share your DNA, but you don't even know her!"

"And who's to blame for that!" he retorted.

"Look, I'm sorry," I muttered, "But you'll have to pick your custody battles at some other time."

"I want to get to know my daughter," he choked, "before it's…before it's too late."

I sighed and knew I had no other choice but to grant him his wish. It would be a lot less stress in the long run; to not have to carry the burden all on my own.

I let my face fall into my hands and sighed, "I wouldn't even know how to bring you into her life."

"Please, just let me meet her," he pleaded once again, his voice hoarse, "If you decide it's not best for her, than I will abide by your wishes and simply walk away."

I nodded, releasing my hands from my face, and mumbled, "Fine, we can try, but it has to start slowly. I don't want to cause her anymore stress."

He closed his eyes and sighed, whispering "Thank you."

I nodded and walked back over to my desk, picking up the phone. When the familiar cheery voice picked up, I mumbled into the phone, "Jacob, can you pick up Leila from school? I have things to discuss here. I will be along later."

When he hung up, skeptical of my tone and words, I turned back to Edward, "Meet me here at 4. Right now, I have to get back to work, but I want to talk to you more before I bring you to meet Leila."

His lips turned up in a sly smile and he muttered, "I will, thank you."

I simply nodded and walked out of the door to get back to work, worried at how Leila would react to a new male figure in her life.

My hands were shaking as I walked five steps ahead of the man behind me, trying to unlock the door. I paused before opening it, looking up to the face of Edward. I met his green eyes which were full of anxiety. I could only imagine this moment for him. It would be the first time he would ever meet his daughter.

"Please remember what I said," I mumbled to him.

"I know," he whispered back and I hoped to God that he would obey my wishes. We had eaten dinner at one of the hotel restaurants after I was done working and I told him the basics of Leila, how hard I worked to take care of her and her own personality. I also warned him that he was not in any way to mention to her that he was her father. I wanted to bring him into her life slowly. She was only four, and I didn't want to overwhelm her in anyway. She couldn't handle too many things.

I finally got up my nerves and opened the door to the apartment. I walked in first, Edward following close behind me. We walked down the tiny hall way slowly, voices of laughter filling the air, as we got to the living room where Jacob sat tickling Leila on the floor.

"No, Jacob stop," Leila screamed through her laughter.

"Wow Jake, don't kill her," I muttered through laughs at the doorway of the living room. Both Leila and Jacob looked up from the floor to me and Leila bounded for me; her long brown curls bouncing as she ran.

"Mommy!" she yelled cheerfully.

"Hi, sweetie," I cooed, lifting her up into my arms. I side glanced at Edward to see him staring at her in awe. Jacob stood in front of me, curiosity and worry written all over his face.

I put Leila back down to the floor. She seemed to not have noticed Edward or didn't care. She smiled back up to me brightly, her green eyes dazzling. "Hunny," I started sweetly, "I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Edward." I put my hands on her shoulder and turned her to face her father.

She still kept her smile plastered on her face, and when he didn't make any motions or say one word to her, she took it upon herself to say something. "Hi," she said joyfully, still smiling.

Edward continued to stare at her in awe and at last, his face broke out into a smile. "Hi," he muttered back. "It's," he said clearing his throat, "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," she replied politely, a little unsure as to what to do.

"Leila," I said taking initiative, "Why don't you go play with your toys on the floor while I talk to Jacob about something."

"Okay," she said to me and then turned to Edward, "Do you want to color a picture with me?"

Edward stood there aghast, his smile spreading wider across his face and he finally nodded, "Sure."

He slowly followed Leila over to the coffee table where two boxes of crayons and three coloring books littered the surface. "Here," she said handing him a Strawberry Shortcake coloring book, "You can color Strawberry and I'll color Pocahontas."

"Okay," he muttered, crouching down on the floor next to her.

Leila busied herself in her picture, but continued to babble on to him. "Jacob colored Cinderella before. We have coloring contests, and then Mommy decides whose is better. Jacob always loses 'cause he doesn't know how to stay in the lines."

I watched as Leila continued to prattle on and Edward would often throw a meaningful praise at her as he intently listened to her stories. I watched as both of their matching smiles and green eyes lit up the room. I looked at them and I knew that they belonged together.

Jacob stood next to me from the doorway and he quietly whispered to me, "He's her father, right?"

I looked up at him in shock. How could he know?

"I'm not as stupid as I look Bells," he laughed.

I smiled to him and smiled, "Yes, he's her father."

"You're doing the right thing then," he whispered, "She deserves to know her real father."

"I hope you're right," I muttered and suddenly we were interrupted by Leila's cries of excitement. "You finished your picture already?"

Edward laughed to her, "I guess I'm just a fast colorer."

"Mommy look, he finished his picture," Leila cried to me.

Edward continued to laugh and I waltzed over to where they were both sitting on the ground. "Wow, he's even faster than Jacob."

"I know," she cried again.

"Well," I started, "It's time to get ready for bed Leila."

"Okay," she muttered in defeat.

"Say goodbye to Edward," I told her.

"Bye, thanks for coloring with me," she said to him politely.

"Bye," Edward muttered back sadly. I know he didn't want to leave her yet. "It was fun."

As he got up off the floor, Leila shouted to him, "Don't forget your picture!"

"You can keep it," he laughed.

"Okay," she agreed, "You can have mine then." She hurried over to him and stuffed her picture of Pocahontas in his hands.

"Thanks," Edward said smiling down at the picture, "It was nice meeting you. I had fun."

"Bye," she said once more, "Come back and we can have more coloring contests!"

"I will," he laughed again to her. "See you later, Leila."

I walked him down the hallway to the door and he turned to face me. "Thank you Bella." His green eyes were full of joy and excitement and I felt my heart warm up at his thanks.

"You're welcome," I muttered back to him in happiness and he leaned down to throw his arms around me in a loving embrace. My heart sped up and I felt all of the love for him I kept locked in my heart flood through blood stream again. He left with one more smile to me and walked down the hall.

I turned back to the living room where Leila was waiting for me. "Mommy," she started in wonder, "Can he be my friend too?"

What choice did I have anymore? Edward had to be a part of her life. She wanted him and he wanted her. It was time to unite them at last and I felt as though a huge weight was lifted off of me. I wanted things to work out for all of us, and from the dazzling green eyes and smile that lit up the world in front of me, I somehow believed that it would.


	22. Destiny

Okay, I'm SO SORRY guys that it took me like 3 weeks to post another chapter but the last weeks of school are def the busiest! Anyways, I'm out for the summer so I should be updating more regularly. So yeah, this chapter seems a little long, but once I started, I just kept going and I had to force myself to move on to another chapter! But yeah! I'll stop babbling and hopefully you will continue to read and enjoy it! It's not quite to the end yet, but it's getting there! Comment please! I wanna know what you guys thought of this chapter so I know which direction to go in, but I kinda already know! THANKS SO MUCH AGAIN! :)

-Ella xo

~21~

**~August 2010~**

The transition of Edward into my daughter's life was one that was fast, yet, it seemed so right. I still had my doubts about Edward becoming a central part of Leila's life, but just by the look on both of their faces when they were together, made all of my fears disappear for that moment.

For the rest of July and the first few weeks of August, Edward spent almost every day that he could with Leila, although it was still under my supervision. I still wasn't trusting him enough with my whole world, especially in her fragile state.

The tests were positive and there was no denying that she was sick with leukemia. I watched her sleep every night as the tears would stroll down my face, wishing there was something I could do to cure her from this awful fate, but from past experiences, I knew that sometimes in life things were destroyed and sometimes couldn't be fixed.

She started treatment every 2 weeks and the doctors were hopeful that this would help her before it became the worse stage. I tried to send her to school as less as I could, alternating staying home with Jacob. Edward offered to stay with her most days, but I wasn't ready to let him yet. Leila had known Jacob and I her whole life, and she only knew Edward for the past few weeks of it.

From a disease that should be tearing her apart, you would think that Leila would lose most of her energy and the brightness she brought to life, but it seemed as if Leila's body was ready for a fight and she wasn't ready to give up all that made her special. Of course, she would still get tired a lot or have symptoms like headaches and stomach aches, but for the most part, the light inside of her glowed brighter and enlightened her more when Edward was around.

By mid-August, my work was starting to pick up some more as people rushed to plan their last summer parties. Friday was supposed to be the day of the Central Park art gallery and I was very reluctant to go, but as instructed by my manager, I had no choice in the matter.

There were a lot of problems that came with the date of this party—I had nothing to wear, Alice would be out of town visiting her parents so I would have no one to hang with that night or someone to be my support system, and most importantly of all, I had no one to watch Leila. Jacob's boss had picked the wrong of all possible times for him to work on a Friday night.

The distant ringing from my cell phone interrupted my thoughts of who I would trust to take care of my daughter in such short notice. I picked it up with a very faint "Hello."

"What's wrong Bella? You sound stressed," sang the soft, sweet voice of Edward through the phone.

"Well that would because I am," I replied back, a tad annoyed.

"Oh, my mistake," Edward said apologetically, "I was wondering if it would be okay if I could come and see Leila on Friday? I have to fly to Forks on Saturday for a week and I wanted to see her before I left."

I sighed, "I'm sorry Edward, but I have a stupid party to host here on Friday and I really don't know who will be watching Leila."

"You mean you haven't found a babysitter?" he questioned.

"Yes," I sighed, "but I'm working on it."

"Bella," he said pleaded before hesitating for a moment, "Why don't I watch Leila?"

"No," I said, perhaps a little too harsh.

"Why not," he fought back with irritancy coating the sweetness.

"She doesn't know you," I retorted.

"Oh and she'll know a strange baby sitter a lot better?"

"No," I said, about ready to surrender.

"Well then, why not?"

"I'm just afraid," I said quietly.

"Bella, I would never do anything to hurt our daughter," he said seriously.

"I know, I'm just afraid that one day you'll walk out of her life when she was just starting to get close to you," I sighed.

"I love Leila, even though I've only known her for a month, I feel like we have a special connection that I've never had with anyone else," he whispered sincerely and I could hear the love he had for Leila in his voice.

"I know."

"Then please, let me be a father to her," he pleaded once more.

"Fine." I surrendered, hoping that it was the right decision for my little girl.

_Edward's POV_

_A soft pink was airbrushed across the sky as the sun continued to fade, the darkness rising up. The park was filled with the soft whispers of those retreating from the park and the geese squawked through the soft breeze that brought the humid summer air down to a cool night. _

_I looked down to see an angel of heaven at my feet. She leaned her tiny frame over the rail of the tiny bridge that stretched across the river. She reached out for my hand as she dared to step up higher on the railing. I took the soft and lightness of her hand in my rough, strong hand, holding it gently but still firm to hold her back from going over the rail._

_"Be careful Leila," I cooed to her, "You don't want to slip and fall into the water."_

_"But then I can swim with the fish," she answered back cheerfully. Her eyes were bright and specks of honey glinted in the setting sun. The honey was like a raging fire, full of passion and energy. Her eyes mirrored her personality. They were soft and delicate, but yet, bright and full of excitement. I had seen those same colored eyes on a dozen of my family members, but never did they fit someone as well as they did Leila. If there was a name to describe the color they projected to the world, it would Leila. _

_"The water's too cold to go swimming now," I laughed back to her._

_"But the fish are still swimming," she demanded, looking up into my eyes curiously. She seemed to want an explanation from me as to why the fish could still swim but she couldn't._

_"Yes, but that's because they live in the water so they're used to the cold," I explained._

_She nodded her head and continued to look down at the golden fish still swimming around in circles below her. I watched as her expression lifted into a smile full of fascination and wonder. "I wish I was a fish," she whispered into the light air._

_"Oh yeah," I replied curiously, "And why's that?" I stepped closer to her, holding her around the waist so she wouldn't make a jump in an effort to be with the fish below. _

_"Because I would get to swim all day!" she shouted with joy._

_I laughed back at her. She always made me smile. Never in my whole life, did I ever feel more compelled to be happy around someone than with her. She was like a magnet, forcing me to be near her every day, and I couldn't stay away, but I didn't want to. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. _

_I had never thought much of being a father, but after finding out about Leila, I felt as if there was no other purpose in life than for me to be one. It was like I was finally finding my true destiny. After years of being lost in life, being overshadowed by my parents, I had finally found a reason to be alive on this planet. Nothing had ever felt so right in my life than this moment, admiring my daughter and the essence of innocence and life she projected onto everything around her. My destiny was set in stone. There was no going back now. It was my fate to be there for this little life; to help her live and love her just as much as she deserved. _

_The stars began to come out in the vast sky above us. I looked up in awe as they twinkled, sending me messages of hope with them. The stars warmed my insides, making me feel the happiness that was in my life right now, but also the sadness. For once, I could actually see the stars and acknowledge and admire them. They were away from all of the pollution of the city and the chaos it brought for them up there. They had made it out of a rough spot full of dirty clouds and haze, Leila could make it out from under her sickness too._

_I glanced back down to Leila. She was still staring at the fish below, but they had stopped swimming. They sat still in the water, all huddled together. _

_"Are the fish going to sleep?" she asked curiously._

_"Yes, it's getting close to night time now," I answered back sweetly, "Which means, we should probably go to so they can get their sleep."_

_"Okay," she sighed reluctantly. I took her hand in mine to help her off the rail and we started to descend down the bridge. The trees blew over the sidewalks and the lamps began to come on, illuminating our way for us._

_We walked in silence for a few minutes until she whispered softly, "You know why I also want to be a fish?"_

_"Why?" I asked in wonder._

_"Because fishies seem so happy with big families," she whispered a little sad. I squeezed her hand and looked at her bright eyes which seemed to of lost all of their fire for the time being. My mood seemed to echo hers. I felt the sadness creep up into my throat and the pit of my stomach. It was as if our connection was so special that it linked us together. As if we were on unit and my feelings and emotions mirrored hers._

_"Well, you have a great family," I whispered in an effort to lift her spirits, desperate to bring the fire back to her eyes._

_"Yeah but all I have is Mommy," she whispered, "On TV, they always have a grandpa and a grandma. They have cousins and sisters and brothers. My friends in school have big families."_

_"You have Jacob though," I whispered, the lump getting caught in my throat._

_"Yeah, but fishies have a mommy, a brother, a sister, cousins, grandmas and grandpas and Jacobs," she whispered, still sad, "They also have daddies."_

_Her words cut me to the core and the guilt ran through my veins as I thought of all I had done to betray this little life. I ignored the presence of her when she was created and I never bothered to find her. She was suffering everyday for my stupidity and ignorance. If I was there, she would have had a big family, full of cousins and grandparents, but most of all, she would have had the father she deserved, not some low life who abandons her._

_I cleared my throat, looking away from the sad face that carved the heart out of my chest. "Not everyone has daddies," I whispered to the stone sidewalk._

_"Do you?" she asked, looking up to me. Her eyes begged mine to lock with hers, but the pain inside me had still not subsided._

_"Yes," I sighed._

_She looked down again and whimpered, "I never had a Daddy."_

_I nodded, unable to answer. I wanted more than ever to sweep her up into my arms and tell her I was the father she was looking for, but that wouldn't be right. It might cause her to hate me for not being there, it would bring up too many questions, and most of all, upset Bella and maybe her. _

_She took a deep breath and went on to tell me a story, "One time in school, we had to make presents for Father's day. I was the only one without a Daddy, but I made on anyway so I wouldn't be left out. We had to draw a picture of us and our Daddies and make a frame for it. I drew one of me and my pretend Daddy. I hid it under my bed when I got home. I didn't want Mommy to see it."_

_"Why not?" I asked._

_"She would feel bad," she whispered sadly._

_I nodded again, and felt tears come to my eyes. I regretted having to leave tomorrow, but I would come back as soon as I could. I would talk with my father just long enough so I could leave and come back to Leila. I would never leave her again. She was my only love in life, my only reason to live._

_"Edward, what do I call you?" Leila asked curiously, looking up at me. Her eyes were full of the curiousiy and wonder inside her and the honey flames were lit again._

_I hesitated before answering. I wanted more than ever to scream "Daddy" to her, but I knew it wasn't right. I had to do what was best for her. "Anything you want," I shrugged, "Edward I guess."_

_"Oh," she whispered as her expression turned from one of wonder to one of disappointment. The fire in her eyes diminished just as quickly as it had lit. I could not help but feel that she had wanted me to tell her I was her father, but that could have just been my own instincts to help the guilt subside. Maybe she would be disappointed to have me as her father._

_I swept her up into my arms and she curled her head against my chest, closing her eyes. She closed off her innocence to the world; the world had already caused her too much harm, but in the safety of my arms, nothing would get to her. _

_The moon gleamed in the now dark night. The stars shined on above me, not only sending me glimmers of hope, but also of the destiny that I am fulfilling. _

**_ ~Comment & let me know what you thought of this chapter. Did you like the whole relationship with Edward and Leila?~_**


	23. There's A Fine Line Between Love & Hate

~22~

I felt the floor creek beneath my feet as I tiptoed down the hallway of the third floor apartments, trying not to disturb the people sleeping below. It was only 11 o'clock, but yet, the whole building seemed deserted, odd for being in the center of NYC.

I made it to apartment 321 and jiggled the key in the door. Already the warm aromas of home made my insides relax. I silently opened the door and walked into the pitch black apartment. It was completely silent, not even the sound of the air conditioning ran through the place.

I ran my hand along the wall until I found the light switch and flicked it on. The lights cast a glow on the living room and kitchen before me. It was still as neat and organized as I had left it. Nothing was out of place. Not a common thing when my daughter was stuck in this apartment all night or when Jacob came home from work.

Where was everyone? I felt a slight trace of terror race through me and my breath come fast as thoughts of Edward disappearing with my daughter raced through my brain. I rounded the corner of the dark hallway where the three bedrooms were, half expecting a monster to jump out just like a horror movie.

I made my way to Leila's room where the door was slightly ajar. I peeked my head into the black to see a shadow kneeling over her bed. I pushed to the door open further, the dark face looking up at me. It made me jump back startled for a second, but when I saw the familiar emerald eyes glowing in the darkness, all of my instincts of terror and worry subsided.

"She wanted me to stay with her until she fell asleep," Edward admitted into the darkness, his voice nothing but sweet and tranquil.

I folded my arms over my chest and nodded to him. "You could have gone home. Jacob would have kept an eye on her."

"He's not home yet," he whispered back, his voice still in the same tone.

I nodded and turned to walk back out of the room to the kitchen that was still fully lit up. I threw my bag down on the table and took off my jacket to reveal the sleeveless black dress I wore. Why wasn't Jacob home? I felt betrayed by him that he didn't come home to relieve Leila from the presence of Edward all night. She still barely knew her.

Anger started to rage through me, although for what, I didn't exactly know. It was partially at Jacob for not coming home earlier and partially at Edward for all of a sudden taking on the role of "father of the year" when he had done nothing before.

The fury continued to seep through me and I threw open the fridge in disgust to poor myself a glass of wine. Almost instantly, the wine calmed my nerves a bit and I felt them unravel underneath my skin, but the anger was still there.

How dare Edward become the central figure in Leila's life! He had never been around before. What gave him the right to practically take her away from me now? I was her mother; she belonged to me.

I heard the soft sound of the door closing down the hallway and saw Edward come to stand in the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. I stood facing the fridge, afraid to look at him for I was ready to claw those pretty little emerald eyes out.

"Bella?" he whispered softly.

Oh, there he was trying to be the gentle, concerned, kind, Edward Cullen."What?" I asked, disgust etched in every corner of my voice.

I saw him take a step back. It made me trill a little menacing laugh as I thought of how he could sense my distaste for him at the moment.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he whispered.

I nodded as I finished the last drop of wine in my glass. I walked over to put it in the sink and turned to face him at last. "I'm aware of it," I stated, almost in pleasure. He would be gone for a week and he wouldn't be anywhere near Leila.

"Well, I'll be back in a few days," he said and I could see the nervousness behind his voice. Was I really making him that uneasy?

"I thought you're going for a week?" I questioned.

"No, I'm only going to stay a few days. I don't want to leave Leila for that long," he answered softly, nodding his head in reassurance.

I felt the disappointment seep through me. "You don't have to worry. She doesn't need to see you every minute of every day. She won't be mad if you're gone too long, so take your time," I retorted almost a bit too cruelly.

He scowled at me and put his hands on his hips. "I need to be here for her."

"She has me and Jacob. She'll be fine," I said in the same harsh tone.

He shook his head in anger. "Look, I don't know what your problem is—"

"Me? I don't have a problem," I interrupted.

He took a deep, rough breath before continuing, "I love Leila. She's my daughter and whether you want to believe it or not, she needs me in her life."

"She was fine before you came along," I retorted.

"No she wasn't! If you really knew your daughter, you would know that she was ashamed over the fact that she barely has anyone in her life to love her, let alone a father."

"That's not my fault. I had to make the best with what I had for her," I said back bitter. I was getting ready to slap him.

"Yes it is your fault! You never bothered to tell me I had a kid and now I'm stuck carrying around all this guilt for it!" he screamed at me. The sprints of honey in his eyes were lit up like fire, raging through my soul. I felt all of his anger come out onto me with every word that he screamed.

I didn't have anything left in me to say to him nor did I have the energy to fight with him. I turned around to ignore his anger, letting all of mine soak through me. I was madder than I had been in a while and his words cut at me, but I knew that behind that anger, was the guilt I was feeling. He was right. It was my fault, but I wasn't ready to live up to it.

I stared at the fridge in front of me; at the picture of Leila and I on her last birthday, with our happy smiles and bright faces. Leila happier than ever with me by her side, but I knew behind those eyes, was a hint of emptiness. An emptiness that had now been filled since Edward was there. It pained me to know that I had caused that emptiness and it angered me that Edward was right.

"Goodbye Edward," I muttered to him, "Have a nice trip." It was all I could manage to get out and I wished that he would just leave me to wallow in my guilt, but of course, he had no mercy.

"I'm not done," he stated still angry.

"Well I am," I exclaimed through exhaustion.

He seemed to pick up on my loss of energy and had the sense to not push me anymore. "I'm sorry for getting you upset, but I wanted to ask you something which was the whole reason I came out here."

I rolled my eyes. Could he not have any mercy on me for one night? "What," I said monotone, still facing the fridge and the emerald eyes that gave me reassurance.

"I wanted to know if," he paused and took a deep breath, obviously afraid of my reaction, "if I could take Leila to the beach with me for a few days when I get back. I know she would love it and we could stay in the cabin I own on Long Island."

I whipped my head around in fury. "Leila can't go to the beach. She's sick."

"I know, but it would just be for a few days and it's not too far," he fought back, "I want to make her happy."

"She is happy the way things are now," I screeched, "And why don't you just go back to your old life instead of butting into ours. Isn't your girlfriend wondering where you go all the time at night? Better watch out. She might think you're two-timing."

"Oh, stop it Bella!" he screamed, "Stop being angry at me for wanting to be with my daughter. And for your information, not like it's any of your business, I broke up with Tanya weeks ago."

The words shouldn't have bothered me, but I felt my heart swell and the happiness come when he admitted he broke up with Tanya. I pushed that love aside and turned it to anger and bitterness. "Oh when? When you found out you had a daughter? How convenient. I guess you figured she wouldn't accept you with baggage."

The anger only continued to rise in the atmosphere, "Oh, cut the shit Bella! You're not helping anything. Do not refer to our daughter as baggage and I actually broke up with her when I got home from that stupid party of hers you threw at the hotel out of some stupid instinct that we would be able to pick up where we left out."

"You're right, that is stupid," I echoed, but in reality, the butterflies came to my stomach and my cheeks flushed when he admitted to still caring for me.

"Yeah well whatever," he said in defeat, throwing his hands up. He sighed and continued, "I love Leila. She's my daughter and I'm growing closer to her. I just want to something right for her. She's never had any kind of fatherly contact. She's never felt part of a family. I want to give part of that to her. Please, can she come with me to the beach house? I want you to come with us. She'll feel like part of a family if you do. It's what she deserves."

He played the guilt trip with me and I would do anything to make my daughter happy, so I sighed in defeat and said "Fine."

Edward left right after that, only muttering a simple, "I'll see you when I get back," before silently slipping me out of the apartment, leaving me still standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the fridge and a hundred different emotions running through me—anger, worry, defeat, sadness, and a hate that was actually love that made my insides tingle as they used to when I was once the giddy love struck teenager.

**Comment please! Thanks for all the comments you guys have been posting! I really appreciate it!**


	24. Family

~23~

The warm sand soaked in between my toes, the sun beaming down on my bare pale skin. My eyes were closed and my face tilted to the sky, acknowledging the heavens above me. The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore filled my eyes and the sound of laughter rang out.

I awakened myself from my trance and looked back to the open water. I set my sights on the little girl dancing in the waves. She stretched her hand up to Edward, which he firmly grasped as they played a game of jumping over the waves, which was really just jumping into them.

I smiled to myself as I heard her laughter and screams of joy and excitement. This was our third day on the beach and Leila had had a blast. She woke up every morning ready to go out onto the beach and Edward would happily take her. They played all day long, from swimming in the water, to playing in the sand, to simply just strolling down the shores, looking for shells to collect.

I would go with them sometimes, but mostly I let Edward and Leila have their father daughter moments. I got to witness firsthand their special connection, and I now felt guilty for my jealousies and the anger I put onto Edward for it. I realized now that Leila truly needed him. I didn't know what would happen if he left and never came back, but from the look he always gave her, I knew that that would never happen. He loved her too much now to leave her.

Edward and I had been getting along pretty well for the majority of the trip. He would still find ways to irritate me, but it was never anything drastic. After our screaming match at my apartment, I realized that I still did love him and he still loved me, but whether we were ready for a relationship again, I didn't know. Leila was his primary concern as she was mine. It was impossible to focus on us with Leila in her dangerous state nor did I want to. It would be too selfish.

"Mommy, come in the water!" Leila called to me as she and Edward escaped out of the waves.

"Mommy's just gonna watch you guys!" I called back to her as she struggled her way up through the hot sand, her wet bronze hair plastered to her face.

"Please Mommy!" she begged at me, tugging on the end of my shorts, unknowingly batting her eye lashes at me. She was so hard to refuse, but I was really opposed to swimming in the wet and cold.

"Maybe next time," I promised her, praying it would let me off the hook even though I felt a little guilty.

She gave me a little pout with her face and muttered "Okay," sadly that it nearly toward my heart out. I was just about to agree to her demands in defeat when Edward jumped in.

"Oh, she's just afraid of getting wet," he laughed at me.

His cheerfulness seemed to brighten up Leila's mood and she looked at me in awe and laughed along with him.

"I am not," I said to him matter-of-factly.

"Are too," Edward continued to tease. His spirits were light toward me and I watched as his eyes danced with excitement as we joked just as we used to when we were teenagers.

"Am not," I demanded again, smiling along with him and Leila.

"Are too!" Leila screamed at me, her laughs coming out louder.

"Mommy is not afraid of the cold," I said looking into her eyes, trying to convince her so they would both stop hounding me.

"Are too!" Edward screamed back and before I knew it, he ran at me, throwing me up into the air and over his shoulder so fast that I didn't even have to time to realize what he was doing until I noticed him running toward the water and crashing into the waves with me slumped over his shoulder.

Leila was right behind him, screaming and laughing with delight. When we were up to his knees in the ocean, he threw me down into the cold, salt water that made me whole body tremble in shivers that shot down my spine.

I screamed at him as my back fell back into the water, "Edward, No!"

I looked back up at him, his body only a shadow against the sunlight. Leila was already in his arms as they both looked down at me lying on the bottom of the ocean floor and laughed.

I scowled at the both of them, "It's not funny. I'm soaked!"

They continued to laugh even harder until they were almost fallen over from hysterics. Edward lifted a finger to my head as he continued to tease me, making me angry at the both of them. "Look what's in your hair," he cried through hysterics.

I felt fear run through me for a moment as I thought of the many things that could be on my body like tiny sea creatures. I lifted my hand up to the hair that was now soaked and felt something slimy beneath my fingers. I tore it off my head in disgust and looked to see a piece of sea weed that had been in my head.

I felt their laughs come harder as they saw the look of repulsion that sat on my face, but when I looked at them so happy from the moment of hilarity, I felt all of my anger wash out of me with the coming tide and I laughed along right with them.

I walked closer to stand next to them in the still freezing water, but I lost my balance as the pounding waves knocked me over. Edward was there to catch me before I fell into the water, and he pulled me into his side, the one opposite of Leila. His hand clutched onto my back as he struggled to sturdy me and hold on to Leila at the same time, but after I was balanced, he still held me pressed against his side, his fingers holding on to the part of my back that was exposed from my tank top riding up, as we all continued to laugh.

I looked up into his eyes and into the eyes of my daughter. They were both the same; not only in color, but also in the emotions and passions they held. For once, everything felt right. It felt like there was a thing such as family. Ever since I was little, I was quite doubtful that having a happy family was possible, but never had that dream ever felt so real than in this moment, holding onto the man I still loved and the daughter we created.~

~The cool mid-August air rustled my hair, the only sound as it went whooshing by and the waves crashing against the shore. I sat on the front porch of the little cabin in the dark night, only the stars and the full moon illuminating the world around me.

Inside, Edward was putting Leila to bed and reading her a story. She always liked when Edward read to her before she went to bed. He would make different voices for each character that were quite amusing from time to time. I used to do the same voices when I read to her, back when work didn't so often get in the way. I would always come home late and be too tired to read to her, or I would have too much to do. I hadn't realized how little I had been paying attention to my daughter, but with Edward around, it all seemed so clear to me. Was I really living up to all that I had intended to be in my motherhood?

When Edward came back from Forks, he brought back two things for Leila. Both of which he told me were intended to give her some closure on the issue of not having a family, although he said that void wouldn't be completely filled for a while. One thing he gave to Leila, was the gift of having a grandparent, although I was completely against it.

Apparently, when he had gone home, he stopped by my father's house to tell him about Leila. I hadn't talked to my father in nearly 9 months. He called on Christmas to wish me a Merry Christmas and that was it. He had had little to no contact with Leila. When Edward had gone to see him, he recognized him right away as the guy who knocked me up and he decked him before he even had time to say anything, although I knew Edward wouldn't own up to it. Somehow, Edward had gotten through to my father and convinced him it was important to keep contact with Leila. The next day, my father called and spent a half hour on the phone with Leila and promised he would call her again soon and maybe come and visit her. Leila seemed just as joyous to have another person in her life to love her and we had Edward to thank her for that.

The second thing Edward gave her was two goldfish, although the significance of it, I didn't know. Leila had squealed with joy when she saw the two of them swimming around in the tiny tank he bought for them. She named them Dandy and Lion (after a dandelion I guessed?) and would watch them all day and constantly beg me to let her feed them. I thought this present would get boring to her after a while, but she seemed to enjoy it even more than playing with any of her toys or watching TV. When we were off to the beach, she left Jacob strict instructions on how to care for them which she repeated several times to him, making us all utterly amused. I was coming to understand my daughter more. She was just an innocent little angel whose only flaw was needing to be loved and needing to love and care for another, a flaw that would hurt her one day. She couldn't survive without love. It brought about that emptiness in her eyes.

I heard the screen door creek open and I looked up to see Edward coming through the door smiling, his bright eyes dazzling under the moon and starlight. It took my breath away and I wanted more than ever to reach out to him and thank him for all that he had given my daughter and me at the same time.

He pulled up a chair next to me, his face still smiling at me. "She's sound asleep now," he muttered quietly. It was impossible to miss the joy and pride that was in his voice as he spoke.

"Good," I whispered back, "Thanks for putting her to bed."

"No problem. I enjoy it," he said, his smile growing bigger with each fatherly phrase he made.

"I'm glad because Leila deserves someone in her life like you. I'm so sorry I waited so long to tell you. I was so selfish," I muttered, my voice in disgust at my own guilts.

"I've forgiven you for that," Edward whispered back to me earnestly.

"But I haven't. I was so selfish to not tell you. I was so afraid that you would hurt her, when I was probably afraid you would hurt me."

He looked at me in the night, his eyes focused on mine as if he was trying to read all of my deep thoughts. The smile from his was gone. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, "And I'm so sorry I ever did."

"Just promise me you won't ever hurt Leila. You won't ever abandon her," I asked, although I already knew the answer. I was quite sure that Edward would never leave us. Leila pulled him to her with their special connection.

"You know I won't, but I promise," he said smiling.

"Thank you," I whispered, curving my lips up to smile back at him. He reached out his hand to gently take mine. I had been longing for his touch for too long. Electric currents pulsed through me as soon as his hand touched mine and I even thought there was a shock.

I knew he felt the same tingling sensations too when he touched me. The look on his face showed his breath was taken away and he pulled me into his arms. I laid my head on his chest, feeling the familiar warmth there.

We stayed like that for what felt like forever, just holding on to one another, until Edward broke the silence by whispering, "I still love you. I always have. That's why I broke up with Tanya." My breaths stopped as I listened to what he said to me, his words of love for me. "Before I found you again, I thought you were long gone. I figured you had moved on, so I did too to help the pain go away. I broke up with Tanya right away because I couldn't stop thinking about you. It wasn't fair to keep stringing her along and I didn't want to be with her anymore. I only wanted you, and now that I've found you and our daughter, I never want to leave you guys. I want to be here with you, forever, and I want us to be a family."

My heart leapt with joy at thought of always being with him and Leila, the two people I loved most. And as I whispered, "I've never stopped loving you," my heart reached out for him to take it and keep it forever. As he bent down to softly kiss my lips softly as he had done 5 years ago, I felt our souls entwine together, finally, after everything we've been through, reunited again.

**Comment Please! Thanks for all the awesome ones and thanks a bunch for reading! I'm almost done with it, like three or four more chapters, and hopefully you all won't be too upset with the ending :)**


	25. S'Okay

_Okay, so really sorry I haven't updated in almost a weak! I got too into this really good book I was reading and got kind of stuck on what to do next. I knew the ending, but not how I kind of wanted to get there. But now I know, so I should be updating more frequently! Hopefully! Also, this chapter is alot shorter you may notice and so the rest will be most likely. The story is in the home stretch now so idk but I felt like making shorter chapters for the structure just so it flows better if you know what I mean. So yeah, I should post another one tonight for sure, so enjoy!_

~24~

**~September 2010~**

Everything seemed to be going according to plan I guess you could say. Edward, Leila, and I were a family. Even though I never stopped, it seemed as though I had fallen back in love with Edward. Our love felt so new and purer than ever before and we had Leila to thank for that. She brought us together, and as we all held hands on our previous trip to the beach, we became one unit.

Leila's cancer continued to get a little worse and they immediately started her on therapy. I was quite hesitant about this decision, as I knew all of the effects this would have on her. She was always sick with diarrhea, a stomach ache, headaches, vomiting, etc. and rarely could ever go to school. I was using too many sick days at work, so I was lucky enough to have Edward to stay with her everyday while Jacob and I worked.

I watched in horror as Leila began to change physically right before our eyes. Her skin became more pallid; hardly any color to it, and all of her muscles seemed too weak to even move. Of course one of the scariest changes I was terrified to see was the loss of all of her beautiful bronze hair from the chemo. It seemed to happen so quickly, and suddenly, we were shopping for cute little hats to put on her naked head and colorful bandanas. Even though her hair was gone, she was still the most beautiful and bright little girl I had ever seen. She seemed more angelic with her albino skin and the only spot of color in her appearance were those beaming green eyes. Out of all things, they remained the same; always full of hope, always full of fire, and always full of love.

The end of September brought with it a slight chill in the air. I sat on the couch in my apartment, nestled on the couch against the side of Edward, underneath a large wool quilt. I pressed my body closer to his chest to absorb more of the heat radiating off of his body. The digital clock on the TV in front of us read 12:37 and both Leila and Jacob were asleep in their bedrooms.

Edward still had his apartment in Manhattan, but he often just stayed at mine all night long and we would curl up together in the silence and darkness, not even speaking, just simply holding on to one another. I craved his presence with me every moment of every day, although we had never made love again since the last time when we were teenagers in high school. We were often times just too distracted over the weakening of Leila's physicality to ever focus on us. We were haunted by too many facts and figures of Leila's disease.

I felt Edward move slightly beneath me and his hand start to stroke my back again, relieving me of all of my pain and worry. He had a way of making me feel better just by his presence and touch and making it seem like everything would be okay. I listened as he cleared his throat before leaning down to my ear to whisper, "Bella, are you still awake?"

I smiled and tilted my face up toward his, to look into his dazzling emerald eyes. "Yes," I whispered back with a smile.

"Oh, sorry if I woke you," he apologized.

"S'okay, I was too distracted to sleep," I whispered. He shook his head in silent laughs and I questioned him curiously, "What?"

"Do you realize what you just said?" he asked amused, still silently laughing.

"No," I said skeptically, "What?"

"You said s'okay. I haven't heard you say that since we were in high school. You used to say it all the time," he said, his pearly white smile illuminating the pitch black room.

"Oh, guess I haven't fully broken the habit yet," I teased him.

"I guess not," he whispered, his face still smiling down on mine.

We sat like that for a few moments, just simply smiling down at each other, amazed at where we finally were; in each other's arms after so long of searching.

I interrupted the silence after images of my teenage years spray painted my memory. I took my eyes away from his smile and mumbled into his chest, "I used to always say that whenever things felt hopeless and dead. It helped me get through it all when I pretended on the outside I guess."

"Like now?" he whispered. I looked up to see the smile vanished from his face and his eyes full of sorrow and worry.

"Yeah," I mumbled and I felt tears start to sting my eyes. "I'm scared Edward."

He put his hand on my cheek and tucked me in closer to his chest, leaning his chin on top of my head. "I know, so am I," he whispered sadly, "But you don't have to pretend you're not. We have each other to make it through this. We're both here to help each other and Leila be strong and make it through this."

I nodded my head and he bent his lips down to kiss the top of it, and there he was, my beam of hope trying to make things okay and seem as if they would get better. I closed my eyes and we sat pressed together as he gently continued to stroke my back, making my feelings of tears and the lump in my throat go away.

I opened my eyes when I heard the silent creak of a bedroom door and the quiet pat of little feet down the hall. I sat up in Edward's arms and looked to the opening of the living room area into the hall and saw Leila come through. Her white skin glowed in the dark and she kept a hand to her mouth. Her eyes sparkled, but they looked different. For the first time since she was diagnosed with leukemia, the energetic sparkle was gone and all they showed was fear.

"What is it honey?" I whispered to her from the couch, fear and worry etched in every corner of my voice. I noticed Edward's body go all tense next to me and heard him catch his breath.

"Mommy," she croaked as she broke into a fit of coughing, removing the hand from her mouth, to splutter crimson red blood everywhere.

**Comment Please!**


	26. Type A

_Just a quick note: I'm trying to make everything as accurate as possible with Leila's leukemia based on prior knowledge and some research I am doing at the moment, but I am not a doctor, so everything might not be so true. so yeah, try to take that into consideration if you know a great deal more than me about these type of things and don't criticize too harshly! Thanks for reading!_

~25~

We immediately rushed Leila to the hospital. I scooped her up into my arms, cradling her against my chest with a towel stuffed under her chin as she coughed up more blood, while Edward vigorously called 911. Jacob had woken up from all of our hysterical screams, and when the EMTs came, he drove to the hospital in his car while Edward and I climbed into the back of the ambulance.

Leila stopped coughing up the blood once she arrived at the hospital and the doctors concluded that it probably was an effect of the chemotherapy, but they were going to run tests. They also deemed that her cancer was getting worse and they wanted to keep her in the hospital for more tests and observations.

Edward and I sat on either side of her bed in the hospital, each stroking one of her hands, as we watched her sleep, listening to the deep breaths she made through the oxygen mask that was now strapped to her sallow face. It was 9 o'clock in the morning that same day, and she was just able to get back to sleep. Jacob had come and sat with us in the waiting room while they performed some tests on her and had left at 7 to go to work.

I was exhausted but sleep was the furthest thing from mind. Edward and I sat in silence, just staring at the pale ghost of the daughter that we created. We never moved from the side of her bed; only for a bathroom break, when Edward went to go get coffee, and when the nurse came in to check on her and change her IV bags.

Leila only woke up once in the afternoon, and when she did, it was like looking at a new daughter. Her voice was no longer the sweet bell chime that it was, but rather a raspy croak, and there was no fire or energy in her eyes. She was alive and well at the moment considering everything that happened, but it seemed like everything inside her was dead. It seemed as if the real Leila, her true spirit, was gone.

Jacob came by the hospital later that night when he was done with work. He offered to stay with Leila while Edward and I went home to change and shower. I hadn't realized we were still in the same clothes from 24 hours ago until Jacob pointed it out. I was reluctant to go, but Edward and Jacob persuaded me that I needed a break and that I could be back in an hour and Leila would still be sleeping.

Edward walked me up to my empty apartment and for a moment, I was afraid he was going to leave me while he went to his to change. I didn't want to be away from him. I needed him now more than ever.

Thankfully, he followed me inside, walking silently behind me as I threw my purse down onto the kitchen table. If he left me, I wasn't sure what I would have done. He stood in the doorway, just watching me, as I looked up, blinking the tears from eyes and then collapsed onto the floor a few seconds later in a fit of hysterics.

He knelt down on the floor next to me in an instant and curled me up to his side, while I clutched at his navy blue T-shirt, screaming and crying for what was happening to my baby girl. Eventually, my screaming subsided into sobs and he rocked me back in forth, kissing my head and leaning his head to mine and whispering, "Shh, everything will be okay." One moment we were staring into each other's eyes full of pain and worry, and the next we were kissing passionately, pressing our bodies closer to one another on the kitchen floor, desperate to see how close we could come to one another.

"Edward," I whispered, gasping for air as we broke away to catch our breath, "don't leave me tonight. I need you now more than ever."

"I'm not going anywhere," he gasped, his green eyes puncturing through my soul, "I love you Bella."

Before I knew it, he was lifting me up off the floor, my arms around his neck and my legs hooked around his waist, carrying me to the bedroom and falling down together onto the bed. I ripped off the navy blue T-shirt that was still soaked from my tears in a frenzy and ran my hands along the smooth, strong muscles of his torso as he kissed my neck and began to unbutton my blouse.

We made love in the total darkness, the full moon outside my bedroom window illuminating our pale skin that covered our naked bodies. After, we lay curled around each other, my tears falling silently as he stroked my cheek and whispered how much he loved me.

It would have seemed liked we were two teenagers again, frantically trying to get into one another's pants, but in all essence, we let our love consume us and submerge us in a world where all of our fears for Leila were gone and it was just us there, lying wrapped around each other in the moonlight.

We drove back to the hospital at 12 am that night, and I felt calmer and more at ease at with what we were facing with Leila. I had no idea what I would have done without Edward if I was alone in that apartment with my grief. Edward made me stronger by the moment we just spent together. I felt more prepared and determined to see Leila healthy again with him by my side. He gave me hope.

Jacob said Leila had woken up once while we were gone, but briefly, and Edward and I resumed our posts next on either side of Leila while Jacob went home to rest before he had to go to work the next morning.

Over the next few days that brought us into the crisp October, Leila remained in the hospital and seemed to get worse, while we waited for the test results. Edward, Jacob, and I switched off staying at the hospital with Leila, and I never went to work. I just couldn't with Leila so sick.

The doctor called me out into the hall with the test results while Edward sat with Leila in her room. She was awake for once and was chit-chatting on the phone softly with my father, assuring him that she was fine and that he wouldn't need to fly down immediately to see her.

I anxiously waited while the doctor prattled on with her medical terms on what was wrong. Finally, she said it in words I could understand:

"She has acute leukemia so her blood contains too many abnormal and immature leukocytes, or white blood cells, that keep being produced in her marrow. This has been on an increase recently, so if this keeps up, it could spread to her organs and her cancer could be terminal. We need to do more than chemotherapy at this point and we want to a bone marrow transplant to greatly lower the risk of this happening."

I just nodded my head to the doctor, because that is about all I could do; words would barely form in my mouth.

"If you are okay with going through with the transplant," the doctor continued, "we need to look into seeing a donor for her with the same blood type. Usually we look for siblings, but as Leila has none, we could try other family members or just a stranger with the same blood type who would be willing to donate."

"What type of blood does Leila have?" I managed to spit out, hopeful that I had a match to hers.

"Leila has type A blood," the doctor said and I felt my heart sink because I had type AB.

The doctor followed me back to Leila's room, where she was still on the phone with my father. The doctor led Edward out of the room where she broke the news to him on Leila's test results.

A few minutes later, Edward entered the room. His eyes still contained the same bit of sadness, but the glimmer of hope in them seemed to be burning brighter.

"I have to go for some test results," he said to me as he walked over to Leila's bad and kissed her on the forehead.

"Why?" I asked worried. What could happen now? He couldn't be sick too. I needed him to help me get through Leila's disease.

"Because they have to make sure I'm healthy enough. I'm Leila's bone marrow donor," he said and a hint of a smile crossed his face. Perhaps he had been right; everything was going to be okay.

**Review Please! :)**


	27. Happy Ending

_Wow, so I posted three chapters in one day! Nice! Anyway, contrary to the title, this IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! There is still 3 more, which will be very brief, but the last one might be a little longer. So yeah, not the last chapter, but almost there! Thanks a bunch for reading! It means A LOT to me and I can't thank you enough!_

~26~

~October 2010~

Noises erupted around me as I sat on the old ratchety chair, staring down at the tile floor. Doctors rushed past me, barking orders at nervous nurses. Family members sat together, some talking quietly with words of reassurance, some crying to themselves. The hospital smell of bleach mixed with an odd funk of an odor erupted around me. My nails clicked loudly under my chair as I tapped my fingers in anxiety, glancing every two seconds in the direction of the surgery rooms.

A week ago, it was decided that Leila would undergo a bone marrow transplant. It was also decided that Edward would be her donor. They shared more than the same DNA; they shared the same blood type A. Edward underwent tests to make sure his blood and bone marrow would be appropriate for Leila, and now a week later, I sit in this waiting room, awaiting to see if Edward made it through the surgery.

A few anxious minutes longer, I saw the nurse coming toward me, a reassuring smile on her face.

"Everything went well," she said, "Mr. Cullen is fine and resting in his room. He might still be asleep from the anesthesia, but will wake fairly soon. We will start to prepare for Leila's transplant which will be in a few hours. You can go and visit either of them now if you like."

"Thank you," I said and rushing off to visit Edward in his room. I slowed my footsteps when I came closer to his room and peaked in silently to see if he was sleeping, but he seemed to be just coming around from the anesthesia.

I crept in and bent over his head, taking his hand in mine and kissing his forehead. A smile spread across his face as he slowly opened his eyes and brought them to my face.

"Bella," he whispered, smiling up at me, his green eyes dancing with excitement.

"Shh," I cooed, "Let the anesthesia wear off first."

He nodded his head and closed his eyes, but the smile never left his face. A minute later though, he looked up at me and croaked, "Bella, how did it go?"

I smiled and chuckled silently. "It went fine silly."

He chuckled too and continued, "When is Leila going in?"

"In a few hours," I whispered back, "I'm going to go and sit with her till then soon and then I'll come back and visit you until she's done."

"Can you give her a kiss of luck for me?" he asked.

"Of course," I answered, my smile of love beaming at him. "I can't thank you enough," I continued, "You were willing to give up something to help Leila live. I will forever be grateful to you."

He stared into my eyes, his full of love and pride. "I did it because I love Leila and I can't imagine anything happening to her. I would give up my life for her, as I would for you."

I smiled back at him, "I know, and I would do anything for you and Leila as well."

"Well that's good," he said cheerfully, sitting up a little higher in his bed.

"Why?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe after all of this is done and we're all out of this hospital, that maybe we could all be a family."

"We practically already are one," I said, shaking my head in chuckles.

"I mean…listen, Bella, I love you and Leila more than anything in this world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you guys. I want us to become a real family. I want you and Leila to come and live with me in my beach house, in a place of our own, and I want you to become my wife."

"Is this a marriage proposal Mr. Cullen?" I teased. I couldn't believe the words he was actually saying. It seemed like a dream come true to me; that were such things in the world as happy endings.

"Yes it is, but it's more than that," he said, "I want us to finally be together like the family that we are. I want Leila to finally know me as her father and not her mother's creepy boyfriend. I want you to be my wife and I want us to live with Leila in a house of our own where we can build a life together as a family for the rest of our life, so please Bella, will you consider it?"

"Consider it?" I scoffed and I saw the smile on his face sink until I laughed back, "It's what I want more than anything else in this world!"

He wore the biggest smile I had ever seen plastered on anyone's face and he pulled me on top of him on the bed were we hugged and kissed in our embrace, laughing and crying tears of happiness. My dreams were finally coming true.

I eventually left Edward's room to go and visit Leila before she went in to have her surgery. We weren't necessarily out of the woods yet, but the doctors were very hopeful that this would help Leila a great deal.

I found her in her bed leaning on Jacob as tears streamed down her eyes. "What's wrong," I demanded of him.

Leila pointed over to the bowl of fish that were sitting on the windowsill of her room. Edward had brought them over to help cheer her up while she was still in the hospital. Both of the fish were floating with their noses down. "My fishies are dead," she cried.

"Oh Leila," I said, walking over to her to comfort her, "It's okay. They went to heaven. We can get you more fish when you get better and go home."

She nodded her head but the tears continued to stream down her cheeks and I wiped them away with my gentle hand.

"Someone forgot to feed them, I think," Jacob whispered to me, "But there's some eggs in there I think, maybe they'll hatch. Turns out those fish were a boy and a girl."

"Well, it's unlikely they'll hatch," I muttered to him, "Don't most of them die anyway?"

He just shrugged his shoulders while Leila continued to cry. A few minutes later, I decided it was time to get her cheery again so that she wouldn't be upset for her transplant.

"Leila," I cooed, "Mommy has a surprise for you."

"What?" she asked.

"Well, after you're done with your surgery, Edward is going to take us back to the beach for a little while. Wouldn't you like that?"

"Yeah," she said. The tears were gone, but her voice was still sad.

"Maybe you can get a fish there?" I said hopeful, and before I knew it, she was cheered up again thinking of how cool it would be to own a fish from the beach.

The nurses came and took her into surgery. I could tell by her eyes that she was scared, but from the kiss of luck Edward left me to give her, I felt in my heart, the hope he projected onto us and that she would make it through and be just fine.

**Review Please!**


	28. Delusions

Thanks for all of your comments! I enjoy reading them! I hope you like this chapter :)

~27~

"We're home."

The words continued to echo through my mind every time I looked at my daughter, happily watching the waves roll in from the living room window, and every time I looked at Edward, too smitten with everything to wipe the smile from his face.

We had been living in the beach house for three days now. Leila had just come home from the hospital. The procedure had gone according to plan and almost immediately, changes in her physical appearance were noticeable. Her skin seemed to darken up to its' normal color, no longer the albino see through skin. Her hair was still gone, but her eyes shined more than ever before.

The doctors said they would continue the chemotherapy for a little while longer, but they were positive that Edward's bone marrow would help treat her, not cure her for good though because that was almost impossible.

We weren't officially moved in to the beach house though. Most of our things were still at the apartment, but Edward said we should take it slow and not overwhelm ourselves. I felt bad for leaving Jacob though. He still lived in our apartment, but he couldn't possibly pay for the whole thing by himself. He told me not worry and that he would find a smaller one for himself at some point, but I insisted on still paying my half of the rent until all of our things were moved in with Edward in the beach house.

I decided I would ride the train into work every day and then get a cab from Grand Central. I couldn't possibly quit my job. Edward said he could get one of his father's employees to come pick me up every day, but I would feel bad if I relied too heavily on Edward and all of his resources. I only went to work once on our third day at the house, and my method seemed to work well, but I was more than happy to get home at 6 to see Edward and Leila sitting at the kitchen table that was decorated fancy with a bright red tablecloth, candles, Chinese food, and porcelain dishes. A banner decorated with 'We love you Mommy' hung from the windows.

"What's this?" I exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across my face.

"Surprise!" Leila shouted, jumping up for joy.

Edward laughed, a wide toothy grin spreading across his face as well. "We decided to do something special for you to celebrate your first day back to work."

"Oh well thank you," I said picking up Leila into my arms and kissing her forehead, "I love you too."

We sat around the table, eating our Chinese food and laughing about Leila's day on the beach. At 8 o'clock, Leila went upstairs to bed leaving Edward and I by ourselves. We just sat staring at each other with broad smiles on our faces, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight, but something about his appearance looked different.

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked worried.

"Yes why?" he asked back, seeming a little worried himself.

I studied his face and how pale his complexion was looking recently. I was too happy that I didn't really pay attention or notice it until now. "You just look a little pale," I said.

"Oh, I'm fine Bella, really," he answered reassuringly, but for some reason, it only made me more nervous.

I just nodded my head, but he could tell I still wasn't satisfied. He stood up and walked over to me, taking my hand, and whispered, "Bella, don't worry about me. I'm the happiest I've been in all my life. Even when we were together when we were teenagers, I thought I couldn't get any happier, but now I am."

"I'm happy too," I repeated, grasping his hand tighter in mine.

"I know," he whispered, "I've noticed your eyes. They don't seem as empty anymore." He reached up to my face to stroke the skin gently beneath my eyes.

"They haven't been empty in a while," I said, "I feel whole with you here and Leila too. I feel like I'm part of a family; a family I've never had. I love you, Edward."

"And I love you," he answered back, smiling, "And one day, I'm going to buy you a ring and propose to you properly."

"Well, let's not rush it," I teased, "I'm just as happy like we are now as I would be with a marriage proposal involved."

He laughed at me, his eyes releasing the fire within, "Oh Bella." he continued laughing, holding my cheek in his hand, until his laughter broke off into deep and throaty coughs.

"Edward," I said fearfully, tightening my grip on his hand. He took the hand off of my cheek and put it to his mouth, as he wheezed, trying to catch his breath, his face turning red to almost purple.

"Edward," I muttered again and I raced up to get him a drink of water. I practically shoved it down his throat, but when he stopped the coughing, the blood draining from his face, and just looked at me and whispered, "I'm fine Bella, it's just a tiny cough."

I nodded my head and he placed his lips on mine, and suddenly my fears and worries were gone, and I willed myself to believe that 'it was just a tiny cough' and ignored the warning signs in my head as we drifted deeper into our passionate kisses. But looking back on it, I should have listened to what my brain was screaming and not what my heart wanted, maybe then, things wouldn't have happened so tragically.

~It was the next morning and I was getting ready to go to work. Leila was downstairs in the kitchen with Edward, and they were quietly watching TV while eating breakfast. The horror of Edward coughing last night still lived in my head as weird feelings of omens pulsed through me, but I believed Edward's delusions. He knew better than anyone when he was fine right?

I was finally relaxed as I was buttoning up my blouse when I heard high pitch screams erupt downstairs. A few seconds later, it was Leila calling up the stairs to me, "Mommy! Help!"

I flew down the stairs, my blouse halfway unbuttoned and not tucked into my skirt. As I neared the kitchen, I gasped as I saw Leila standing over a practically lifeless body of Edward on the floor. He was kneeling over on the floor and holding a hand to his chest. Leila stood behind him, patting his back, as he made the same deep coughs from last night, but this time mixed with a wheezing and retching sound, that relinquished dark crimson all over his hands and on the floor.

He looked up into my eyes and my horror struck face, his purple face almost the same. His eyes looked darker than usual and there were no more of his reassuring hopes in them. For once, he seemed to believe that something was terribly wrong. "Help," he wheezed at me in between coughs that brought him to collapse onto the floor, relinquishing a sea of blood everywhere.

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	29. You Will Wait For Me My Love

**Okay, so this chapter is going to be sad, and while I was writing this, I was listening to the song My Love by Sia from the Eclipse soundtrack and it kind of reminded me of this chapter, so that's why I posted the lyrics. Also, this isn't the last chapter! There is one more which I will hopefully post today! Thanks for reading :)**

_My love, leave yourself behind_  
_Beat inside me, leave you blind_  
_My love, you have found peace_  
_You were searching for release_

_You gave it all, into the call_  
_You took a chance and_  
_You took a fall for us_

_You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully_  
_You taught me honor, you did it for me_

_Tonight you will sleep for good _  
_You will wait for me my love_

_Now I am strong_  
_You gave me all _  
_You gave all you had and now I am home _

~28~

I paced back and forth on the white tile floor, my nerves were all tangled up and my heart was in my chest. I knew something wasn't right. I had never felt surer than ever of that fact and it scared me. Usually I had Edward to reassure all of my fears, but now, he was my fear.

It was 7 at night and Edward had been here all day. I hadn't seen him since when we first came in. They were performing countless number of tests. Jacob had gotten out of work to bring Leila back to our apartment. I didn't want her here to watch him suffer.

The doctor came down the hallway, just like she had after Leila's transplant. She had worn a big smile on her face, but this time, there was no smile. She looked down at her feet, unwilling to meet my eyes. When she got close enough to me, she simply muttered, "I'm sorry."

Tears came to my eyes and a lump came to my throat. I wanted to throw myself to the ground and crawl under a rock, but for Leila's sake, that wasn't an option.

"Bacteria had gotten into his blood while we were performing the surgery to take his marrow," she continued, still hardly looking into my eyes, "It was only a little, but it reproduced enough to spread to the rest of his blood and of course his organs which will soon go into failure. There's nothing we can do to stop it. It's too late now. I'm sorry."

She left me to go and tend to more patients who had a better chance of living. My whole body was numb as I walked down the hallway to his room. I couldn't feel anything and I didn't want to. If I did, my body was sure to go into a fit and start convulsing.

The first thing I heard was the beeping of the heart monitor next to him and his heavy gasps as he stared up at the ceiling. I crept toward him, reaching for his hand that lay limp at his side. I looked up to his white face. He was barely alive, but he was already a ghost. He closed his eyes and I thought for a moment that it was the end without him saying goodbye, but he opened them up a second later and let drops of tears fall.

He tilted his head downward to look into my terrified eyes; terrified of losing him, terrified of living without him. I noticed his eyes, they were just as terrified. The emerald was dark and pierced through my soul, but the fire was gone in them. They were just sad windows into his soul.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. His voice still contained the sweetness and gentility etched within, but it was still raspy and hardly audible. I knew the end was nearer. It seemed a miracle he was even alive for this moment, but maybe he held out for me.

"I'm not," I whispered, squeezing his hand harder. The tears began to fall and I couldn't hold them back. I wanted to be strong for him, but that was no longer an option. He would see me crumble.

"Shh," he whispered, "Please be strong for Leila."

"I will," I sobbed, my heart aching in my chest. It felt as though I was going into cardiac arrest. I pulled myself closer to him, sitting on the stool next to his bed.

He looked down at me, "I'm so sorry Bella. I gave you promises and hopes of a happy life and I took them away from you in an instant. Please forgive me, for everything. I will never forgive myself for letting you walk away five years ago and I will never forgive myself for leaving you now."

I sobbed harder as old memories rushed through my head, "I do forgive you. I already have."

He closed his eyes and sighed. He seemed to be letting go. I leaned over and kissed his lips softly only once and rested my head on his chest, "Please don't leave me."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "Tell Leila I love her. Please, don't let her forget me."

"She never will," I whispered, "You gave her so much, how could she ever forget you."

"I just wish I gave her more," he sighed, "And you."

"Shh," I cooed into his chest as my sobbing increased, "You gave me everything. You saved my little girl from a life of terminal cancer and gave her the family she deserved. You saved me when I was a teenager from my miserable life full of neglect, loss, and darkness and you saved me now from thinking that was all that was good in the world. You gave me my dreams. I love you Edward and I will always love you."

I felt him start to gasp for breaths underneath me. I looked up to see him blinking more tears back. It was the end and I knew it. These would be his last words. "I love you Bella. If God forgives me and I go to heaven, it will only be hell without you. I will wait for you at the entrance in the hopes for you to come soon. I want you to have a happy life here on Earth with Leila, but when you're ready, I will be there waiting for you. Our love is a pattern. We're together and then we're not. We'll be together again, my love, and when we are, it will be for forever this time."

His voiced started to fade on the last words and I watched as he started to gasp again and I tore my eyes from his as his head fell back on the pillow. I clutched onto his chest, refusing to let go, as the heart monitor sped up and then ceased altogether while he took his last breath.

I felt the hollow body beneath me and the numbness consumed me. All that was heard were my sobs. His soul was gone from the empty body, and with it, he took my heart and it would be gone from me until I met him at the gates of heaven, waiting for me, holding out my heart and the possibility of forever with it.

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	30. We Can Only Hope We Shall Meet Again

This is the last chapter. Thank you guys for reading and I'm sorry that you weren't happy with Edward dying. I do like happy endings, but sometimes I feel that sad stories can be a bit better. I think they sometimes provide deeper meaning and hopefully you guys will get that more in this chapter. This chapter is also just a wrap up; there's no like extra plot to it or really a followup to what happens to Leila and Bella. So yeah, thanks so much for reading! It means a lot to me! I worked hard on this story! You can check out some of my other stories on my page. I'm about to start working on Golden Sunset again, but no one has really checked it out, so if you don't mind giving it a chance! Anyways, hope you enjoy and don't forget to leave a review and tell me your final thoughts! Thanks so much! xoxo

~29~

~March 2011~

The cold wind rustled through my long brown hair, making the hairs on my neck and arms stick up. I couldn't stop my body from letting out a quick shiver. I took my one free arm and yanked the collars of my black, wool pea coat tighter together. My other hand tightened around the little girl's who walked silently beside me. Usually, Leila would always skip next to me, full of energy and prattling on about something, but whenever we came here, she would always bow her head silently and think to herself. This was not after all a happy place.

It was the end of March and spring was just starting to come in, but the weather was still cold with a bit of a chill in the air. We continued on the familiar path. I hadn't been here since the end of December. It was too hard to come in the snow and even more impossible to find him when the place was snow covered. Even so, I had the path memorized from the countless days I would spend up here back in the fall. I could find him blind folded.

It had been 5 months since Edward was gone. I thought about him every day and felt the ache in my chest everywhere I turned. He was gone, but still present in our lives. It was hard to not collapse on the floor every time I thought about his bright eyes and smile, but I had to be strong for Leila.

As we continued on the path, distant memories of the days just after he was gone started to fly at me:

_ I remembered coming home from the hospital after he was gone. I had clutched onto the dead corpse of the man I loved for what felt like forever, sobbing harder than ever, waiting for the numbness take over until I was just as dead as he was. That moment never came of course. Eventually, the nurses came back in and had to pry me off of him as I struggled in their arms, desperate to hold onto his body one more time. _

_They were practically about to throw me into the mental institution when I remembered my little girl sitting at home. I decided I had to go home to her. I had someone to live for, and I walked down the vacant hospital hall, clutching my sides and sniffling to myself as a line of nurses looked after while they hauled his body out._

_When I managed to get home to my apartment, Jacob was there in the living room with Leila. She was sitting on the floor, coloring a picture, and showing it to Jacob. It read "Get well soon, Edward!"_

_I couldn't speak when I saw the picture. I didn't know how to tell her, how to tell anyone, but thankfully, Jacob read my face that was red and swollen. He saw the misery and grief behind my eyes. I simply walked over and took Leila in my arms and somehow, she knew. She sensed that something had happened with Edward and he wasn't coming back. I heard her start to cry and watched as she let go of my arms and walked to her room, tears streaming down her cheeks._

_"He's gone," I muttered to Jacob, my voice shaking._

_He sat down on the couch next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder, and when Leila came back, she was holding the fish bowl that Edward had given her. She shoved it into my arms and murmured, "Look, my fish hatched." _

_I wondered why she was telling me this. I thought she understood about Edward, but realization hit me when she continued, "I named him Edward, so we'll always remember him." The death of Edward brought the birth of a fish; a fish that would symbolize to Leila that Edward would always be there, watching over her and the family he created for us._

I felt Leila move huddle closer to me as we walked up another hill of the cemetery, almost to his place. I looked down at her and smiled into her bright green eyes, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay. She had just turned 5 last month and was in a stage of remission with her leukemia. The doctors still thought it would come back when she was older, but for now, she about as healthy as she was before. The chemotherapy stopped and her bronze hair began to grow back. Now, her hair was chin length, and a tiny clip held back some out of her eyes.

I looked back toward the path, and saw there was only one more hill until we were there. I took deep breaths and tried to calm my nerves as more memories flew past me.

_The day of the funeral was one of the hardest days I ever had to go through in my life. It was held a week after Edward's death so all of his close family and friends could fly into New York. He was to be buried in a cemetery in Long Island, something his mother fought, but his father insisted. He claimed that Edward had once told him that Long Island was the place where what he loved most in the world was and that would be where he would spend the rest of his life, and so that would be where he would rest._

_I didn't think anyone of Edward's family knew about Leila. It once told me he was apprehensive about telling them. He didn't want to bring their overbearingness onto Leila and he was afraid that telling them would be worse for Leila than beneficial, but he would eventually. Unfortunately, that moment never happened._

_Leila, Jacob, and I sat in the last pew of the church. I didn't want to make a scene by being the mysterious high school sweetheart and her young daughter. Edward's parents sat in the front row, and I kept thinking of how very sad that it was that they had lost both children. Throughout the whole ceremony, we all just sobbed silently, holding each other. I had let out my screams and violent sobs before the funeral. _

_When the ceremony was over, I sat still in the pew alongside Jacob and Leila as everyone started to leave, and just stared at the portrait of Edward that stood next to his casket. It was a recent photo, but was probably taken a year before. The sun was beaming down on his face, and his bright green eyes were full of happiness that matched his smile. It was the Edward I admired, but he seemed different somehow. There was something missing in this Edward than there was in the last Edward I saw. He wasn't smiling the same way. It seemed as though a part of him was missing; the part of him that Leila occupied._

_I caught many stares from people who shuffled past and out of the church. I figured everyone would guess at who Leila and I were. The doctors and nurses weren't exactly quiet on his way of death and if people were clever enough to connect the dots, they would see it was just as obvious as the nose on their faces._

_I felt heavy eyes on me and when I looked up, I was looking into the green eyes of Esme Cullen, Edward's mother. Her eyes were the same as Edward and Leila's, but they were fiercer, vanity plastered everywhere. I knew she recognized me by the way she glowered and I had no doubt she knew who Leila was. Carlisle was right beside her, but he made no notion to follow her when she made her way toward me._

_She stopped just next to the pew where we were sitting, and I could see all of the pain and misery she was going through. "I'm sorry," I muttered to her._

_She just nodded her head and her eyes drifted toward Leila. She kept them locked there for a moment, but they traveled back to me. "A trust was made for your daughter," she muttered, her voice hard, making it near impossible to believe that she was at all upset over her son, "It will cover all of her medical bills for the rest of her life. And, the beach house was paid off and it is now yours to own. The papers will be sent to your apartment shortly."_

_"But –", I started._

_"It's what Edward would have wanted," she interjected, her voice domineering._

_"Thank you," I muttered. And with that, she gave a quick nod and simply walked away from us. I had the feeling that that would be the only kind thing she would do for me and her granddaughter. She knew who we were and what we meant to Edward, and so, she made good on honoring him._

The walk was finally over, and we passed by headstone after headstone until we found the one we were searching for. It read, _"Edward Anthony Cullen: June 20, 1987- October 10, 2010. A beloved son. We can only hope we shall see each other again, in that place where there is only love and no shadows fall. You have touched our very being. You shall forever be remembered."_

I looked down over the mound of grass where the tombstone now sat. It was newly placed there. I took a deep breath and smiled, "Hey you, looks like you finally got yourself a proper headstone."

There was no answer back; only the soft whistling of the wind, but I could picture his face, laughing with a teasing remark back. I knelt down on the grass, and Leila knelt down too. I closed my eyes and felt the earth between my fingers and imagined his skin under them instead. I smiled to myself with the memory of his eyes looking back, but when I opened mine, it was only the tombstone looking back.

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "We missed coming to see you in the winter, but you're just so far up here that we couldn't find you through all the snow, but we stayed at the beach house for Leila's birthday and we looked out on the water, wishing you were there with us." I looked down at my lap. It felt strange talking to nobody, but it helped. It helped me feel closer to him. "We'll have to start bringing you pretty flowers now so you're place won't look so plain."

I chuckled a bit and felt Leila tug on my arm. I looked down to see her eyes full of hope. She held in her hand a frame holding a picture she colored a long time ago in preschool of her and the father she never had. She had hid it underneath her bed, but I found it one day while cleaning.

I wasn't sure what she was doing with the picture now, but I just nodded to her, and she got up and walked closer to the tombstone. She knelt down right in front of it, holding the picture steady, waiting for me to say something.

"Leila brought you something today though," I whispered.

I watched as she leaned the picture against the tombstone, making the picture it held visible. I hadn't realized it before, but the father holding her hand in the picture looked like Edward. He had the same green eyes and bronze hair.

I was in total amazement that Leila had had a distinct picture of her father she before she met him, and he looked like what he really was. My shock took my breath away though when Leila leaned forward to kiss the tombstone and whispered sweetly, "I love you Daddy."

We had never told her that Edward was her father, but somehow she knew. They had a special connection from day one; a connection that ran deep into their souls. The thought and felt the same things and understood each other in a way that no one else could. It must have been with this connection that Leila knew he was her father. They shared the same emotions, passions, loves, and now, they shared the same blood. His blood ran through her; the blood that saved her life and took his away. He gave up his life for our daughter to live, and I would forever be grateful to him.

I had been wrong about Edward. I was afraid he would end up hurting me and Leila, but he never did. He made our life better. He gave us hope in achieving our dreams. He gave Leila the hope for a family, one that would be united and share the love we all needed to feel. Before him, she was empty inside. She felt abandoned by a family, but when he came, she felt a part of one and loved again.

Out of all the things Edward gave me, from our love to the gift of our daughter, hope is the one that had the most profound effect. He was a miracle, there to drag me out of the darkness whenever I succumbed to it. As a teenager, I was lost in the world. I had no one to count in life, and he was there, to show me it was okay to reach out and love. He gave me hope for a better and brighter future. When he came back in my life 5 years later, he gave me the hope of trusting again and remembering how to love. He gave me hope that Leila would be alright. He was there to comfort me and make me stronger. Without him, I didn't know how I would have survived. He gave me hope of us being together forever, in the family that we had always dreamed about.

I looked up to the clear blue sky as I still sat kneeled on the grass. I closed my eyes and soaked in the spring sun that beamed down on me. It was there to bring me hope, just as Edward did, and I felt his spirit present with me. I felt the hope that I would see him again in heaven where we would be together forever shine down on me with the sun.

Time passes by quickly though, and eventually the sun started to set and the stars started come out. I took Leila's hand and we left our Edward there on the hilltop in the cemetery. I looked back as we made our way down. I felt empty again without him and my world seemed to get darker as the sun set, but as Edward taught me, I felt the hope burn inside me that I would one day see him again and that life would be brighter once more; the sun would burst through the cloud of darkness and rise, releasing the hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow…

The End.


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